Getting a women pregnant with a child....

[blackshine007]

Me and my gf have been together for over 2 years and I have accepted her 3yr old daughter as my own. She's the most precious thing, ever. Me taking on this new found fatherhood is an experience like no other. Definately a learning experience. But anyways, I have a question for those who may have more experience. She (Meresa is her name) calls me Shaun which I have no problem with. With the newborn only weeks away I know that we are gonna be using the term "daddy" more often with the new born but if we do that, I don't wanna show favortism for either child. What should I do?

[FRYLOCK]

u need to find a way to get the little girl to all u dad or u will have to wait tillshes five to explain to her the situation but dnt make it seem like anyone is bad including her eal dad

[tony]

Whoa whoa.. is her father still in her life? If so rule the calling you daddy thing out. Even if he is not in her life do not push the issue.. if it comes naturally then fine. Keep being who you are to her daughter, the situation will surely work itself out.

[blackshine007]

I probably should've mentioned about her father. In short, he's a dead beat dad. He from what I understand has a drug problem, doesn't work and gave up his rights as a parent. The state is nice enough to send $15 a week on behalf of him not having a job. I have a pic of her...

http://a69.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/l_4a394093142b62346452cd3e5a14a8b4.jpg

I guess I should ask how should we go about the situation without forcing the issue?

[ahmonrah]

in due time, the lil missus will begin to naturally associate you with "daddy" so it should'nt really be an issue.

she's more than likely gonna "connect the dots" meaning:

1) she will observe you and mommy's behavior with the newborn, and know that it's her sibling, and your the daddy.

2) over time she will intentionally call you dad, just to guage your reaction. if you welcome the title, she'll continue calling you that, making herself comfortable with saying it, in refernce to you. since in child reasoning, "your the daddy to my sibling, that makes you mine too."

3) by the time she's 10, if your still a positive and constant force in her life, the first 3 years of living will be forgotten and you'll always wear the "DAD BADGE".

my nephew calls my dad(his grandfather) dad, because my dad, myself and my younger brother took the reigns when the biological didnt bother.
he knows who his bio-dad is, but without us telling him anything negative(which we did, to not warp his opinions of his bio-dad) he came to his own conclusions that "my real dad is (gramps) because he's always been there for me. i dont know who you are, you never came around." when his bio-dad asked my nephew to refer to him as dad when he came to visit, the one time in 12years. i was standing there and though it hurt dudes feelings, i shrugged it off visibly because it was a point, and a conclusion that our family didnt form for my nephew, we merely did what we were supposed to, and fill that particular gap in his life, in order to help him develop as normally as possible.

[blackshine007]

I think that is some good advice from all and I will definately try it. Thanks again fellas. Reps to all.

[BUGMAN]

in due time, the lil missus will begin to naturally associate you with "daddy" so it should'nt really be an issue.

she's more than likely gonna "connect the dots" meaning:

1) she will observe you and mommy's behavior with the newborn, and know that it's her sibling, and your the daddy.

2) over time she will intentionally call you dad, just to guage your reaction. if you welcome the title, she'll continue calling you that, making herself comfortable with saying it, in refernce to you. since in child reasoning, "your the daddy to my sibling, that makes you mine too."

3) by the time she's 10, if your still a positive and constant force in her life, the first 3 years of living will be forgotten and you'll always wear the "DAD BADGE".



Very good points!


I am a father of 4 and have been down this road several times with friends and family. You should never ask to be called anything... When she feels it is right and accepts you as her father it will happen. Good luck to you and you Sir have my respects.

[ahmonrah]

^ 'preciate it. hopefully that means i'll be a good daddy when i have one (eventually)

[BUGMAN]

Oh and might I ad...

She is adorable!!!

[Sammich]

Whoa whoa.. is her father still in her life? If so rule the calling you daddy thing out. Even if he is not in her life do not push the issue.. if it comes naturally then fine. Keep being who you are to her daughter, the situation will surely work itself out.

x2 if the pops is still alive..its on the child if they call u daddy or not