Some kid offed himself online today

[Friggintitsman]

There is a video that goes along with the story, but I don't think I will post it.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112065561

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<!-- icon and title --> The Note
<hr style="color: rgb(209, 209, 225);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> To Whom It May Concern,
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on.
I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me
reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am
an a@#hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never
change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am
not good enough for her. I have come
to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I
keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in
the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling
me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I
dread, besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer. I do not want
my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me
to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I
thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I
am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every
new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give
me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think
that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I?m always broke
and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that?s about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I
am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am
tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I
hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I
screwed up my own life.
The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or
those who have crossed my path.
This hate rages full force towards me and only me.
I have long forgiven those who've hurt me, but I have not and cannot
come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and
the things I've done to hurt those in my life.
You have all touched my life in one way or another,
especially those whom I call family.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I
hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as way for me not
suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at
rest with the guilt that constantly ate at me for so long.
Please forgive me all for taking my own life so early. I tried so hard
to fight against this strong battle. I have reached out for help so many
times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did,
that it is a punishment I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am
has only brought myself and others pain.
I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created.
Forgive me.
Love always and forever,
As for my signature I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone
reads this they will know it's me, "Can?t feel pain if your dead? Just Saying"
<!-- / message --> <!-- sig --> __________________
When I'm in a rock band, I'm gonna do a cool, mellow song. Then in the middle I'll stop, announce "This part is just to be an ******* to people playing Guitar Hero," and then fail wildly on the strings for 30 seconds


Miscer Black Ops - Code Name Junkie

[Friggintitsman]

I for one have no sympathy for someone that commits suicide. I just think it's pretty messed up he decided to do it over the internet.

[redrumracer]

where is the vid

[TheGodfather]

Wtf is your sig?

[quickdodge®]

I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in
the past.

Daamn. Not only, by his summarizing, is his life a complete failure, he even failed at taking it away. Damn.

But at least he finally succeeded at something. Later, QD.

[Friggintitsman]

where is the vid

Check your reps

[EJ25RUN]

Daamn. Not only, by his summarizing, is his life a complete failure, he even failed at taking it away. Damn.

But at least he finally succeeded at something. Later, QD.

No one is safe. HAHA

[Friggintitsman]

Wtf is your sig?

It's from the movie Idiocracy

See it

[Double_0_Rusty]

Damn........what a self-centered jerk.

[Scotsman]

where is the vidx2:goodjob:

[Friggintitsman]

Ok I will post the vid..... it isn't anything but the cops rolling up on his dead carcass

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=espzsh&s=4

[Kevykev]

Obama has the vid.

[DeeAOne]

Daamn. Not only, by his summarizing, is his life a complete failure, he even failed at taking it away. Damn.

But at least he finally succeeded at something. Later, QD.:lmao: i feel im going to hell now. you can make a joke on just about anything and it be hilarious.


QD made me lirl in a damn suicide thread...

[bowdown201]

damn

[quickdodge®]

Daamn. Not only, by his summarizing, is his life a complete failure, he even failed at taking it away. Damn.

But at least he finally succeeded at something. Later, QD.

How the fuck is he going to sit and say he had a failed life? What kind of selfish bullshit is that? I don't know him in real life, but I clicked on the link to his thread and ran the cursor across his reputation bar. According to it, he "has a reputation beyond repute. Best rank possible!" Did he not know that you could look at the saying that coincides with your reps to give you life-altering and adjusting prophecies? I mean it didn't say "Ban him. From life." Motherfuck. Later, QD.

[SloWRX]

lmfao at the guy who recorded the video

[Friggintitsman]

lmfao at the guy who recorded the video

It was on JustinTV

So he recorded it on his web cam

[stephanie]

thats messed up

[Friggintitsman]

LMAO at this comment

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=247627061&postcount=13

[Schugg]

what a dumbass, someone rep me the video. only thing im sad about is missing the video. sure i feel bad someone got so emo with their self that to took it to that extent, but there is other options.

[Scotsman]

LMAO at this comment

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=247627061&postcount=13i lirl when i read that:goodjob:

[Friggintitsman]

i lirl when i read that:goodjob:

I probably would have said the same thing.

[Fr33way]

Just dumb. No sympathy at all for someone like that.

