Seperate bank accounts??

[JDMJAYDC2]

looking for a few answers on this mostly from ppl that are married, long term relationships etc.

wondering if this is a good idea or not i like to buy lots of random parts etc for my cars and i know that gonna be a problem later in life for my future wife. Is it a good idea to always have seperate bank accounts for this reason. If your doing the whole same bank account both paychecks go in and we just let each other know when we take money out deal post up and explain how you make that work.

What do you do if one party in the relationship makes say 350 a week and the other makes 500 a week should both parties be allowed to spend on items for pleasure such as clothes, shoes, etc as they see fit even though they dont make as much as the other party. This comes after all the bills have been paid for that month.

One thing has been brought up to me which is allowance lol yeah back to grade school on your arse. The same problem comes up for me on this too if we are saying ok we have 400 left over after all the bills are paid for that month and we have this left should we really be splitting this down the middle giving both of us 200 to spend if you KNOW most of that allowance is my damn paycheck??

anyhow post up i know there are married guys on here that can help me out so i sound like the mature guy when that time come for me to have this talk with the wifey:D

[YoTa_BoX]

Well if you are married with a Prenup then yes for god sakes diff accnts because your pretty much telling each other that it prob will now work out lol and you need to protect yo sh!t lol!!!!

Now on the other hand if you are not a greedy little F!uck and truly love and enjoy your partner and feel that you could be with this person forever, then yes split down the middle. Thats all part of being in a relationship and sharing with your partner is what you want to do.

thats just what i think any ways...i could be wrong but oh well.

[ueyedgr8tness]

LOl me and the love of my life has 2 accounts together and i have 2 on my own to spend $ on cars,bs, etc just keeps us from argue is all it does when she has no idea i have spent money on things she don't like.

[quickdodge®]

If you're married and you have two separate accounts, then you shouldn't be married. Having separate accounts for each person is a "trust" issue. And if you have issues in trust, then there's no reason to stay together. When you get married, all priorities change. At least in a normal relationship. You've got to put family first. Over ANYthing else. You've got food, electricity, water, house and other bills that you're now providing for at least two (if not more with children) people. All the "toys" and shiit goes to the back burner. It doesn't have to be put on hold (unless it isn't financially reasonable), but it needs to be placed behind everything else. If all is well, and you can afford it after everything is taken care of, then by all means, go for it on your hobby. But if you have to hide accounts and have separate accounts, then there going to be problems. I couldn't think of disrespecting my wife by making her have her own account. I've been married for 10 years to this one we've always had the same account and we have no problems. Later, QD.

[BanginJimmy]

I wont bother reading this entire post because the answer is obvious. Keep ALL finances seperate, and that includes a mortgage if possible.

[quickdodge®]

Keep ALL finances seperate, and that includes a mortgage if possible.

Really? Our first disagreement I figured you'd think opposite from what you posted. Later, QD.

[uproot]

If you're married and you have two separate accounts, then you shouldn't be married. Having separate accounts for each person is a "trust" issue. And if you have issues in trust, then there's no reason to stay together. When you get married, all priorities change. At least in a normal relationship. You've got to put family first. Over ANYthing else. You've got food, electricity, water, house and other bills that you're now providing for at least two (if not more with children) people. All the "toys" and shiit goes to the back burner. It doesn't have to be put on hold (unless it isn't financially reasonable), but it needs to be placed behind everything else. If all is well, and you can afford it after everything is taken care of, then by all means, go for it on your hobby. But if you have to hide accounts and have separate accounts, then there going to be problems. I couldn't think of disrespecting my wife by making her have her own account. I've been married for 10 years to this one we've always had the same account and we have no problems. Later, QD.

couldn't agree more. :goodjob:

[joecoolfreak]

If you're married and you have two separate accounts, then you shouldn't be married. Having separate accounts for each person is a "trust" issue. And if you have issues in trust, then there's no reason to stay together. When you get married, all priorities change. At least in a normal relationship. You've got to put family first. Over ANYthing else. You've got food, electricity, water, house and other bills that you're now providing for at least two (if not more with children) people. All the "toys" and shiit goes to the back burner. It doesn't have to be put on hold (unless it isn't financially reasonable), but it needs to be placed behind everything else. If all is well, and you can afford it after everything is taken care of, then by all means, go for it on your hobby. But if you have to hide accounts and have separate accounts, then there going to be problems. I couldn't think of disrespecting my wife by making her have her own account. I've been married for 10 years to this one we've always had the same account and we have no problems. Later, QD.

