have u ever had to take a sh*t so bad

[isa2o3]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the turds calling me but in quite and polite manner. so i thought i can wait since biology class starts in 20min.

2. situation gets worse. As i was walking to bio, I came to realize that i underestimated the turd.

3. sitting in class regretting my stupid decision in the library. telling myself i had enough time.

4. intense pain in the stomach and head starting to get warm, but too late i cant leave the class' prof. passing out one of the 5 quizes.

5. class ends and surprisingly the turd slows down. now i am confident that i will make it home and can relax and do my thing.

6. got on 85 and the pain returns and i am fighting back. on half way the there, turd yelling let me the f**k out. i began sweat a lot.

7. stuck on traffic by pleasanthill exit. crazy thoughts going through my head, like i cant hold it. and i am thinking how can i take sh*t in the car. I was seriuosly about to take a dump on the qt cup on the cup holder.

8. traffic loosens a little bit and i am pulling like a bat out of hell. told myself nothing can stop me now, not even gwinnett police.

9. i took my exit and it gets worse. turd-"i am f**cking coming out" and i am fighting like a soldier thinking i will pull over to a gas station. But for some reason i kept pushing myself to get home. At this point i am angry as motha f**ker, but i dont know why. I am going insane.

10. I made it :bannana:. 5:30 @ home. 5:30:03 @ bathroom. 5:30:03:06. :fire: coming out my a**. instant satisfaction, almost better than sex. i am thinking the whole thing was worth it.

So did u ever have to take sh*t so bad?

[Killer]

i've been there man...

matter of fact i was on the toilet for quite some time last night...

it was awful...

[allmotoronly]

lmao :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

[madwick]

dude i feel ya!!! first date when i was younger, sometime before i was 16 when mom had to pick us up. i had to poop while in the movies! halfway through i started to get the its coming feeling. then we had to wait til mom picked up up. then we had to drop off the g/f first. mom of course had to talk to g/f's mom. im sweating bullets and starting to fart! thought that would help but that just put the turd closer to the exit! on the way home i was pissed off too and mom was not understanding why i held it! got home knocked my dad down and pushed my sister out of the bathroom and i was sudenly in pure XTC!!!!

[Nismo]

Happens. Best feeling in the world though.

[coolcat]

LOLOLOLMFAO!!! When I first scrolled down and saw that fish in your sig I thought for a split second that it was a picture of the turd.

I can't even imagine how bad that would have sucked though. +1 for having to go through that.

[RandomGuy]

LOLOLOLMFAO!!! When I first scrolled down and saw that fish in your sig I thought for a split second that it was a picture of the turd.

I can't even imagine how bad that would have sucked though. +1 for having to go through that.
Bengalis have been known to eat turds on the contrary .

[DieselNuts]

lol, you're lucky it was a solid turd and not the green apple splatters or else you woulda soiled your draws in class.

[isa2o3]

dude i feel ya!!! first date when i was younger, sometime before i was 16 when mom had to pick us up. i had to poop while in the movies! halfway through i started to get the its coming feeling. then we had to wait til mom picked up up. then we had to drop off the g/f first. mom of course had to talk to g/f's mom. im sweating bullets and starting to fart! thought that would help but that just put the turd closer to the exit! on the way home i was pissed off too and mom was not understanding why i held it! got home knocked my dad down and pushed my sister out of the bathroom and i was sudenly in pure XTC!!!!

man i was farting so bad even i couldnt stand it in the car. jus to give u a sense of how serious it was.

[isa2o3]

lol, you're lucky it was a solid turd and not the green apple splatters or else you woulda soiled your draws in class.

oh it was a the green apple splatters. thats why i said it was an instant satisfaction. made it worse i guess.

[madwick]

wow your case was worse than mine! mine were just one or 2 big ones then i knew a turd was to follow! not so bad smell. they had a slight turd breathe aroma but nothing that would knock you out!

mind you i was a freshman wrestler! i had been cutting weight the hole time before i had ate that night. i had nothing to pass through my stomach but like half a home made sandwich a day. i had some texas roadhouse steak, potatoes, salad and rolls filtering through! mine was a solid beast! i think it ripped my stinkter!!!:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

[coolcat]

man i was farting so bad even i couldnt stand it in the car. jus to give u a sense of how serious it was.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I haven't laughed this hard at something on IA in a long long time.

[grey1.8t]

HAHAHA this SHI*T is so funny, literally.

[isa2o3]

Bengalis have been known to eat turds on the contrary .

lol. i just remembered when u had to take a sh*t at mahmoods on new years. u drove all the way home for some reason. :lmfao:

[Crazy Asian]

Try coming back from Baja California and no rest stops. Damn fawking ****. That was a mean turd burgular. I was gophering all the way up to LA. And right when I got to the 1st house, I was gone.

[isa2o3]

if ur wondering why did he fought so heard to get home for it.

the answer is nothing is more comfy than taking a sh*t at ur own toilet. It is the moment out of the day when u feel like a king and show those turds whose the the boss.

plus i am a soldier and i wont let a turd beat and i will fart on that. lol

[isa2o3]

Try coming back from Baja California and no rest stops. Damn fawking ****. That was a mean turd burgular. I was gophering all the way up to LA. And right when I got to the 1st house, I was gone.

u my friend is a soldier. and i have deep respect for u. it takes man to fight this battle u know wat i mean.

[Crazy Asian]

ugh it was painfully. Not something enjoyful. All those tacos I guess has to go somewhere.

[Alan®]

damn been there done that

[SloWRX]

happened to me today and the worst part was that there was only 1 little sheet of toilet paper left :(

[TheGodfather]

I've had worse.

I get em where waves of pain come and go about every 10 minutes, and it usually takes hours for me to **** and get relief. The whole time I'm vomiting because of the pain in my side/stomach.

Happens about once every 4 months and usually happens waking me up way early in the morning with terrible pain.

[redpanda]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the turds calling me but in quite and polite manner. so i thought i can wait since biology class starts in 20min.

2. situation gets worse. As i was walking to bio, I came to realize that i underestimated the turd.

3. sitting in class regretting my stupid decision in the library. telling myself i had enough time.

4. intense pain in the stomach and head starting to get warm, but too late i cant leave the class' prof. passing out one of the 5 quizes.

5. class ends and surprisingly the turd slows down. now i am confident that i will make it home and can relax and do my thing.

6. got on 85 and the pain returns and i am fighting back. on half way the there, turd yelling let me the f**k out. i began sweat a lot.

7. stuck on traffic by pleasanthill exit. crazy thoughts going through my head, like i cant hold it. and i am thinking how can i take sh*t in the car. I was seriuosly about to take a dump on the qt cup on the cup holder.

8. traffic loosens a little bit and i am pulling like a bat out of hell. told myself nothing can stop me now, not even gwinnett police.

9. i took my exit and it gets worse. turd-"i am f**cking coming out" and i am fighting like a soldier thinking i will pull over to a gas station. But for some reason i kept pushing myself to get home. At this point i am angry as motha f**ker, but i dont know why. I am going insane.

10. I made it :bannana:. 5:30 @ home. 5:30:03 @ bathroom. 5:30:03:06. :fire: coming out my a**. instant satisfaction, almost better than sex. i am thinking the whole thing was worth it.

So did u ever have to take sh*t so bad?


HAHAHAHA omg +1 for making me laugh so hard today

[RandomGuy]

I've had worse.

I get em where waves of pain come and go about every 10 minutes, and it usually takes hours for me to **** and get relief. The whole time I'm vomiting because of the pain in my side/stomach.

Happens about once every 4 months and usually happens waking me up way early in the morning with terrible pain.might wanna get that checked out

[RandomGuy]

but i hate when turds play that whole "nvm" game with you...

like they're gophering, turtleheadding for the longest... then like 15-20 minutes til you get to a toilet... they go AWOL... like you don't really gotta go anymore... but if you carry on to doing something else... they'll come right back like a ton of bricks... playin that whole 'let us out..............nvm.................... hahah we got you let us out'


fukin n00b turds

[Mr_Mischif]

I was like that like 3 days ago; the worst ones are when you just get to where you're going and then you need to dookie sooooooooo badddddddd.

