Jokes that offend EVERYONE

[xxbckiexx]

INB4TL

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's fucking good for her
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Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
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Q: What is the definition of making love'?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
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Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.
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Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
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Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating bitch once in a while too.
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Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
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Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
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Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
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Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
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Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
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Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
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Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
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Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
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Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole week.
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Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
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Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
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Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
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Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
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Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
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Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it

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[CHRISNITTOLO]

I didn't get offended... Lol...

Only because a few made me Lol...

[oneSLOWex]

LOL so bad...but so funny!

[PSINXS]

some of those r good. and the last joke is the truth!!!!!

[Jecht]

I seriously lol'd at this one:
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

[roxie911]

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

:lmfao:

[MistaCee]

Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

LMAOO

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Not true

[bdydrpdmazda]

very nice, would rep you but I must spread some around first

[AnthonyF]

SO many funny ones!

@ 30 mph

@ look in your pants!

-Ant.

[ItsBlack]

The first one set the tone, then I was forced to read the rest.

lmao @
the first one
54000 women/dont fuckin listen
ribbed condoms/traction in the mud
eithiopian blowjob/she'll swallow
lookin your pants for a penis

[Me86Rob]

lol

[NAMNORI]

What color is a baby in a blender?
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Don't know I was too busy jacking off
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What's the difference between jelly and jam?
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You can't jelly your dick in your girlfriends ass!

[True Pyroman]

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won't Admit:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not White.
3. Rap music is here to stay
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller.
8. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White And Black People Know, But Hispanic People Won't Admit:

1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.!
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family
10.Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.


10 Truths White And Hispanic People Know, But Black People Won't Admit:

1. O. J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a kool-aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10.Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car

[punkr6]

good stuff....

[sano240]

how do u know all this have, u been watching me plus tupacs in south america somewhere

[lcortes32]

some of those r good. and the last joke is the truth!!!!!


LOVE YOUS SIG

i LOL everytime i see it

Just sayin

[xxbckiexx]

LOVE YOUS SIG

i LOL everytime i see it

Just sayin


Should rep me, he stole it from my 99 problems but a bitch ain't one thread. that fucker.

[cactusEG]

LMAO

[G.C]

HAHAH!! Great jokes.