When Does The Hurting Stop?

[Brett]

I am sitting here looking at my life without Leisa in it.... and when will I come to terms with this? When will I accept it? When will I have someone in my life to be happy with again? When does my life become what I want again?

[dohc4.6sc]

I am sitting here looking at my life without Leisa in it.... and when will I come to terms with this? When will I accept it? When will I have someone in my life to be happy with again? When does my life become what I want again?l
brett to be honest with you, its always been a x2 factor with me. however long i was with a person and they went away/taken from me (parents when i was younger) it took two times as long as i was with them, and im still not over one of them,bro. only time will tell. its really how strong of a person you are. the memories will never fade but you will eventually move on, even if you are 80 love can come your way. no joke.

[Motivation]

Honestly Brett... They say that time heals all wounds. I'll tell you right now, it's a lie... I lost my father about 7 years ago... He was my best friend, I thought I accepted it until I went to the grave site a few weeks ago. It almost killed me thinking back and realizing he was gone... I know this isn't what you wanted to hear/read... But it does get a little easier over time, just never completely heals. You will be happy again man. But just remember, never try to replace the happiness you had before because you will always seem to find fault as why you can't be happy... Be happy with the times you had, and find a new happiness...

[FlipKing]

It wont happen all at once, It will slowly man not all at once. Just keep taking it day by day

[Vteckidd]

its tough and you cant rush things. TIME is the only thing that will make it better.

Cherish the memories you have, cause at the end of the day thats all we have left (cliche but true)

What you have to look for is the new memories you are going to have. The new people you will meet. No one will ever replace leisa, but eventually you will have ultimate closure.

[Brett]

The one thing I know is I will never want anyone to replace Leisa, No one will ever come close to her in my heart, even when/if I meet someone again and get serious with someone, Leisa's place in my heart will never be filled.

It sjust so hard to be alone.... I am not a guy who deals well with being alone, I am happiest when I have someone in my life to share things with, share experiences an dmake memories with, and its hard when you dont have someone to do that with

10 years with Leisa was the best 10 years of my life, now I hate my life

[hydroshutter]

You make threads weekly here. I'd suggest you see a therapist.

[Mr.DA9]

Man im so sorry to hear. But you have to live through it. Its life bro. :( Gl in the future. :D

[Motivation]

You make threads weekly here. I'd suggest you see a therapist.

Why? So a therapist can sit there and listen to him talk while they pretend to care and get paid for it? Then they are going to tell him it's natural and nothing is wrong, while he is out the money he spent on them. They MIGHT give him a line from a book they read while they were in school that they think will fix all problems, just because the book said it...

Sorry, I've just had my fair share of therapist when my dad died... They actually made me look at the situation worse and have more hard feelings towards it... :2cents:

[DrivenMind]

You can't rush the healing man, and coming to terms with grief is always a long process. I lost my dad five years ago, when I was in high school, and I literally just zoned out for about a year. I slept through all my classes, and started racing cars to get a rush, and to take my mind away from what was haunting me. But I learned quickly you can't run from it, and you can't hide from it.

No matter how terrible or uncomfortable it is, death is very much a part of life. In time the shock and sadness will lessen, and you'll be able to fondly remember the memory of the one you lose, and the joy you felt while they were a part of your life. Spend time in the company of the people who care about you, and just take it one day at a time.

I also did the therapy thing for about two years, although I had a pretty good time with it, and learned a lot from my doctor. I'm not going to knock shrinks, because some of them are very very good at what they do. I can give you a recommendation for a very good one if that's something you're interested in.

[90_ACCORD]

sorry about all that man. theres really nothing you can do to make this go by any faster or easier. In time everything will be ok. Every day is going to seem like an eternity but one day everything will be ok.

[Brett]

Yeah, because that's exactly what all therapists everywhere in the profession do. I haven't said anything because he wants attention, and these threads he makes weekly get him plenty of it.

Fuck you if you think I make these threads for attention, ALOT of the people on here have been good friends of mine for years so I can be open with what I am feeling. Do not come in here talking shit you have no clue about.

[DrivenMind]

Yeah, because that's exactly what all therapists everywhere in the profession do. I haven't said anything because he wants attention, and these threads he makes weekly get him plenty of it.

He lost is wife bozo. Have you no compassion or empathy? Seriously man, he's trying to cope with a loss in an place with familiar people, where he feels comfortable doing so. Jesus man, way to look like a heartless dick.

[BlueHatch]

it never stops it just changes... in time

[§treet_§peed]

dude shut the fuck up Leisa was bretts life you need to watch it man. ther are alot of people on here twice your size that will do brett a favor and handle you. :goodjob:

[§treet_§peed]

Anyways, i know what you mean Brett. remember i told you i just lost both of my grandparents a couple of months ago about a month and half apart. well monday i lost my job, got down and tryed to od.. i ignored my friends that were trying to help. i just gave up. lucky i hurled my guts up in the middle of the night after i passed out.

[Motivation]

alright everyone... No point in turning this thread into an e-fight...

[§treet_§peed]

i agree just letting JR there kno. Brett has friends that will handle him. not saying im going to but there are others

[Brett]

That I know of for a fact...LOL

But yeah anyways.... Some days are easier than others. Friday was 1 month that she has been gone so it hit me hard this weekend. Still to imagine her not being at my side or laying next to me at night, so hard to accept.

[Vteckidd]

no one wants to be alone, we are all looking for that "someone". But it takes time, thats the one thing you cant rush.

Itll happen all in due time. Wounds heal, and a new life begins.

[§treet_§peed]

^ im trying to learn that.

[Brett]

^^ guess We all are bro ya know?. :)

[BlueHatch]

man yall must have taken that wrong. i meant your perspective changes from sorrow to remembering the good times

[§treet_§peed]

^^ guess We all are bro ya know?. :) yea some people, like me, have to almost od to figure that out :(

[Brett]

None of that was directed to you man

[§treet_§peed]

i know man. i got ya, i just have a fucked up way of dealing with things in my personal life no offense towards you. i thought it hit me about a week after my poppa died. but i was wrong. it hit and when it hit i tryed to die..:(

[Jbauer]

Yeah, because that's exactly what all therapists everywhere in the profession do. I haven't said anything because he wants attention, and these threads he makes weekly get him plenty of it.

You are one stupid pissant fuck.

As for therapists, they are completley useless. Have some respect for yourself and spare yourself the trouble. Why would you take advice on life, from someone employed in a career that has the highest suicide rate? Those guys are a bunch of losers..seriously, who the heck makes a living out of hearing people BS and prescribing the same 3 pills all day and night.
My friend went to a mind. doc. once..he's never been the same after wards. little high school girl ditched him, he was gonna heal..till he went to a psychiatrist..then he started cutting himself and pondering suicide. Idiots tried to load him up full of pills.:2cents:

Things will get better..they have too.

[ahmonrah]

Yeah, because that's exactly what all therapists everywhere in the profession do. I haven't said anything because he wants attention, and these threads he makes weekly get him plenty of it.
bury your wife and see how that shit feels man. brett and leisa have been staples on this site for a long time. theres one joke with most forums that "you dont tell your significant other of the forums your on." but not only was their relationship good enough, they both became staples on this site long before you either joined, or were able to drive period.

AND EVERY OG and other members got to know this couple either in person, or strictly through their constant involvement on this site, and they are the First couple of IA in my book. so for this man to go through what he just has, and post on here for us that are concerned with his welfare after the storm, he can post up 100% of threads in the WL and voice his feelings and it's on the level.

[§treet_§peed]

bury your wife and see how that shit feels man. brett and leisa have been staples on this site for a long time. theres one joke with most forums that "you dont tell your significant other of the forums your on." but not only was their relationship good enough, they both became staples on this site long before you either joined, or were able to drive period.

AND EVERY OG and other members got to know this couple either in person, or strictly through their constant involvement on this site, and they are the First couple of IA in my book. so for this man to go through what he just has, and post on here for us that are concerned with his welfare after the storm, he can post up 100% of threads in the WL and voice his feelings and it's on the level. WERD:goodjob:

[Brett]

bury your wife and see how that shit feels man. brett and leisa have been staples on this site for a long time. theres one joke with most forums that "you dont tell your significant other of the forums your on." but not only was their relationship good enough, they both became staples on this site long before you either joined, or were able to drive period.

AND EVERY OG and other members got to know this couple either in person, or strictly through their constant involvement on this site, and they are the First couple of IA in my book. so for this man to go through what he just has, and post on here for us that are concerned with his welfare after the storm, he can post up 100% of threads in the WL and voice his feelings and it's on the level.

Thanks bro, and no one even saw a thread on the 7th when it marked her 1 month, I lept that bottled up.