[isa2o3]

happened to me today and the worst part was that there was only 1 little sheet of toilet paper left :(

hahaha. thats when u dig through the trash bag to see if u find a clean one or reuseable one.

[isa2o3]

but i hate when turds play that whole "nvm" game with you...

like they're gophering, turtleheadding for the longest... then like 15-20 minutes til you get to a toilet... they go AWOL... like you don't really gotta go anymore... but if you carry on to doing something else... they'll come right back like a ton of bricks... playin that whole 'let us out..............nvm.................... hahah we got you let us out'


fukin n00b turds

haha:lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:noob turds. yup they be doing it on purpose. but the best thing is to watch them go down while u feel the sense of victory.

[KevinT707]

:lmfao: LOL :lmfao: , I started reading about half of it & started giggling in Economics class. I'm afraid I'll bust out laughing so I'll save the rest of reading for later.

Funny stuff though! .. I feel where you're coming from though homie

[MistaCee]

LMFAO I bet you was walking like robocop the whole time

[Nissan Sean]

you guys are sissy's. i am lactose intolerant. so that means if i eat too much of anything with dairy in it i am done for. pretty much i get the worst 'doubling over" pain from cramps and then have to **** all of what i just ate out. oh it sucks. trust me. and it comes at a moments notice. its happened to me in class, at work, with a girl, everywhere, and everytime its so bad. so while a repect your valliant effort OP. i am the real Turd warrior here, and you my frend are nothing but a grunt in the fight against bowel movements.

[isa2o3]

LMFAO I bet you was walking like robocop the whole time

did not have the time to walk slow. i was running.:lmfao:

[Gabe]

man this thread made my day i havent laughed so hard in weeks REPPED to the fullest

[Civic_H2b]

lol :lmfao::lmfao:

[GuessWho]

Had one so bad i just got done eatin mexican with some friends and i was riding around with this girl i kind of liked and AS SOON as we dropped my friend off to his car at the city park... we high tailed it to the nearest gas station where i did the ol green apple daddy quick step to the restroom.... SOOOO bad i couldnt even put down toilet paper so i held myself up on the toilet seat with about a 15" drop into the water... notta hard turd came out of that browns eye... A great nite at the Super Bowl!!!

[GuessWho]

THE WORST= "As i sit here broken hearted, came to ****, but only farted"

[TheGodfather]

might wanna get that checked out

I did.

He stuck his finger in my ass, then told me I was fine.

[Tech5]

they did a episode about if you can die while taking a turd, an the verdict was yes you can, be carefull dude, the next time you blow one,I would take some exlax every now an then lololololol
http://a1468.g.akamai.net/f/1468/580/1d/pics.Drugstore.com/prodimg/15078/300.jpg

[chinitoxamor]

puaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha ohhhh i cant stop laughin.. i worked out yesterday so my stomach is killing me right now.. anyways.. it happened to me before.. only thing is.. it was disturbing because.. i was at Cumberland Mall inside Macy's.. and i had to take it bad.. so i went in.. took care of my business but this man walks in.. takes a piss.. and goes and wash his hands at the sink and decides to just let rip farts that even i couldnt rip after all that holding my turd in.. which was hilarious but yeh.. man.. i like how you timed yourself.. anyways try not to hold it in next time hahaha. otherwise you might have a situation on your hand lol

[HeLLo iM iZzY]

It has happened. The most embarrassing story ever.....I went over to my g/fs house (now ex) about 4 yrs ago for the first time ever to meet her parents and chill with her bla bla bla. So before I leave to her house, I had nothing in my house except some burritos (you know where this is going) and it was those chimichangas from QT. So anyways, I eat them, get to her house and start walking around the n-hood. Out of no where, I felt an army of turds tying to escape my ass, and OMG I was in the worst pain ever !!! I started twitching together and holding my stomach. And here she is trying to hold my arm and sh1t and im ready to throw some elbows at this b!tch. So I tell her I have to take a sh1t bcz there is no way I'm going 20 mins back to my house. I felt so embarrassed taking a sh1t at her house on my first day at her house....so we get to her house and I storm into the restroom, and the restroom is right by the living room and that room is packed with both of her parents and her brothers and sisters. So here I am sitting on the toilet and I have this feeling that if I just let it all out its going make all these fukin weird ass noises and I'm gonna be the laughing stock for her parents conversation first thing tomorrow morning. So I try to let it all out little by little, reducing noise to the minimal. Everytime a wet turd would come out, Id squeeze my cheeks together so it didnt come out all at once to make loud farting/****ing noises. I made it finally after like 15 mins in there.