[Double_0_Rusty]

That shit is serious. Dumb move on his part, and I only feel for his family and friends. Very sad.

[SloWRX]

hope he left atleast $6000 to cover the funeral... what a dumbass

[DrivenMind]

What kind of cop throws a dainty ass 2x4 for a corpse?

How did he die?

I'm assuming he overdosed on something since he's not hanging from the ceiling, and his grey matter isn't decorating his walls.

[SloWRX]

What kind of cop throws a dainty ass 2x4 for a corpse?

How did he die?

I'm assuming he overdosed on something since he's not hanging from the ceiling, and his grey matter isn't decorating his walls.

they didnt throw it at him, its just debris flying from the cops knocking down the door. atleast thats what the guy that recorded the video said lol

and yea, he OD

[FlipKing]

said he took like 8 bars of xanax. They watched him for like 8 hours until a mod got his info and called the cops to notify them of the OD. Kid doesnt move when the door is kicked in. You see the sun come up on the video. They are calling his cell and he isnt anwsering, but no news stories yet.

[FlipKing]

BTW I thought all black people were really happy b-c Obama got elected? lol

[Friggintitsman]

Oh boy you mean there is a full video out there?

[FlipKing]

Yes, I skipped through 5 pages at the time and skimmed through. Guy took screen shots 5 hours apart and the kid never moves. They say he stopped breathing about 5:30. Damn crinkles in his shirt are exactly the same

[RL...]

lol enough said

[TheGodfather]

Yes, I skipped through 5 pages at the time and skimmed through. Guy took screen shots 5 hours apart and the kid never moves. They say he stopped breathing about 5:30. Damn crinkles in his shirt are exactly the same

Link to vid?

[SloWRX]

http://www.justin.tv/clip/7b928d510bb0eb7c

[FlipKing]

Only vid I watched was the one that Friggen posted up. I dont have the link to the entire vid. Seems real though. idk.

[Psycho]

I feel bad for the kid, even if he did take his own life.

For all you criticizers; It's easy to speak poorly of someone else's actions, and say you could have done better. But you never know how it really is, until you walk a mile in their shoes.

[osnap]

fucking sad.

[FlipKing]

Ehh, I usually take the family's view more b-c my brother's gf commited suicide. Fuck the selfish bitches. I had to go back to that house and watch my brother see the fan she hung herself from for the first time. I had to watch him try to tear the fan out of the ceiling. I had to hear stories about how my nephew went to her work a week later and ran around the store calling her name b-c he handnt seen her and missed her. FUCK people that commit suicide and do that to their families.

[americanctm]

very sad... not much else to say

[alpine_aw11]

The guy may have been a failure/douchebag, but it's never good to see something like this happen. Sucks for his family and friends(if he had any) if anything. I would never put the people I'm close to through that no matter how big of a piece of shit I became.

[thecrazyone]

shit just got REAL!

[Papa_Smurf]

i wanna see said video.

[Buttons]

I'm not sure if this is right, but i thought you shit yourself when you die? I watching a movie and what not. I don't know, lol.

internet is serious business. poor kid.

[SiRed94]

I'm surprised nobody on IA has pulled this stunt yet.

[OneSlow5pt0]

I'm surprised nobody on IA has pulled this stunt yet.

keyword

[Barefoot]

fuck i missed it

[§treet_§peed]

:stupid: i'm going to counseling now so i don't try to OD again...flame me if you want but atleast im trying to do better now

[SicStang03]

Original thread by deceased:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112065561

Guy who knows him:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112077871

Background info:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=112077641

Video:
http://www.justin.tv/clip/7b928d510bb0eb7c


Search those threads for myspace links ect...

[§treet_§peed]

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=206599326

[§treet_§peed]

there i posted it that is his and apparently according from everything i read he really did kick the bucket. and another thing i gathered from looking thru his myspace he was fairly wealthy

[PRiMAdonna]

i dont get why his roommates or the person who video recorded that didnt call the police? isnt that illegal? they just sat there for 8 hours while he died? i dont get it.

[FlipKing]

He apparently said he was commiting suicide like 5 times before. No one believed he did it. Eventually a mod from the site did call the police. just much too late.