[ahmonrah]

Thanks bro, and no one even saw a thread on the 7th when it marked her 1 month, I kept that bottled up. seen it, and the 3 week one too. i understand whats real.

but to somewhat answer your question, though rhetorical as it was, there will come a time when you'll be able to be able to think of her, take a deep breath while looking at either a sunrise/sunset with out a hurting heart.

exactly the date, i can't give, but i know it happens you, and dracc will be able to breathe easier in time. but maintain, your bearings during this process brett, and i dont hand out 10digits randomly either!! keep that in mind...

[A.P. Photography]

It is going to take time Brett. Nothing can heal you overnight but you have a great group of friends here whenever you need us.

[Brett]

I know man, without many of you all i dont think I would have made it this far, some days I just need to vent in here because I dont have anyone in the house to talk to about this.

[Kevykev]

I know the loss is rough, I've lost several people this year. I can only imagine how it is losing a spouse. I know you've been told a lot of comforting things on and off this site but as stated before, the only true healer is TIME! On thing you have to remember is that you are NOT alone and leisa will always love the hell outta you and you did the best you could ever do (ok that was more than one thing).
I wish we were all guaranteed a life when you and the ones you love live together in happiness and all die at he same time @ 100 years old but it's different.

Keep Praying B-Rizzle!

p.s

I will hug you again, then next time i see you. This hug will last at least 10 seconds. I will hold you close. :D

[Brett]

LOL, thanks Kev :)

[hydroshutter]

No ill-will intended, sorry if I came off that way. It's good to have someone to talk to in person, rather than in "posts". I have buried some dear people to me; I'm human, just like you.

Secondly, anyone who's "twice my size" and has a problem, send me a PM.

[Sammich]

time big homie..just time, i know thats been said, but thats all i know, you'll never forget, you will never completely get over the hurt, you gota learn to continue to live on.

not to mention you are white and teh falcons won saturday..so smile

:D

hopefully that really did put a smile on ur face, my favorite racise u

[Brett]

Well I am white, so I have that to be thankful for and the Falcons won Sunday dumb ass :D

Just the past 24 hours have hit me so hard, and I hate how it comes out of nowhere, I hate it!!!

[Sammich]

its cool man, you can make it thru, i personally think you watching leisa go thru what she went thru was the worse, but it may be different in my eyes, cuz i hate to watch someone suffer, na meen? just dont rush into anything, unless u tryna get a booty call

*hopefully a chuckle occured* lol

[Brett]

Sadly enough I think a booty call would help me alot right now, just to take some of this off my mind for a bit, and just to connect with someone even it it is just sexually, its a connection....

[Sammich]

is there a female jailhouse nearby?

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

The one thing I know is I will never want anyone to replace Leisa, No one will ever come close to her in my heart, even when/if I meet someone again and get serious with someone, Leisa's place in my heart will never be filled.

It sjust so hard to be alone.... I am not a guy who deals well with being alone, I am happiest when I have someone in my life to share things with, share experiences an dmake memories with, and its hard when you dont have someone to do that with

10 years with Leisa was the best 10 years of my life, now I hate my life

You are right, Brett. Leisa was one of a kind.

Like I told you on the phone last night before I got choked up and cried - it will never be the same... it takes time and LOTS of it. I walked away from love nearly 2 years ago, and still to this very day it hurts... similar situation, you know what I'm talking about.

Right now, you need friends and family that support and love you.. You need to keep your head up and remember that Leisa is with you forever and always.

:cry:

[Brett]

I know boo, thats why I want to get more time with you all, It helps more than you know. And thank you for listening to my sad story last night baby, I appreciate it.

[Sammich]

I walked away from love nearly 2 years ago, and still to this very day it hurts...

QFTMFT

I LEFT HER CUZ SHE WAS A SMOKER, LOVED HER, HER CHILD AND HER FAMILY, BUT I HAD TO MOVE ON..SORRY..CNT DEAL W/ A SMOKER

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

I know boo, thats why I want to get more time with you all, It helps more than you know. And thank you for listening to my sad story last night baby, I appreciate it.

You know I'm here for you anytime! Anything I can do for a friend, especially one of your stature... You know I love ya!;)

[Jbauer]

anyone who's "twice my size" and has a problem, send me a PM.

DAMN! and you STILL come off like a jerk. :goodjob:

[hydroshutter]

DAMN! and you STILL come off like a jerk. :goodjob:

I'll be happy to explain things via PM, in hopes of not derailing this thread.

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

You are one stupid pissant fuck.

As for therapists, they are completley useless. Have some respect for yourself and spare yourself the trouble. Why would you take advice on life, from someone employed in a career that has the highest suicide rate? Those guys are a bunch of losers..seriously, who the heck makes a living out of hearing people BS and prescribing the same 3 pills all day and night.
My friend went to a mind. doc. once..he's never been the same after wards. little high school girl ditched him, he was gonna heal..till he went to a psychiatrist..then he started cutting himself and pondering suicide. Idiots tried to load him up full of pills.:2cents:

Things will get better..they have too.

Although I do agree with your first thought of hydroshutter being a "stupid pissant fuck," I disagree with saying "mind docs" fuck up people's minds. Do some research on some of those pills they prescribe... They didn't go to school for 6-10 yrs to make people contemplate suicide - that's just your friend's cries for help.... He obviously needs more attention.

Also, I believe it's dentists that have the highest suicide rates.:goodjob:

[Brett]

You know I'm here for you anytime! Anything I can do for a friend, especially one of your stature... You know I love ya!;)

I know boo :)

[hydroshutter]

Although I do agree with your first thought of hydroshutter being a "stupid pissant fuck," I disagree with saying "mind docs" fuck up people's minds. Do some research on some of those pills they prescribe... They didn't go to school for 6-10 yrs to make people contemplate suicide - that's just your friend's cries for help.... He obviously needs more attention.

Also, I believe it's dentists that have the highest suicide rates.:goodjob:

:lmfao:

but you agree with some of my points, and that's all that matters.

[Kevykev]

i got an idea...

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

:lmfao:

but you agree with some of my points, and that's all that matters.

No, I never said I agree with anything that you've said in this thread. I personally think that your post was crude and unacceptable... Sure, you are entitled to your own opinion, but when it comes to the loss of a family member/spouse - obviously, you are clueless....

Why don't you do yourself a favor, much like I just told you in a PM.. keep that shit off the boards.:goodjob:

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

i got an idea...

What up, KEV!!?? How was the honeymoon?



Oh yea - what's your idea?:D

[Brett]

We all need to do a wild wing meet tomorrow night :) Its Tow For Tuesday :D

[Jbauer]

Do some research on some of those pills they prescribe... They didn't go to school for 6-10 yrs to make people contemplate suicide - that's just your friend's cries for help.... He obviously needs more attention.

Yea, my friend took it pretty hard. But the cutting, etc. didn't start until after he went to a doctor. Thats when things just straight plumeted south. He's all better now, but still he's just not the same guy. Those pills made him straight up suicidal and when he stopped (against doctors wishes, after i convinced him that those pills were making him coo coo) all the self abuse stopped along with them and he returned to normal. I've done a little bit of research on those pills, and a lot of them have side effects..like increased thoughts of suicide and self inflicted pain being one of them. I dunno...I just can't with a clear concience tell anyone to go to a psychiatrist.

[Kevykev]

What up, KEV!!?? How was the honeymoon?



Oh yea - what's your idea?:D

Don't worry about my idea, it's not appropriate :lmfao:

Honeymoon was Mind-Bottling :D it was GRRRREAT, Beautiful Experience.

Thanks for asking y0!

[§treet_§peed]

No ill-will intended, sorry if I came off that way. It's good to have someone to talk to in person, rather than in "posts". I have buried some dear people to me; I'm human, just like you.

Secondly, anyone who's "twice my size" and has a problem, send me a PM. you really must not read the other post. when did i say i was the one that would handle you? i didn't and as far as that pm you sent me goes... who cares?

[Brett]

Tiffany, Thanks babe for talking to me last night, I am so sorry I was such a mess last night, but you helped alot. I dont think I have cried as much as I did last night since the first week she passed.

I think today may be a better day, and atleast tonight is the Wild Wing Meet so that will keep me laughing tonight to :)

[Tiff-O-Bitties]

Tiffany, Thanks babe for talking to me last night, I am so sorry I was such a mess last night, but you helped alot. I dont think I have cried as much as I did last night since the first week she passed.

I think today may be a better day, and atleast tonight is the Wild Wing Meet so that will keep me laughing tonight to :)

Sure Brett.. Sorry, I ended up getting on the phone for like 2 hours! I figured you were asleep by the time I hung up...

But on a serious note.. I will let you have my babies!:idb: :eek:

[Brett]

... or atleast practice makin 'em!! :lmfao: