F My Life

[FTMFW]

Post up your favorite quote(s) from fmylife.com

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

Edit: Or if you have one of your own it would be more interesting.

[15degvee]

That site is fucking LOL

[90_ACCORD]

haha i love that second one

[15degvee]

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

[90_ACCORD]

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

[15degvee]

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

[FTMFW]

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

I don't get it..? :thinking:

[90_ACCORD]

I don't get it..? :thinking:

is it talking about her health insurance?

not car insurance like most would think

[90_ACCORD]

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

[G.C]

lol nice.

[FTMFW]

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

LOLOL nice one.

[FTMFW]

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee22/juggalo9785/dear-life-fuck-you.gif
..

[15degvee]

I don't get it..? :thinking:

She had to essplain to her mum she was doing some IDB and broke out...

[FTMFW]

She had to essplain to her mum she was doing some IDB and broke out...

"explain"

Gotchya :goodjob:

[Friggintitsman]

I have no lol from this

[FTMFW]

I have no lol from this

Fuck yo "lol" nagger

[isa2o3]

today i went to a 2 hour conference of the Aflac company to seek internship. turned out i didnt need to be there. all i had to do is apply online ans read their company policies online. fml

[Master Shake]

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

[15degvee]

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

That + you username and sig pic = :lmfao::lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:

[FTMFW]

That + you username and sig pic = :lmfao::lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:

LMFAO, damn that's fucked up in so many different ways.

http://readingwritingliving.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/rice.jpg

[Master Shake]

That + you username and sig pic = :lmfao::lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:dude, you're a jew.
:yes:

[15degvee]

dude, you're a jew.
:yes:

it was a coincidence :dunno:

[AnthonyF]

some of them are funny, but sound very fake.

-Ant.

[AnthonyF]

LOLOL THIS HAS TO BE TRUE for some. lol

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

-Ant.

[Kevykev]

Funny ones in there

[Dr.G35]

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
lol

[dabuilding]

MOAR!!!

[87 Turbo II]

Today, I walked into my room to find my mom had made my bed and done my laundry, for which I thanked her with a hug. I laid down on the bed, stretched out my arms and realized my vibrator was still under the pillow where I had left it. FML

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

[Tech5]

lololol

[ztastic]

hahahah

[umairejaz]

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML


LOLOL!