[§treet_§peed]

^ yeah by the time the cops got there he had been dead for quite some time. i dunno tho i used to eat Xanax bars like candy and mix them with liquor everyday for about a year straight and i never od. i guess i just got used to them cause i never lost track of time or forgot anything.

[FlipKing]

he took 3-4 other drugs too. They say you can see him stop breathing about 5-6

[§treet_§peed]

yeah he had roxanol (SP?) thats the generic form of oxycotton or mophine i can't remember and ultrame he said he had something else left but didn't say he had takin it.. either way i bet he was fucked outta his gord til he passed out..

[§treet_§peed]

either way i think some one still should of called the cops sooner. atleast he wasn't like that emo bitch that was posted on here a while ago. he actually did it...

[SicStang03]

i dont get why his roommates or the person who video recorded that didnt call the police? isnt that illegal? they just sat there for 8 hours while he died? i dont get it.

Nobody sat there and recorded it. He had his webcam record it through some website to feed it live.

That song playing on his myspace is a Christian song. Out of everything I have gathered, he doesn't seem to be the type to off himself.

Here is his last blog entry on Myspace:

I’ve finally gotten closuer

I can honestly say I've finally closed a chapter in my life that tonight that ended a long time ago. For my closest friends you know who exactly I'm talking about, but I guess it really does take that last kiss goodbye till you finally turn your back on someone and not even think of looking back.


I also want to take time to apologize to those "fillers" that took a chance with me, God knows you all deserve a medal for even attempting to put up with half my bullshit.
So I liked to thank all of you, Erika (I know I lied to you and played with you, my fault), Aylessa (I know I treated you worst then dirt something, yet you were always there when I told you something was wrong), Mayra (I know you don't totally forgive me, but thats okay, your still there when I need someone to text at 2 in the morning), Fredericka (With you it seems like I lost something really golden, hell you know my mom is constantly asking me when I'm going to talk to you again, my family really does love you, and I know at the moment you probably still hate me but yeah I see where I did you wrong.
)

This part goes out to Juan and Esfania, my BFFsizzle and future (but not anytime soon) wife.
Juan your my best friend but in a totally hetro way your sorta my hero, I mean you take shit in stride and you taught me when I'm upset just go kill hookers... In grand theft auto.

Estania you are a great mother (and MILF) and one of the sweetest people I've ever had to pleasure to call my friend. You seem like the one girl I can just lay in the same bed and talk for hours and we keep it G rated (No homo), and yes one day I will put a ring on it.


And the girl who won't be named, right now your mad and texting me asking me why I'm blocking you out of my life, but I see you moving on and that's all good, I want you happy and as childish as it seems I don't wanna be at your wedding, and if your as over me as you keep making it a point to tell me this shouldn't bother you at all.


Good Night Myspacer, I think I'm gonna go in at only 1:29 AM

[§treet_§peed]

hell this some i took 20 footballs an drunk a liter of crown by myself in under a hour... i was totally fucked up for the night and then when i went to sleep that night i woke up fucked lol

[§treet_§peed]

either way atleast he is at peace now.. R.I.P.

[§treet_§peed]

not changing the subject but i guess he did the same thing i intended to do. i wrote out letters to those closest. told my mom how to get my 8k out of my savings account to pay for whatever but i failed... i puked later on after trying... either way people really should seek help for this. im trying...if i can anyone can, i hate the fucking doctors today i think they are a bigger fucking waste of money and time than illegals.

[FlipKing]

I stand by my orginal paragraph

[§treet_§peed]

anyone ever herd this song? it speaks the truth


When we were young the future was so bright (whoa)
The old neighborhood was so alive (whoa)
And every kid on the whole damn street (whoa)
was gonna make it big in every beat.

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn (whoa)
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn(whoa)
How can one little street
Swallow so many lives?

Chorus:
Chances thrown
Nothing's free
Longing for
What used to be
Still it's hard
Hard to see
Fragile lives
Shattered dreams

Go!

Jamie had a chance, well she really did (whoa)
Instead she dropped out and had a couple of kids (whoa)
Mark still lives at home cause he's got no job (whoa)
He just plays guitar, smokes a lot of pot

Jay committed suicide (whoa)
Brandon OD'd and died (whoa)
What the hell is going on?
Cruellest dream, reality

Chances blown, nothing's free
Longing for what used to be
Still, it's hard, hard to see
Fragile lives, shattered dreams

Go!