I actually disagree with you slightly QD. My wife and I trust each other completely, but we have three accounts and it works out very well. We do it for logistical reasons more than anything else. She has an account, I have an account, and we have a third account. Now mind you, we both have access to all three accounts, but it easier to put all of the money in one account that pays for the bills and our "allowances" go into each of our accounts. This keeps us from spending money that was supposed to go somewhere else and makes sure we don't overdraft. Having seperate accounts also makes the budget easier to track and spending analyzed.

To the OP... Where QD is correct is that your priorities should have changed when you got married. There is now no such thing as her money and your money. It is all both of your money now. I make close to twice as much as my wife and she spends close to twice as much as me in non-budgeted spending a month. That doesn't bother me in the slightest because making her happy is always my highest priority. IMHO, all purchases over 20 bucks or so should always be discussed and planned between the two of you and it doesn't really matter who makes the money at all.

[HeLLo iM iZzY]

^ That's basically the same thing QD said. He just has all the bills and sh1t in one account unlike you, in three accounts.

[allmotoronly]

My wife and I share two accounts, one for bills, and one for saving/spending on extras. we both make the same amount of money, so we put one paycheck in one account, and the other paycheck in the other account. It works out pretty good. My wife is not one to give me a hard time for spending money on whatever I want...

[BanginJimmy]

Really? Our first disagreement I figured you'd think opposite from what you posted. Later, QD.


Working off of shared accounts works for some, doesnt work for others. In my case, and the case of the OP we spend our money quite different than our spouse. My wife and I each put about 1500 a month into a joint account which pays bills and adds to a shared emergency fund. The rest of our earnings go into our own accounts for individual monthly expenses and play money.

[candy2082002]

Chris and I have one account, we have a savings account that is separate, but that's normal. We both get what we want when the money permits, so it works out. We do this so we can share the responsibility of paying the bills and such, because it can become too much. I knew a couple that did that, but they were older and had a established life before they got married. They split the bills up evenly and it works for them.....so I guess it just depends on where you are in your life, but "hiding" another account is a good way to go down the wrong road. As long as you are honest about it than whatever thats fine.

[JDMJAYDC2]

i knew this would be split down the middle im really feeling everyone's answers but it seems to be all the same thing it just matters what works for your couple

[BABY J]

SEPARATE!!!

And even when you are married, you need to ALWAYS reserve something for yourself. I say this b/c you can't think for every1 - and you never know when a smooth cat like Baby J is doing your wife while you're out bringin home the groceries.

At the end of the day, YOU have to be respinsible for YOUR best interests.

[BABY J]

Well if you are married with a Prenup then yes for god sakes diff accnts because your pretty much telling each other that it prob will now work out lol and you need to protect yo sh!t lol!!!!

Now on the other hand if you are not a greedy little F!uck and truly love and enjoy your partner and feel that you could be with this person forever, then yes split down the middle. Thats all part of being in a relationship and sharing with your partner is what you want to do.

thats just what i think any ways...i could be wrong but oh well.

That's not what a pre-nup is saying.

[BABY J]

If you're married and you have two separate accounts, then you shouldn't be married. Having separate accounts for each person is a "trust" issue. And if you have issues in trust, then there's no reason to stay together. When you get married, all priorities change. At least in a normal relationship. You've got to put family first. Over ANYthing else. You've got food, electricity, water, house and other bills that you're now providing for at least two (if not more with children) people. All the "toys" and shiit goes to the back burner. It doesn't have to be put on hold (unless it isn't financially reasonable), but it needs to be placed behind everything else. If all is well, and you can afford it after everything is taken care of, then by all means, go for it on your hobby. But if you have to hide accounts and have separate accounts, then there going to be problems. I couldn't think of disrespecting my wife by making her have her own account. I've been married for 10 years to this one we've always had the same account and we have no problems. Later, QD.

THIS is why I say I will ALWAYS have something for myself. You can't think for a woman - many a man has come home to nothing... I'm not saying that all women are foul, but we as INDIVIDUALS are ultimately responsible for making sure that no OTHER person on the planet makes it so we can't afford dinner one night. I will NEVER put myself in that predicament - I will always save something for J'son... that's just me. I respect people who put ALL of their trust in another human being, but I know too much about people to do that. People change, sometimes w/out notice or warning.

[YoTa_BoX]

That's not what a pre-nup is saying.


Please explain what it is saying then.



or better yet ill just post what it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement

A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage or civil union by the people intending to marry. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage

If this is not saying hey this Might not work out then....i dont know what does

[BABY J]

I guess car insurance is there for "WHEN" (inevitable) you have a crash vs "in the event that you SHOULD" (IF) have a crash. Thanx.

[Bruce Leroy]

I like to spent my money on car stuff, and my gf likes jimmy choos. So I think that multiple accounts are best... Both checks should get deposited into one account. After bills are paid and money for food and stuff that you need has been set aside, a percentage of whats left over should go into a joint savings account. The split whatever money is left over between the two of you.

[BABY J]

Prenuptial means "before marriage". All it is, is legal "rules" that both parties agree to follow "in the event" of a divorce. It by NO MEANS says that "we intend to get divorced". All of the nasty divorces that we see and hear abotu can be avoided by this. It's no different than setting in stone what you want to happen after you die (w/ a will) - vs letting your family fight like idiots over your estate. You don't have to be rich to get a prenup --- you just need to be a thinker. The divorce-rate can't be argued - it is a REAL thing to consider - to think that "oh it will NEVER happen to me" is just retarded.

[BABY J]

I like to spent my money on car stuff, and my gf likes jimmy choos. So I think that multiple accounts are best... Both checks should get deposited into one account. After bills are paid and money for food and stuff that you need has been set aside, a percentage of whats left over should go into a joint savings account. The split whatever money is left over between the two of you.

Wow. It's like - you have a brain or something inside of your head.... and you're like USING it. Amazing concept.:goodjob:

[YoTa_BoX]

marriage is based on trust and knowing that person is the one. Its sad this day in time that wedding vows dont mean a thing any more and your lucky if you marriage lasts more that 10 years. I really look up to couples that you see.. like take my grandparents they were married for 45 years ...my grandfather passed away last year so thats why i say were.


I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

i don't think people take those word serious any more and its sad.

[ueyedgr8tness]

THIS is why I say I will ALWAYS have something for myself. You can't think for a woman - many a man has come home to nothing... I'm not saying that all women are foul, but we as INDIVIDUALS are ultimately responsible for making sure that no OTHER person on the planet makes it so we can't afford dinner one night. I will NEVER put myself in that predicament - I will always save something for J'son... that's just me. I respect people who put ALL of their trust in another human being, but I know too much about people to do that. People change, sometimes w/out notice or warning.



:yes: tHE fact is no 1 is perfect,And if it keeps me and the female from argue then i am going to keep on putting a little money here and there in my car fun/savings just because she is going to spend $ when and where she wants i should be able to do the same with out her getting mad.So i just keep it to myself and when she ask "how did u get that" i just say sh1111111T i got hookups:lmfao:

[ueyedgr8tness]

marriage is based on trust and knowing that person is the one. Its sad this day in time that wedding vows dont mean a thing any more and your lucky if you marriage lasts more that 10 years. I really look up to couples that you see.. like take my grandparents they were married for 45 years ...my grandfather passed away last year so thats why i say were.


I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

i don't think people take those word serious any more and its sad.

that is so true man :cheers: MY dad and mom has been married for 31yr's this yr and there the most happy couple ever still, I really hope i can look at life the way they do:yes:

[eViLMunkey]

I say have a joint account for your main expenses, but have a seperate for your car fund/ rainy day fund. . bt make sure to buy here little surprises ot of the account also mention the account to her/ him so that it's not seen as a trust issue, but seen as a safety net so you're not dipping into your joint account for Spur of the moment purchases or parts

[Red_Phoenix]

You gotta have more than just one joint account. Period. Money is one of those funny things that no 2 people agree on completely. I agree on having a joint checking for bills and life and a joint savings to grow old off of. However, in the end of it all you are responsible for you. I don't consider it mistrust. But I work hard all day and after I take care of my responsibilities if I have money left over to invest or spend I will do so as I choose. Unless its a HUGE purchase which should be made by both parties (what the point of being married otherwise?) I don't believe in nagging your spouse about "where did you get that?" As long as the lights aren't going to get cut out over it and your still putting away for when your 80.:2cents:

[BABY J]

^^ Can we get married? I keep my house pretty clean - and I change underwear at least 3 times a week.

[rbwdriven]

my wife and I have two accounts. We have the joint account and then we have my checking. My wife is a stay at home mum so basically most of my paycheck goes into the joint account. I have my checking account since it is linked to our savings account and also our kids account. The rest of my check goes on the stuff that is linked to it. Mortgage, car insurance and gas money for me during the month. What ever is left over at the end of the month goes into three savings accounts. My wife and I's savings and the kids savings. I trust my wife with everything I own so having multi accounts is no issue with them. We basically have kept it that way since it was the old cant be bothered to change it kind of thing for both of us. We have been dating for 10 plus years and married for 3. We have kids together and see no end in the relationship.

The money that ends up in the savings we leave sitting in there for vacations, stuff for the house, kids stuff etc. It all works out in the end for us but that is us.

My kids are young so we started them both off with saving accounts when they were born so we add to it on a monthly basis. It wierd to hear my 4 year old say when i have money I'm going to get. What he doesn't know dont hurt him.

[Red_Phoenix]

^^ Can we get married? I keep my house pretty clean - and I change underwear at least 3 times a week.

:hot: IA's first proposal??? lol. Just lose the man panties and go commando and i'm sure we'll get along just fine:goodjob:

[BABY J]

LMAO:goodjob:

Nah - I don't do white people - they taste funny.

[Red_Phoenix]

LMAO:goodjob:

Nah - I don't do white people - they taste funny.

LOL!!:lmfao: I dunno what kind of white ppl you've been sampling.......:thinking: :screwy:

[civicsipilot]

If you're married and you have two separate accounts, then you shouldn't be married. Having separate accounts for each person is a "trust" issue. And if you have issues in trust, then there's no reason to stay together. When you get married, all priorities change. At least in a normal relationship. You've got to put family first. Over ANYthing else. You've got food, electricity, water, house and other bills that you're now providing for at least two (if not more with children) people. All the "toys" and shiit goes to the back burner. It doesn't have to be put on hold (unless it isn't financially reasonable), but it needs to be placed behind everything else. If all is well, and you can afford it after everything is taken care of, then by all means, go for it on your hobby. But if you have to hide accounts and have separate accounts, then there going to be problems. I couldn't think of disrespecting my wife by making her have her own account. I've been married for 10 years to this one we've always had the same account and we have no problems. Later, QD.

That first line is obsurd! My wife and I have been together for 6 years and married for 1. There are NO trust issues with us, and we have the best marrage I (or anyone that knows us) have ever seen. Trust has absolutly nothing to do with why we have seperate checking accts. Both accts. are in both our names, but I have mine and she has hers. I pay the Mortgage and keep the cars running (gas, maintnence etc...) and have my own money to play with. She is actually the big money maker in the house so she pays the rest of the bills, and has her own money to play with. We get groceries twice a month. Once I get it, and the other she gets it. this is the system that weve perfected for ourselvs over the past 6 years and it works well for us. She trusts that the house will be paid for and I trust that well have electricity. lol we live pretty comfortably, and very happily and neither of us ever feels disrespected for not having only one account. Different couples have different ways of handeling things. ...Or maybe im nieve, and she dont trust me...Hmmmmmmmm

[Evil Goat]

well...heres how it goes for us....

-we have seperate accounts
-our credit union allows us to have multiple accounts under one account #
-i have 1 sub account, she has 2, main accounts are for everyday use, her second account is where we pay the bills from, and the third is a joint savings.....my second account is for my car stuff

my car account works like this.....i take the $ from any extra days i work, unless it is needed of course, and i also get my monthly bonus'....now if something comes along that i want and i dont have the money for it we both have to say yes to it, if i say yes and she says no then i dont get it, bottom line, my wife knows everything i purchase, just like right now i have my eyes on some spray for the goat but have just been too lazy to work extra days and unfortunately havent made a bonus the last 2 months b/c i am ineligible to do so with my promotion, should be back to eligibility next month so ill be back to 10-15% bonus'....but we went and checked out the kit i want at summit, discussed it, and she says no....so no spray at the moment

our system seems to work well for us, our bills are always paid on time, and we have $ to fall back on

[Maki]

i agree with having your own accounts for personal money but having a shared account for bills and such. after everything is split and payed for is when you put the rest of your income in your personal account.