Couple Jokers

[PinkTaco04]

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street, and
they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00
each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair."

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, Look here! We could
buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Sand
Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune.

Now when we go in there you be quiet, okay? "Just let
me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent,
they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell
that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Georgia
drawl so's they don't know."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia
drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100
of them there shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of
them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my
pickup and .."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll are from
Alabama, ain't you?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you
know that?! "

"Because this is a dry-cleaners!"


__________________________________________________ ___________


A man is walkikng home late at night when he hears a woman's voice from the shadows call out, "Twenty bucks?"

The man takes the mystery woman up on the offer. They've been going at it for a few minutes when a polica officer points his flashlight at them and demands to know what's going on.

"Do you mind? I'm making love to my wife," replies the man.

"Sorry," says the cop. "I didn't know."

The man replies, "Neither did I, until you turned on your flashlight.


__________________________________________________ ______________


A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

[PinkTaco04]

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest! with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because! on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s*h*t...

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

[PinkTaco04]

A rich man and a poor man are talking about what they gave their wives for Valentine's Day. The rich man says "I got my wife a Mercedes and a 3 CRT. diamond ring." The poor man says "Why did you get her both?"
"Because if she doesn't like one she always has the other...what did you get your wife?" The poor man replies, "I got her slippers and a dildo." The rich man says "Why did you get her a dildo?" The poor man says, "So if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."


__________________________________________________ ___________________

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by and to the gays' delight she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" one fruitcake says to the other. "All these unhappy children and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now. But just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his ass."

__________________________________________________ ________________

that should hold you over for now, sorry if any are reposts

[Cliff]

so this is why your mom sends you to college

[PinkTaco04]

so this is why your mom sends you to college

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA , YEAP and to drink beer

[PinkTaco04]

gota add this one to the list haha:


A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex.'

'Oh I see,' replied the boys pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package.'

The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.'

'Cool!' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men.' the dad answers, 'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.'

'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........'

[NzProjeKt]

I walked in this thread expecting like 2 or 3 long jokes...
*walks out thread dissapointed*

[PinkTaco04]

well i thought i had only a couple good ones then i kkept finding more so i figured i'd add them for the bored people here

[fawk_you]

Pink taco's cant talk, they just queef. Shut it. :jerkit:

[The Golden Child]

Pink taco's cant talk, they just queef. Shut it. :jerkit:

haha

[Kelly_Rene]

hmm gave me something too read......

j/k i like them

[fawk_you]

haha
;)