Chances blown, nothing's free
Longing for what used to be
Still, it's hard, hard to see
Fragile lives, shattered dreams

[§treet_§peed]

The lyrics are inspired by a visit Dexter Holland made to his old neighborhood, Garden Grove in Orange County, California. Seeing that most of his friends met tragedy (car accident, nervous breakdown), he wrote the song that details the ruined lives of a group of childhood friends. The four kids—Jamie, Mark, Jay, and Brandon—all had the potential to have extraordinary lives but each of them ended up throwing it away in a different fashion (Jamie "had a chance well she really did", but she dropped out of school, got pregnant and had a couple of kids, Mark stays home playing guitar and smoking a lot of pot, Jay committed suicide, Brandon "OD'd and died").

This fits well with the concept of the album: unpleasant realities of American life. In this case, children are promised they are growing up to a future of unlimited potential, but in reality, most of that potential is never realized.

[SicStang03]

They took all the videos down

[§treet_§peed]

they should to show some respect for the kid i mean i sorta feel bad for watching them now.. like i said R.I.P.

[GodSon]

Extremely sad.....guy must have been battling some serious demons.

R.I.P. Candy Junkie.

[quickdodge®]

But you never know how it really is, until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Some of us may have. Me for example. I've probably walked more than a mile in his shoes. Later, QD.

[Friggintitsman]

Some of us may have. Me for example. I've probably walked more than a mile in his shoes. Later, QD.

QFT
People don't understand how bad life can get until they live in harsh times. Life is hard get over it. The point of a struggle is to get through it and live to fight the next battle. To sympathize for someone that is weak is beyond me. So he was 19 years old and barely even gave himself a chance in life and already he decided to kill himself. There are so many reasons why I just don't feel sorry for the guy.

[OnURleft]

where is the vid


hahahah

[OnURleft]

Anyone have a link to the video's even though they've been taken down from the original site?

[§treet_§peed]

alll the vid shows his him laying on the bed as the cops bust in.. nothing else

[Psycho]

Some of us may have. Me for example. I've probably walked more than a mile in his shoes. Later, QD.
I don't know anything about your life, or his. So I can't really compare the two. But sometimes people just can't find the strength to pull through their problems anymore. Regardless of whether or not you agree with how the kid handled things, you should always have respect for the dead. We all gotta go sometime, death is the one sure thing life. I have respect for the kid, and I hope people will do the same for me when it's my time to go.

[FlipKing]

Please read aforemention paragraph. We all gotta go sometime, but that doesnt mean we should kill our selves and do that to our family.

[Friggintitsman]

http://www.mediatakeout.com/2008/28391-shocker_man_is_taunted_into_committing_suicide__by _people_on_a_message_board.html

[quickdodge®]

I don't know anything about your life, or his. So I can't really compare the two. But sometimes people just can't find the strength to pull through their problems anymore. Regardless of whether or not you agree with how the kid handled things, you should always have respect for the dead. We all gotta go sometime, death is the one sure thing life. I have respect for the kid, and I hope people will do the same for me when it's my time to go.

I haven't been to the lowest of lows, but I can take a good guess that I've ran into much harder times than he has. I mean at 19, he really didn't have time to have a fucked up life so bad that he had to kill himself. I spent two years living, literally, on Buford Hwy and Peachtree St. No home. No roof. No food. No money. Nothing but my clothes. There's more that would make his life seem like a cakewalk, but I won't get into that. From my understanding, he (parents) was rich. He went to really good schools. Seems, from reading things, that his complaints were very trivial and a very stupid reason to put your family through such heartache. People don't like me? The fuck kind of reasoning is that to kill yourself? I love this girl but she doesn't return the feeling? Come on?

You and I are straight cool and shit, but I gotta disagree with you 100%. I have no respect for people who take themselves out. Later, QD.

[ahmonrah]

Some of us may have. Me for example. I've probably walked more than a mile in his shoes. Later, QD.yep. i can agree with that one whole heartedly. but the inability to give up is strength. seen and been through enough in a lifetime to make some people fuckin nuts. but quiting on life? not an option...