That was the worst experience ever !

[Frög]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the ..........


person A: "so you wanna come out tonight, hit up the bars downtown?"

you: "Naw i can't, i got to go to college tomorrow"


:thinking:

[TheGodfather]

It has happened. The most embarrassing story ever.....I went over to my g/fs house (now ex) about 4 yrs ago for the first time ever to meet her parents and chill with her bla bla bla. So before I leave to her house, I had nothing in my house except some burritos (you know where this is going) and it was those chimichangas from QT. So anyways, I eat them, get to her house and start walking around the n-hood. Out of no where, I felt an army of turds tying to escape my ass, and OMG I was in the worst pain ever !!! I started twitching together and holding my stomach. And here she is trying to hold my arm and sh1t and im ready to throw some elbows at this b!tch. So I tell her I have to take a sh1t bcz there is no way I'm going 20 mins back to my house. I felt so embarrassed taking a sh1t at her house on my first day at her house....so we get to her house and I storm into the restroom, and the restroom is right by the living room and that room is packed with both of her parents and her brothers and sisters. So here I am sitting on the toilet and I have this feeling that if I just let it all out its going make all these fukin weird ass noises and I'm gonna be the laughing stock for her parents conversation first thing tomorrow morning. So I try to let it all out little by little, reducing noise to the minimal. Everytime a wet turd would come out, Id squeeze my cheeks together so it didnt come out all at once to make loud farting/****ing noises. I made it finally after like 15 mins in there.

That was the worst experience ever !

Should have gone on her instead.

I did that once.

I had to go, and the ***** was pissing me off. So I'm like, take this!

Teehe.

[tippatone]

If you would have dummped in the QT cup you would have regreted it, to much could go wrong. No TP,you might get sh@t all over the place, you could have been really screwed, that was some funny sh$t though.....

[blackboi50]

I have:
yesterday i went to college in the morning and had lunch at downtown. then went to library and got on IA and the following happend:

1. i heard the turds calling me but in quite and polite manner. so i thought i can wait since biology class starts in 20min.

2. situation gets worse. As i was walking to bio, I came to realize that i underestimated the turd.

3. sitting in class regretting my stupid decision in the library. telling myself i had enough time.

4. intense pain in the stomach and head starting to get warm, but too late i cant leave the class' prof. passing out one of the 5 quizes.

5. class ends and surprisingly the turd slows down. now i am confident that i will make it home and can relax and do my thing.

6. got on 85 and the pain returns and i am fighting back. on half way the there, turd yelling let me the f**k out. i began sweat a lot.

7. stuck on traffic by pleasanthill exit. crazy thoughts going through my head, like i cant hold it. and i am thinking how can i take sh*t in the car. I was seriuosly about to take a dump on the qt cup on the cup holder.

8. traffic loosens a little bit and i am pulling like a bat out of hell. told myself nothing can stop me now, not even gwinnett police.

9. i took my exit and it gets worse. turd-"i am f**cking coming out" and i am fighting like a soldier thinking i will pull over to a gas station. But for some reason i kept pushing myself to get home. At this point i am angry as motha f**ker, but i dont know why. I am going insane.

10. I made it :bannana:. 5:30 @ home. 5:30:03 @ bathroom. 5:30:03:06. :fire: coming out my a**. instant satisfaction, almost better than sex. i am thinking the whole thing was worth it.

So did u ever have to take sh*t so bad?


this is facking great:lmao:......hope u live on the first floor though.....up steps suxs when u gotta sh!t that badd!!!!:D.....1