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View Full Version : the loli hunter.... hunted?



mocha latte cupcake
09-15-2008, 02:35 PM
as second in command in the loli regime i've taken great pride as one of the top hunters of this site. i've hunted in the urban jungles of georgia, the sandy coasts of south carolina, and even been known to tickle lolis in undisclosed places... :ninja: however today... i became...





























THE HUNTED




i was minding my own business @ the local pocky mart aka wally world. as i was about to pick up my second box i noticed this feeling... i was being watched. as my years of training took over, i slowly picked up my second box and headed for redevous point zulu. i took a few quick turns and ended up in the sanctuary of the "special interest" and "anime" section... and yet still... i felt an un easy presence. i began to survey the battlefield for possible targets and the source of such energy. in the video section... nothing, typical kids playing their games. next... latina musica section... nothin but putos with sombrero's... no threat there... with pocky in hand i decided to make a break for the checkout line!

as to not draw attn to myself i waiting for the intercom system to call out for assistance. i knew my enemy would be unable to hear my footsteps in retreat, *cindy please come to shoes, cindy to shoes* i made my move.

http://images.myfavoritegames.com/gallery-db-z-gt-x/Gohan/GohanSuperSaiyanMad.jpg
duck roll back hand spring leap sprint 2 1/2 twist back tuck roundhouse SUPER SAIYANJIN IKE IKE and the grand finish 10 back hand springs... stick the landing


http://blog.wired.com/music/coachella/coachella_friday_24_Crowd_for_Aesop_Rock.jpg
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!

as i look back to survey my amazing performance as i wipe the sweat from my jdm brow i realize something... it was an ambush! *FAWK*

i check out quickly with the check out, dash for the door, greet the old man checks my receipt, almost there! run jm run!

*excuse me* (CAUGHT!)

*sigh* yes ma'am?

a girl? oh god! no! she's definately 29 or so... oh lord say it isn't so..

Mysterious girl: can i ask you a question

TEH JM: sure, shoot.

Mysterious girl: um... whats your name?

TEH JM: :thinking: (really? thats it... odd) JM. (i assume that was all so i kinda make my way toward the door, they stand open only inches away from freedom)

Mysterious girl: are you a mechanic?

TEH JM: ( :ninja: i can see there is a trap mind you i'm wearing khaki pants and a white shirt how the hail do i look like a mechanic?) yeah what can i help you with

Mysterious girl: i'm having some car trouble over here i have a nissan (maxima) and it won't start. :cry:

TEH JM: oh ok sure lets see.... (loose battery terminal :ninja: suspicious) push the terminal back down, (pull haley around for teh tools) tighten her battery back down no worries.

Mysterious girl: wow thanks, how much do i owe you *giggle*

TEH JM: lol nothing no worries something simple

Mysterious girl: well here, let me @ least take you out to say thanks, heres my #.

TEH JM: ( :ninja: i see where this is going... ) well wouldn't you need my # instead?

Mysterious girl: oops, yeah

TEH JM: here its out of state but this is it. have a nice day.

*went our seperate ways after a minor chit chat* i was trapped, but she was cute... i truly knew what it meant... to be a loli :cry:

she was 30... the life of a loli is hard

BKgen®
09-15-2008, 02:42 PM
lolol good thread jm :goodjob:

but pics or it didn't happen.

DJ Maestro
09-15-2008, 02:42 PM
She was a cougar in training. The mother cougar was close by watching her cub's every movement. I'd say by the outcome of her hunt that the mother cougar was very pleased. You sir, are now cougar fodder. :goodjob:

The BUCKY
09-15-2008, 02:44 PM
lol omg

stillaneon
09-15-2008, 02:48 PM
wow. moving up JM. (not gonna help you win that race this weekend)

ksniperfox
09-15-2008, 02:50 PM
pics or it didnt happen.



what really happened:
JM did everything he said the female did to him, except to a 17 year old girl.

Dirty Octopus™
09-15-2008, 02:51 PM
BWahahahahaha! good story bro! :D

you know she loosened the terminals on purpose right? :yes:

you better capitalize on dat booty playa! cuz you know she's bout to be in her prime! :bump:s

ksniperfox
09-15-2008, 02:51 PM
just kidding.


i hear ya man, theres this 30 year old girl comin into my work and reminds me almost daily that she is single and says i look nice.

mocha latte cupcake
09-15-2008, 02:52 PM
gk - thank you kinda tibby sir! i no have pix i was fearing for my loli hood

DJ - oh my! cougar fodder :cry: does this mean i can no longer hunt lolis??!?! this is all such a sudden change

bucky - i know right! lol i was like hmm... this has never happened before why do i get the sinking feeling i might get get loli napped...

yogi08
09-15-2008, 02:59 PM
jm... uj guna have to let me meet some of these lollis lol!!!!!!

DJ Maestro
09-15-2008, 03:01 PM
DJ - oh my! cougar fodder :cry: does this mean i can no longer hunt lolis??!?! this is all such a sudden change


Nah, you can still hunt all the loli's you want. This just means that the cougar community will be taking more notice of you now and that you will need to start broadening your horizons. Time to start looking not only south of your age, but north now too. :goodjob:

The Ninja
09-15-2008, 03:04 PM
Wow, that was fairly entertaining. +19 for you.