[Friggintitsman]

I don't know anything about your life, or his. So I can't really compare the two. But sometimes people just can't find the strength to pull through their problems anymore. Regardless of whether or not you agree with how the kid handled things, you should always have respect for the dead. We all gotta go sometime, death is the one sure thing life. I have respect for the kid, and I hope people will do the same for me when it's my time to go.

You know what fuck that.
You go to combat and see and do the shit I've done. You get bombed and shot at almost every day. You try waking up in middle of the night and see someone standing over you about with a knife about to stab you to death only to blink and and realize they were never there. Try seeing people you know die. Try working long days only to get off of work to a cold meal and a even colder shower. On top of all that your girlfriend is at home fucking your best friend. Try hoping every day that next IED takes your life so that you don't have to live to see the next day. Yeah I lived it. Let this poor schmuck walk a mile in those shoes and tell me his problems were so bad. Not a day went by I didn't think about killing myself, but I didn't. Yes I wanted to die, but not by my own hands. I would never go out like that.

Sorry to go off like that, but now maybe you can see why I have no sympathy. Weakness is all it is. It's those kinds of hardships that make you stronger. If you can't survive adolescence then you really maybe suicide isn't such a bad option, because life doens't get any easier as you get older.

[jR1_kS14]

I'm a member of that forum...

the site is not working today. I think the cops might be investigating it..

Someone had PMed a moderator about getting help to this guy. The mod was ROXIE and her response is that he was an attention whore just looking for more attention, and she blew it off. But he really is dead. I did some investigating with his myspace friends, and no one could reach him....

I've read some of his threads about taking a lot of pills. Sometimes he would take 20 xanax pills and make threads about it. he also got kicked out of his dads house. I think he has a wife and a kid too...

[FlipKing]

He also acted like he was going to commit suicide several times. Still a bitch for doing that to his familiy and friends

[OneSlow5pt0]

You know what fuck that.
You go to combat and see and do the shit I've done. You get bombed and shot at almost every day. You try waking up in middle of the night and see someone standing over you about with a knife about to stab you to death only to blink and and realize they were never there. Try seeing people you know die. Try working long days only to get off of work to a cold meal and a even colder shower. On top of all that your girlfriend is at home fucking your best friend. Try hoping every day that next IED takes your life so that you don't have to live to see the next day. Yeah I lived it. Let this poor schmuck walk a mile in those shoes and tell me his problems were so bad. Not a day went by I didn't think about killing myself, but I didn't. Yes I wanted to die, but not by my own hands. I would never go out like that.

Sorry to go off like that, but now maybe you can see why I have no sympathy. Weakness is all it is. It's those kinds of hardships that make you stronger. If you can't survive adolescence then you really maybe suicide isn't such a bad option, because life doens't get any easier as you get older.

agreed much so,i have not had a easy life,but i never complain bout anything,i think its made me into the person i am today...and a stronger person as u said,sometimes i wonder if i do anything different,now i dont blame anyone or anything,well im not religious so ofcourse i blame no "higher" power.

because of al lthis,i never get mad at people,i never hold grudges,or any of that because life is to short and ive expericed how fast it can be lost 1st hand,so i value everyday i wake up

[SlowsterCivy]

http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/gigaom/media/2008_11_20_19_year_old_commits_suicide_on_justintv .html

*RIP* :(

[SloWRX]

so sad :(


R.I.P

[tron]

damn. rip man

[§treet_§peed]

i'm surprised this thread has not been deleted. all the other threads on other sites pertaining to this are getting deleted left and right

[PRiMAdonna]

I saw this story on the news tonight... his family memebers said that he was bi-polar.. i really hope he doesn't have any kids because that would be terrible.

[Tech5]

dayumm

[§treet_§peed]

he has a son thats like a year old if i am correct. what news station?

[IDCoconut]

edited. link no work

[§treet_§peed]

no thats shitty its only a pic. i posted links to the video and so did a bunch of others but they have all been took off because its not right to watch someone die like that

[Tech5]

dayum!

[§treet_§peed]

now this is plastered on everything. i read an article where the family wanted to sue everyone possible...

[redrumracer]

another post