Obama Jokes...you know you want to.

[speedminded]

Don't deny it, we've all practically been getting a joke text an hour for the past couple days. Why not put them all here :tongue:

[BlueHatch]

**grabs popcorn*

[Deke]

we've all practically been getting a joke text an hour for the past couple days

We have? :???:

[Double_0_Rusty]

Fuck it, i'll be the brave one....

"Attention all white people.....report to the cotton fields tomorrow at 7am for orientation, Thank you."

"Things are already looking better for America, Dick Cheney invited Obama to go on a hunting trip."

"We already have a replacement for the Bald Eagle, and its a fried chicken."

"The new national anthem will be, MOVIN' ON UP."

"Breaking news.....The watermelon is now the National Fruit."

[The BUCKY]

Fuck it, i'll be the brave one....

"Attention all white people.....report to the cotton fields tomorrow at 7am for orientation, Thank you."

"Things are already looking better for America, Dick Cheney invited Obama to go on a hunting trip."

"We already have a replacement for the Bald Eagle, and its a fried chicken."

"The new national anthem will be, MOVIN' ON UP."

"Breaking news.....The watermelon is now the National Fruit."


i lol'd at a few of those

[Double_0_Rusty]

lol thanks...hope i dont get banned....

[Kevykev]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[umairejaz]

lol.

[speedminded]

Of course not meant to offend anyone!

"The rose garden in front of the White House has been replaced with a watermelon patch."

"The Statue of Liberty is being reconstructed as Aunt Jemima holding a chicken wing."

[allmotorX]

no offense but this is a fucced up thread!!!!Jokes or not

[Double_0_Rusty]

no offense but this is a fucced up thread!!!!Jokes or not
Don't go gettin sand in yer vag. They're just jokes.

[stephen]

-(revised orientation joke) attention all white people, please report to the cotton fields at 7a.m. uniforms and pitchforks will be provided. sun-screen is strictly prohibited.

-attention all black people, make sure you drink plenty of water today. there's going to be plenty of salty crackers out on the streets today.

-white folks said that it'll be a cold day in hell before they allow a black man to run the country...so bundle up n*ggaz!

-make sure you sign-up on the volunteer sheet to help bush get his sh.it out of the white house. i put us down for the 8-3 shift.

-they didn't want to give us 40 acres and a mule so damnit we'll take 50 states and a white house.

i ended up getting about 15-20 jokes. the first few were pretty funny...then they just got old.

[Vteckidd]

Whats the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?


Phelps can finish a race.




























ooops wrong thread thought this was the Jew Joke thread

[§treet_§peed]

lol win is thread full of

[Kevykev]

No need to get all bent outta shape with the obama stuff, But damn yo, that jew joke was foul.

[Vteckidd]

No need to get all bent outta shape with the obama stuff, But damn yo, that jew joke was foul.
lol i about fell over laughing when i heard that joke

[.blank cd]

sorry, but none of these are really funny

[EJ25RUN]

sorry, but none of these are really funny

*Gets off the floor to laugh again*

[Double_0_Rusty]

sorry, but none of these are really funny


HATER:taun: lol

[.blank cd]

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the presidential candidate if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious democrat presidential candidate asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss...and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'

[Double_0_Rusty]

hahahah @ hotshot's

[.blank cd]

:goodjob:

[yunglaosta]

c.h.a.n.g.e = come help a nigguh get elected

[fawk_you]

awesomeeeeeeeeeeee

[1slowLt1]

I got one. I shouldnt post it but here we go,

"Attention all hunters, gather your guns and go to washington, there is a coon loose in the whitehouse."

I hope i dont get banned for that. I actually like obama...a little bit.

[redrumracer]

full of win, especially mikes and hotshots.

[Danny]

what do jfk and obama have in common?






nothing... yet.

[b17a1db2]

what do jfk and obama have in common?






nothing... yet.

i was thinking about posting this just now too.. lol. :eek:

[X-Runner]

Hallmark is making a christmas ornament so we can finally hang that damn n!gger...

[Danny]

this is awful lol. someone should start a mccain joke thread :)

[schpiel]

this is awful lol. someone should start a mccain joke thread :)
Does Palin count with Mccain jokes, since they were running mates?

What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
















Only some of the things that came out of her vagina are retarded...


sorry please don't ban, i don't really post on IA too much anyway

[SLOWR/T]

This thread is awesome!!!! I havent gotten any texts though :(

[umairejaz]

^these jokes are halarious, lol palin is a joke herself.

[AnthonyF]

what do jfk and obama have in common?






nothing... yet.

reps bro!!! HAHAHA so true.

Some of u guys had some funny ones.

-Ant.

[.blank cd]

Does Palin count with Mccain jokes, since they were running mates?

What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?




Only some of the things that came out of her vagina are retarded...


sorry please don't ban, i don't really post on IA too much anywayBan

[speedminded]

What does Lincoln, Kennedy, and Obama all have in common?












Nothing




...Yet

*edit*
oops, just realized it was already posted lol!

[BanginJimmy]

I havent gotten any jokes, but I gotten a few pix and gifs.

[umairejaz]

MORE!

[§treet_§peed]

lolis

[BIG WORM]

when obama dies he goes to heaven and asks St. Peter, "I've wondered my whole life if I am HALF BLACK or HALF WHITE?"

St. Peter tells him to ask God this question and sends him in. Obama seeks out God and asks the question.

God says, "You are, what you are." Later Obama returns as conflicted and confused as before and St. Peter says, "Well, did you ask him?"

"Yes but he only said, you are what you are." answers Obama.

"Okay, that means you are HALF WHITE." says Peter.
"How do you know this?" asks Obama puzzled even more.

"Because, if you were HALF BLACK, he would have said, you is what you is!"

[BIG WORM]

Q: Why doesn't Obama believe in changing light bulbs?

A: He likes keeping everyone in the dark.
_____
Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?

A: Simba is an Africian lion, Obama is a lying Africian.
______
What do you call two Obama supporters on one bike?
Organized crime!
______
Why does Obama always have sex on his mind?
Because he has pubes on his head!
______
Why didn't Michelle Obama wear panties to the picnic?
To keep the flies away from the chicken!
_____
Did you hear about the new Obama Barbie?
She comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
_____
And to be Fair! (please don't ban me!)

Why do Mexicans drive lowriders?
So they can drive while they pick strawberries.
_____
Why were there only 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had 2 cars.
_____

Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up
_____
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
_____
How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs taste like shit!
_____
What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?
Rolaids
_____

[umairejaz]

^Those are just black jokes with obama substituted.

[twins]

I now I'm going to get ban for this!

if obama and a apple both fell out of a tree wich one would hit the ground first?














the apple! the rope will stop the *****!


I know he's half white so the rope will brake and he will live.

[SPOOLIN]

ROFL at this shit


HOTSHOT for president!!

[Slow450rKid]

Obama, Michelle and Hillary were taking a trip and while flying on the plane, obama said "I could throw a $100 bill out and make 1 person happy". Michelle said "I could throw out 10 $100 bills and make 10 people happy". Hilary said "I could throw 100 $100 bills out and make 100 people happy". The pilots looked at each other and one said "I could throw three people out and make 20 million people happy!!!!!!!!!