mocha latte cupcake
08-26-2009, 04:08 PM
SO here we go on another adventure in JM land, in case this is your first time reading a JM story, here are a few things you need to know.
*ahem*
1) this story is completely true in all shapes, forms, interpretations, and tweets for all you gay twitter supporters.
2) Do not attempt to make sense of 47% of what is said, you'll never get it so just relax and enjoy the show.
3) YES, this really did happen, the special effects in my life are truly epic and i do believe that i'm a canidate for the real life truman show because some days and things that happen to me are just too good for anything but television. I am my own personal hollywood.
4) no animals were harmed in the making of my life thus far and we'll continue to keep it that way.
5) If you've met me, then you know what i'm about to say is the most cruicial part of a JM story. you are about to enter a world where nothing make sense, you're dreams will become realities, and the IA moderator system ACTUALLY makes sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://claire.nu/day/001.jpg
*alarm music*
so here i am @ 6 am. sigh freakin fail! but today is wednesday in my now wonderful 6 day work week. again. fail. but whatever i guess i better get out of bed. so carefully, and cautiously i leaked over to see if the duck was going to waiting to challenge me to another battle.
http://www.batsmeow.com/images/Duck_Blue.jpg
you'll remember him from the previous JM episodes involve the sidekick got purp.
ANYWAYS, the duck wasn't there so i hopped out of bed, only to recieve a head rush like i got suplexed by a russian women in heat. :cry: it sucked because i passed out, and then proceeded to do the same thing again, only this time i fell into my closet. fyi, coat hangers are NOT JM friendly devices, but thank god i have plastic ones.
Metal Hangers
http://earth911.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/metal-clothes-hangers-300x300.jpg = http://www.wvnn.com/upload/fredshowbits/clinton.jpg
plastic hangers
http://www.eventsct.com/images/hanger.jpg = http://www.hi-net.zaq.ne.jp/foliage/antiques/img/snuggle.jpg
'nuf said.
after i recovered from the closet incident (ha ha ha jm said he came out of the closet) :2up: STFU this is my story! i decided it was time to get my stretch on, well b/c if you don't stretch you end up old, fat, and unflexible. much like...
http://www.lol101.com/Funny_Pictures/6352/Fat_man_236WFI.jpg
so after i get done with my morning routine, i decided that now.... its time. :ninja: for some sexy S2k morning slide manuevers! :bump:
cause s2k's bring teh beaches.
http://px6.streetfire.net/0001/09/02/1289020_600.jpg
boom full slide RS*R drift battle armor transformation!
http://image.hondatuningmagazine.com/f/9076961/0704_ht_01_z+RSR_honda_s2000+drift.jpg
sliding around traffic effortlessly, chuki dori into the traffic circle, careful careful carry the drift!!!!!!!!!!!!!! clutch kick! boom perfect apex to the exit of the traffic circle but watch the switch back! care of the koala!
http://philsland.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/baby_koala_yawn.jpg
my drift had reached such epic proportions that i had been careless with my overpowering pavement melting awesometude! i set fire to abu dhabi :cry: i'm sorry, but it was a small price to pay for epic drift. the farm animals lost due to awesometube.
http://www.californianews.com/new/contents/media/images/9BagdadFires2.jpg
as i crest over the hill i could see what appeared to be 2 old men sitting @ a stop sign chatting through their fish jar colored windows. I blew past them popping vtak as the intake rawr'd in their hearing aid infested ears. (no offense dp)
well i cruise into the stop light just over the bridge only to see 4 hids starring brightly in my rear view and a slight growl coming up from behind. now what i say growl i don't mean...
http://imagecache5.art.com/p/LRG/8/871/TE6J000Z/massy-major-general-woof.jpg
and no i don't mean
http://www.pelsor.com/mullet/camaro1.jpg either.
what i mean is this....
http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/B/bmw/z4/03-large/06-uk-z4m-coupe-f3q-s.jpg
accompanied by old man #2 in this...
http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/2823/221/32055110151_large.jpg
INTERMISSION:
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t1/techadwick721/random/0015jpg.jpg
and
http://www.thesunblog.com/frosting/laulau.jpg
so now i'm in a sandwich of power, with nothing but some worn sticky tires, Mad vtax, and 2 old men reliving the glory days of street racing in their upped boosted Solstice, and a mother fawkin Z4 M coupe with a nasty tone to its german splikity splack.
http://seiryuulostmymusic.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/facepalm.jpg
wtf did i do wrong this morning. the ride in is supposed to be nice and leisurely. the top is down, the music is nice and bumpin, the weather is a crisp 70 degrees with a chance of sexy topless weather. now i have only 2 options here...
1) punk out like a bitch, put the top up, turn the music down, roll the windows up and ease off the line knowing i have 0 chance in this race. :no:
or... my personal favorite.
