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View Full Version : JOKE TIME!!


Benefit
10-08-2008, 01:38 PM
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." He sighed...

"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."
SixSquared
10-08-2008, 01:39 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA excellent
Mach1DrmGrl
10-08-2008, 01:42 PM
I LOLed
Shawna
10-08-2008, 01:43 PM
typical
blackboi50
10-08-2008, 01:44 PM
damnnnnn :eek:.......i lol'd!!! :lmao:........1
SloWRX
10-08-2008, 01:44 PM
hahahaha! nice
Mike Lowrey
10-08-2008, 01:49 PM
LOL
rehab
10-08-2008, 01:51 PM
Oh wait, I've got one...

How do you starve a Russian?











Hide their foodstamps under their workboots

lame
Sammich
10-08-2008, 01:52 PM
lmao
Elbow
10-08-2008, 01:53 PM
lolol
twinj
10-08-2008, 01:54 PM
Ole sh!t
Sport1.3
10-08-2008, 01:59 PM
lulz stupid whore
rehab
10-08-2008, 02:01 PM
A farmer catches a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts "heyop tha dunt wanna be drinking water from theer its ful o horse piss and cow shiite" the bloke says " im from pakistan can you speak a bit slower. "ok" he says "if you use two hands my friend you'll drink much quicker."
G.C
10-08-2008, 02:24 PM
ahhah pretty good.
SiRed94
10-08-2008, 02:33 PM
LOL
VooDooXII
10-08-2008, 02:35 PM
A farmer catches a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts "heyop tha dunt wanna be drinking water from theer its ful o horse piss and cow shiite" the bloke says " im from pakistan can you speak a bit slower. "ok" he says "if you use two hands my friend you'll drink much quicker."

:lmfao:Oh fawkin' hell...hahahahahahahaha
Sport1.3
10-08-2008, 02:45 PM
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the dude driving the bus says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
cr0m3kid
10-08-2008, 02:48 PM
LMAO that joke was hilarious...
v-empire
10-08-2008, 02:53 PM
"maverick!"
Sport1.3
10-08-2008, 02:57 PM
Three friends decided to bet each other $100 on who could make their wives scream more from sex.

They all go home to have sex with their wives and make them scream.

The next day the meet. The first friend says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The second friend says, "That's nothing, I start licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that."

The third friend says, " That's nothing, I made love to my wife for ten minutes, I came a couple times and wiped my **** on the curtain and she's still screaming."
Sport1.3
10-08-2008, 03:04 PM
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."
TheGodfather
10-08-2008, 03:05 PM
What's the worst thing about being white?




































Trick question, NOTHING!

HAHAH!!
Elbow
10-08-2008, 03:06 PM
LOL
Sammich
10-08-2008, 03:09 PM
What's the worst thing about being white?

Trick question, NOTHING!

HAHAH!!

BS...YALL ARE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO GET ABDUCTED FOR MONTHS AT A TIME
TheGodfather
10-08-2008, 03:11 PM
BS...YALL ARE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO GET ABDUCTED FOR MONTHS AT A TIME

So what?!

That's just the women, and we all know women aren't real people so they don't count.
Sammich
10-08-2008, 03:13 PM
So what?!

That's just the women, and we all know women aren't real people so they don't count.

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: