Bringing the Funnay directly to you

[B16a2 Civic]

A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS STRANGE NOISES COMING FROM THE BEDROOM.

HE RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED, SWEATING, AND PANTING.

"WHAT'S UP?" H E SAYS.

"I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.

HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST AS HE'S DIALING, HIS 4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS "DADDY!
DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"

THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN, STORMS
UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE, AND RIPS OPEN THE WARDROBE DOOR.

SURE ENOUGH, THERE IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED, COWERING ON THE CLOSET FLOOR

"YOU ROTTEN S O B.," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY
WIFE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED
SCARING THE KIDS!"

[A1EX]

what a dumbass lol

[BTEC]

TOO MANY :lmfao: 'S TO POST.

[Kristi]

hahaha

+1 for you. funny post

[Spyder]

bahahahahaha!

[RandomGuy]

LOL

[Bishop]

LOLOL

[AtifSajid]

Dont let the Niggerian post in here..but that shit was funnay!!

[boosted1jz]

hahahah good 1

[IndianStig]

repost. YOur an asshat for tring to steal my persona, -rep for your ass.

































































j/k +1

[boosted1jz]

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a derelict man who had died while traveling through the area with no family or friends. The funeral was held way back in the country. This man would be the first to be layed to rest at this cemetery. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost. Being the typical man I didn't stop for directions. But I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the crew and backhoe, but the hearse was no where in sight. The wo rkmen were eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, (who looked puzzled) I stepped to the side of the open grave, to find the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do.

! As the workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen,. Praise the Lord and Glory, ( they must have been Baptist). I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached befo re. I began from Genesis all the way to

Revelation. I preached for two hours and 45 minutes. It was a long and lengthy service. I closed in prayer and it was finished. As I was walking to my car, I felt that I had done my duty and would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat. I overheard one of the workers saying to another. "I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years, and I ain't never seen anything like this before. "





young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.

"Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough? Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' S O B!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

[IndianStig]

lololool, @#2 +1 boosted

[Kevykev]

LOLOLOLOL

Now that would truly be a stupid ass person.

[rolling_trip]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/67310530.html

I know its a long ass story, but it is worth the read.

[rolling_trip]

another one

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
and my friends encouraged me.

My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing
bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My
prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore
tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly
bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of
her .. underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near
anyone else.

One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to
check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I
arrived.

She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she
had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome
... and did not really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once
before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and could not say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you
want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight
to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house and walked straight toward my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in
his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that
you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is.....

Always keep your condoms in your car.