2) music up, seat adjusted, drop the shades, rev the engine, wait for that glorious green light to appear like lime jello under a spot light of molten rubber sex!
well.....
i ain't goin out like a ho on a saturday night lookin to get f*^Ked i'm gettin me some!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REV 5.5k gear 1 in, clutch primed, 1 for the money 2 for them ho's 3 for the skeet skeet and 4 beaches here we GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
http://community.fxuk.com/blogs/fox_insider/ABC%20Greenlight.jpg
tires give a quick spin and i got the jump, thats about all i'm going to have but i can hear that soltice spinnin those cute little ecstas all the way across the white line enjoying that rev limiter a little too much :taun:
http://image.automotive.com/f/projectbuild/8944622+pheader/hrdp_0607_01_z+v8_pontiac_solstice_road_test+big_b urnout.jpg
that BMW though i honestly have to say.... was asleep. i got 2 cars, old man solstice was spinnin like a dradle on christmas day, and Bmw guy had to have skipped his 1 a day mens... but that didn't last long...
9000 rpm shift! solstice is gettin his traction back.... 40ish mph. nothing special but heres about where i get my ass handed too me, and sure enough.
SUM BISH!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/Trinity_explosion.jpg
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://larvalsubjects.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/explosion-in-space-wallpaper.jpg
THAT GOT DAMN M COUPE TOLD ME I COULD EAT A DICK, SUCK SOME KRAUT, AND BATHE IN SOY SAUCE CAUSE HE WAS THE GOT DANG MAN..... all in german too! but i have to admit something... i wasn't sad, infact its the first time i've seen an M coupe in action... and it made me happy in the pants
...
you honestly thought there was going to be a picture of happy pants didn't you.... homo.
anyways, since the BMW checked out and i was still drivin like i was steve mcqueen-toshiyama in muh S2k i looked back to see yep... you guessed it... solstice, except this wasn't regular solstice... this was btw, i banged your friend sister last night, and by friend sister i mean your sister, and when i say sister, i mean mom. eat my BALL BEARINGS HONDA! compressor like a MOTHER in my ear! i've got the Honda screamin @ 8.2k in 3rd gear, music pumped to deaf people levels, and all i hear is
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUT THE F^*@K UP HONDA! from what i can only hope was something bigger than a GT30R up in that piece, my world went silent... i lost. :cry:
but i didn't just lose it was like watching from a 3rd person point of birds eye aerial view. it was like watching someone kick your puppy and then eat your last ice cream sandwich.... :cry:
i now know how nick cannon feels every morning he wakes up... cause seriously...
http://www.n8-hofflander.com/LHS/GrantDavidTopfive/images/You%20Got%20Served%202.jpg
however there is a happy ending to this story...
sometime around lunch today i was in walmart... and this hottie college chick had a oops my nipple slipped moment :lmfao: it made things a little better. but the moral of the story here really is... old people can still get down and drive when they want too... except brett. he's afraid of 6th gear or 50 mph. whichever comes first. :lmfao: the end :D
*ahem*
1) this story is completely true in all shapes, forms, interpretations, and tweets for all you gay twitter supporters.
2) Do not attempt to make sense of 47% of what is said, you'll never get it so just relax and enjoy the show.
3) YES, this really did happen, the special effects in my life are truly epic and i do believe that i'm a canidate for the real life truman show because some days and things that happen to me are just too good for anything but television. I am my own personal hollywood.
4) no animals were harmed in the making of my life thus far and we'll continue to keep it that way.
5) If you've met me, then you know what i'm about to say is the most cruicial part of a JM story. you are about to enter a world where nothing make sense, you're dreams will become realities, and the IA moderator system ACTUALLY makes sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://claire.nu/day/001.jpg
*alarm music*
so here i am @ 6 am. sigh freakin fail! but today is wednesday in my now wonderful 6 day work week. again. fail. but whatever i guess i better get out of bed. so carefully, and cautiously i leaked over to see if the duck was going to waiting to challenge me to another battle.
http://www.batsmeow.com/images/Duck_Blue.jpg
you'll remember him from the previous JM episodes involve the sidekick got purp.
ANYWAYS, the duck wasn't there so i hopped out of bed, only to recieve a head rush like i got suplexed by a russian women in heat. :cry: it sucked because i passed out, and then proceeded to do the same thing again, only this time i fell into my closet. fyi, coat hangers are NOT JM friendly devices, but thank god i have plastic ones.
Metal Hangers
http://earth911.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/metal-clothes-hangers-300x300.jpg = http://www.wvnn.com/upload/fredshowbits/clinton.jpg
plastic hangers
http://www.eventsct.com/images/hanger.jpg = http://www.hi-net.zaq.ne.jp/foliage/antiques/img/snuggle.jpg
'nuf said.
after i recovered from the closet incident (ha ha ha jm said he came out of the closet) :2up: STFU this is my story! i decided it was time to get my stretch on, well b/c if you don't stretch you end up old, fat, and unflexible. much like...
http://www.lol101.com/Funny_Pictures/6352/Fat_man_236WFI.jpg
so after i get done with my morning routine, i decided that now.... its time. :ninja: for some sexy S2k morning slide manuevers! :bump:
cause s2k's bring teh beaches.
http://px6.streetfire.net/0001/09/02/1289020_600.jpg
boom full slide RS*R drift battle armor transformation!
http://image.hondatuningmagazine.com/f/9076961/0704_ht_01_z+RSR_honda_s2000+drift.jpg
sliding around traffic effortlessly, chuki dori into the traffic circle, careful careful carry the drift!!!!!!!!!!!!!! clutch kick! boom perfect apex to the exit of the traffic circle but watch the switch back! care of the koala!
http://philsland.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/baby_koala_yawn.jpg
my drift had reached such epic proportions that i had been careless with my overpowering pavement melting awesometude! i set fire to abu dhabi :cry: i'm sorry, but it was a small price to pay for epic drift. the farm animals lost due to awesometube.
http://www.californianews.com/new/contents/media/images/9BagdadFires2.jpg
as i crest over the hill i could see what appeared to be 2 old men sitting @ a stop sign chatting through their fish jar colored windows. I blew past them popping vtak as the intake rawr'd in their hearing aid infested ears. (no offense dp)
well i cruise into the stop light just over the bridge only to see 4 hids starring brightly in my rear view and a slight growl coming up from behind. now what i say growl i don't mean...
http://imagecache5.art.com/p/LRG/8/871/TE6J000Z/massy-major-general-woof.jpg
and no i don't mean
http://www.pelsor.com/mullet/camaro1.jpg either.
what i mean is this....
http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/B/bmw/z4/03-large/06-uk-z4m-coupe-f3q-s.jpg
accompanied by old man #2 in this...
http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/2823/221/32055110151_large.jpg
INTERMISSION:
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t1/techadwick721/random/0015jpg.jpg
and
http://www.thesunblog.com/frosting/laulau.jpg
so now i'm in a sandwich of power, with nothing but some worn sticky tires, Mad vtax, and 2 old men reliving the glory days of street racing in their upped boosted Solstice, and a mother fawkin Z4 M coupe with a nasty tone to its german splikity splack.
http://seiryuulostmymusic.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/facepalm.jpg
wtf did i do wrong this morning. the ride in is supposed to be nice and leisurely. the top is down, the music is nice and bumpin, the weather is a crisp 70 degrees with a chance of sexy topless weather. now i have only 2 options here...
1) punk out like a bitch, put the top up, turn the music down, roll the windows up and ease off the line knowing i have 0 chance in this race. :no:
or... my personal favorite.
2) music up, seat adjusted, drop the shades, rev the engine, wait for that glorious green light to appear like lime jello under a spot light of molten rubber sex!
well.....
i ain't goin out like a ho on a saturday night lookin to get f*^Ked i'm gettin me some!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REV 5.5k gear 1 in, clutch primed, 1 for the money 2 for them ho's 3 for the skeet skeet and 4 beaches here we GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
http://community.fxuk.com/blogs/fox_insider/ABC%20Greenlight.jpg
tires give a quick spin and i got the jump, thats about all i'm going to have but i can hear that soltice spinnin those cute little ecstas all the way across the white line enjoying that rev limiter a little too much :taun:
http://image.automotive.com/f/projectbuild/8944622+pheader/hrdp_0607_01_z+v8_pontiac_solstice_road_test+big_b urnout.jpg
that BMW though i honestly have to say.... was asleep. i got 2 cars, old man solstice was spinnin like a dradle on christmas day, and Bmw guy had to have skipped his 1 a day mens... but that didn't last long...
9000 rpm shift! solstice is gettin his traction back.... 40ish mph. nothing special but heres about where i get my ass handed too me, and sure enough.
SUM BISH!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/Trinity_explosion.jpg
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://larvalsubjects.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/explosion-in-space-wallpaper.jpg
THAT GOT DAMN M COUPE TOLD ME I COULD EAT A DICK, SUCK SOME KRAUT, AND BATHE IN SOY SAUCE CAUSE HE WAS THE GOT DANG MAN..... all in german too! but i have to admit something... i wasn't sad, infact its the first time i've seen an M coupe in action... and it made me happy in the pants
...
you honestly thought there was going to be a picture of happy pants didn't you.... homo.
anyways, since the BMW checked out and i was still drivin like i was steve mcqueen-toshiyama in muh S2k i looked back to see yep... you guessed it... solstice, except this wasn't regular solstice... this was btw, i banged your friend sister last night, and by friend sister i mean your sister, and when i say sister, i mean mom. eat my BALL BEARINGS HONDA! compressor like a MOTHER in my ear! i've got the Honda screamin @ 8.2k in 3rd gear, music pumped to deaf people levels, and all i hear is
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUT THE F^*@K UP HONDA! from what i can only hope was something bigger than a GT30R up in that piece, my world went silent... i lost. :cry:
but i didn't just lose it was like watching from a 3rd person point of birds eye aerial view. it was like watching someone kick your puppy and then eat your last ice cream sandwich.... :cry:
i now know how nick cannon feels every morning he wakes up... cause seriously...
http://www.n8-hofflander.com/LHS/GrantDavidTopfive/images/You%20Got%20Served%202.jpg
however there is a happy ending to this story...
sometime around lunch today i was in walmart... and this hottie college chick had a oops my nipple slipped moment :lmfao: it made things a little better. but the moral of the story here really is... old people can still get down and drive when they want too... except brett. he's afraid of 6th gear or 50 mph. whichever comes first. :lmfao: the end :D