Sammich
09-15-2008, 03:06 PM
JOIN THE RANKS OF BEING SOMEONE'S LOLI JM BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

U CONFIRMED CEREAL RAPISE

Me86Rob
09-15-2008, 03:09 PM
lolololololol that made my day. haha walmart is full of adventures. check teh reps

OneSlow5pt0
09-15-2008, 03:14 PM
so does this mean ur ready to turn over a new leaf o nismo masta

eViLMunkey
09-15-2008, 03:22 PM
Well gotta find a Suga Momma to fund you Lolli hunts :ninja:

Ran
09-15-2008, 03:29 PM
LOL @ you becoming a loli

Dude, the male form of a loli is known as a "shota"

Loli = Little Girl
Shota = Little Boy

Also, you disclosed your personal information and contact number to a female over the age of 18. You're lucky I don't demote you on the spot.

Sammich
09-15-2008, 03:32 PM
LOL @ you becoming a loli

Dude, the male form of a loli is known as a "shota"

Loli = Little Girl
Shota = Little Boy

Also, you disclosed your personal information and contact number to a female over the age of 18. You're lucky I don't demote you on the spot.

HOW DO U PRONOUNCE THAT? CUZ...IT SEEMS LIKE THE JAMAICAN SOUNDING WORD...SHOTTA...:ninja:

Ran
09-15-2008, 03:34 PM
HOW DO U PRONOUNCE THAT? CUZ...IT SEEMS LIKE THE JAMAICAN SOUNDING WORD...SHOTTA...:ninja:Just like it's spelled man.

Shota = "Show-Tah"

Sammich
09-15-2008, 03:35 PM
SO IM A SHOW STOPPER? LOL

mocha latte cupcake
09-15-2008, 03:37 PM
yogi - yes the loli do run rampant around here @ certain times

dJ - i see... perhaps i shall venture into the land of "older women" :ninja:

d ninja - arigato gozaimasu!

sammich - cereal rapise! lol

lexi - :goodjob:

toads - :ninja: i doubt it!

jamie - :ninja: yes yes... a 3 way loli cougar adventure :ninja:

Ran
09-15-2008, 03:43 PM
perhaps i shall venture into the land of "older women"http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Nismosis/1203698082445.png

Sammich
09-15-2008, 03:44 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Nismosis/1203698082445.png

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

HEY JM DONT LISTEN TO RAN...GET INTO THAT OLD GUSH..IT BE GOOD YO:lmfao:

mocha latte cupcake
09-15-2008, 03:47 PM
idk i'm scared... thats dangerous territory! its like playing in a mine field! oh wrong move... BAM you get your loli detector touched by a cougar and become "fodder" as they call it... i don't think i'm prepared for that step...

amy san speaks tr00f :bow:

Sammich
09-15-2008, 03:49 PM
idk i'm scared... thats dangerous territory! its like playing in a mine field! oh wrong move... BAM you get your loli detector touched by a cougar and become "fodder" as they call it... i don't think i'm prepared for that step...

amy san speaks tr00f :bow:

HIT THE OLDER ONE TIME AND U WONT LOOK BACK..THATS IF HER GOODS ARE RIGHT:ninja:

Ran
09-15-2008, 03:50 PM
HIT THE OLDER ONE TIME AND U WONT LOOK BACK..THATS IF HER GOODS ARE RIGHT:ninja:True connoisseurs of the feminine race buy new, not used.

mocha latte cupcake
09-15-2008, 03:51 PM
True connoisseurs of the feminine race buy new, not used.
QUOTED FOR TR00f!

i'd rather get mine fresh with no miles and break it in how i want, than to have to replace the tires and air bags NAH MEAN?!

Ran
09-15-2008, 03:57 PM
i'd rather get mine fresh with no miles and break it in how i want, than to have to replace the tires and air bags NAH MEAN?!Buy it, break it, trade it in, repeat. :ninja:

Sammich
09-15-2008, 04:01 PM
True connoisseurs of the feminine race buy new, not used.

WAT IF YOU BUY, BRAND NEW, A PINTO

Crazy Asian
09-15-2008, 04:01 PM
WHAT RANK AM I!!!???? Right now Im talking to a 16 or 17 year old. So far no words yet on whens she gonna hand over the pics.

alpine_aw11
09-15-2008, 06:00 PM
You would be crazy to not slam an attractive 30 year old woman.

yogi08
09-15-2008, 06:01 PM
i wana ajun..... ajun love country guys :D

Friggintitsman
09-15-2008, 06:05 PM
http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj206/Dannblood/Poster.jpg

yogi08
09-15-2008, 06:06 PM
http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj206/Dannblood/Poster.jpg
im pretty sure loli's are cute ajun girls.. not boys.. fagg0t

Friggintitsman
09-15-2008, 06:08 PM
im pretty sure loli's are cute ajun girls.. not boys.. fagg0t

Only pretty sure huh snake bite?

Echonova
09-15-2008, 06:17 PM
Lulz

Friggintitsman
09-15-2008, 06:22 PM
Sometimes I just want to punch Asian girls in the face. I'm not sure why really I just do.

Brock
09-15-2008, 06:31 PM
JM if the mommys around here are like their daughters, it could very well be dangerous territory. trust me i know the daughters.:ninja:

Ran
09-16-2008, 09:24 AM
http://i37.tinypic.com/zlxmyw.jpg

Sammich
09-16-2008, 09:24 AM
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR