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Kristi
08-16-2005, 01:02 PM
I just got this email and thought it was cute - so i'm sharing:

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Oxymoron's....

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already ! ; there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you! sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

WTF..kebe
08-16-2005, 01:05 PM
i almost exactly understood that

bijan gxe
08-16-2005, 01:05 PM
28. Why do they call it importatlanta.com when there are so many domestics?

JBalla1036
08-16-2005, 01:15 PM
+1 FOR U

DonGori
08-16-2005, 01:17 PM
thats deep thinking right there

chuck
08-16-2005, 01:23 PM
fast civic...that's an oxymoron

kelly marie
08-16-2005, 01:35 PM
lol those are good and +1 to dongori for the sig

uproot
08-16-2005, 01:39 PM
-- why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway? --

collins
08-16-2005, 01:40 PM
the funny part is that on a bunch of those, i realized their truth. lol

AtifSajid
08-16-2005, 02:08 PM
really Collins..wow..your amazing..

silver
08-16-2005, 02:09 PM
Collins is such a smart cookie!!

trythefly
08-16-2005, 03:27 PM
really Collins..wow..your amazing..

+1 for a fellow smartass

quickdodgeŽ
08-16-2005, 04:10 PM
If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?

Later, QD.

silver
08-16-2005, 04:17 PM
If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?

Later, QD.

No silly.. it comes out their nipplies!!!

IndianStig
08-16-2005, 04:36 PM
lolol


Why give +1 to one that states the fucking obvious??

99ITRGIRL
08-16-2005, 04:44 PM
lol good e mail

HEATON
08-16-2005, 06:59 PM
* Army Engineers *

Repost Squintz
08-16-2005, 07:39 PM
something i heard from my mom today, dont put that dirty thing in the washer
edit:nm thats not really an oxymoron

Ms Dollar
08-16-2005, 10:21 PM
those definitely made me think...especially the one about the towels...could you get away with not washing them??

Kevykev
08-16-2005, 10:31 PM
good ones!

RutRoe
08-16-2005, 11:07 PM
Jumbo Shrimp ?