Funny Quotes Website

[Got Milk?]

http://bash.org/?top

It has some pretty funny stuff there.

[Schugg]

haha incredibly stupid but i laughed

"<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet"



where does this stuff come from? there is actually quite a bit of funny sh1t on there

[Schugg]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

can that be done to someone stealing your wireless internet? if so and anyone knows how let me know. i want to set someone up

[Got Milk?]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

can that be done to someone stealing your wireless internet? if so and anyone knows how let me know. i want to set someone up


maybee dunno.


docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in ****ing EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our ****ing phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! **** **** ****
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

lirl

[Stormhammer]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

can that be done to someone stealing your wireless internet? if so and anyone knows how let me know. i want to set someone up

yup, most ppl have the same network domain ( MSHOME ) so just go to Start, My Network Places, and at least the Shared Folders in your My Documents will show up.

Campus networks are amazing for finding and stealing porn and songs :D Then deleting their **** lol

[Schugg]

haha yeah i read the one about my son is so dead earlier, i liked that one.

did you see the one where he was something like blah blah "my dad found my porn folder on my computer, and he asked what i had to say for myself, and i said C:/my documents/business/myaccounts, and he shut up right there and left. thats his porn folder"

as for teh networks i have a mac though, and the only way i know how to see if anyones using my net is to logon to my rotors website and check. ive never really looked around to see if i can find it just on my computer, i hate macs

[RandomGuy]

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

[RandomGuy]

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense








OMG LIRL

[RandomGuy]

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dip****

[81911SC]

#5775 +(14806)- [X]

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an ******* -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

[81911SC]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

[81911SC]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

[81911SC]

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

[Stormhammer]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

I showed that one to this jewish girl. Right now, she's REALLY pissed at me :lmfao:

[81911SC]

LOLOLOLLLLOLLL<OLOLOL

[Stormhammer]

LOLOLOLLLLOLLL<OLOLOL

Seriously

Dark87Fire (2:37:39 AM): <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

Auto Response from jewish female friend (2:37:41 AM): call/text

jewish female friend (4:35:55 AM): um, **** YOU too.
Dark87Fire (4:36:15 AM): i just found that online on bash.org .....

Auto Response from jewish female friend (4:36:15 AM): call/text

Dark87Fire (4:36:36 AM): sorry?
jewish female friend (4:36:38 AM): UH....
jewish female friend(4:37:09 AM): I seriously don't care... why the hell would you send something like that to me?
Dark87Fire (4:37:31 AM): eh, I found it amusing actually
jewish female friend (4:38:42 AM): I found that really disrespectful. I just got home from a night out with some good friends of mine, and was in an exceptionally good mood until I saw that.
jewish female friend (4:38:48 AM): Thank you SO much.
jewish female friend (4:38:51 AM): Really.
Dark87Fire (4:38:59 AM): lol I didn't mean to piss you off
jewish female friend (4:38:59 AM): I do appreciate it.
jewish female friend (4:39:20 AM): I'm sure.
Dark87Fire (4:39:38 AM): er, why would I want to piss you off?
jewish female friend (4:40:16 AM): beats me. but for some reason you felt like doing it.



see??? :lmao:

[Schugg]

Seriously

Dark87Fire (2:37:39 AM): <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

Auto Response from jewish female friend (2:37:41 AM): call/text

jewish female friend (4:35:55 AM): um, **** YOU too.
Dark87Fire (4:36:15 AM): i just found that online on bash.org .....

Auto Response from jewish female friend (4:36:15 AM): call/text

Dark87Fire (4:36:36 AM): sorry?
jewish female friend (4:36:38 AM): UH....
jewish female friend(4:37:09 AM): I seriously don't care... why the hell would you send something like that to me?
Dark87Fire (4:37:31 AM): eh, I found it amusing actually
jewish female friend (4:38:42 AM): I found that really disrespectful. I just got home from a night out with some good friends of mine, and was in an exceptionally good mood until I saw that.
jewish female friend (4:38:48 AM): Thank you SO much.
jewish female friend (4:38:51 AM): Really.
Dark87Fire (4:38:59 AM): lol I didn't mean to piss you off
jewish female friend (4:38:59 AM): I do appreciate it.
jewish female friend (4:39:20 AM): I'm sure.
Dark87Fire (4:39:38 AM): er, why would I want to piss you off?
jewish female friend (4:40:16 AM): beats me. but for some reason you felt like doing it.



see??? :lmao:

great scottt sounds like you should have went all out and just ended like this,

Dark87Fire (4:39:38 AM): er, why would I want to piss you off?
jewish female friend (4:40:16 AM): beats me. but for some reason you felt like doing it.
Dark87Fire (4:41:21 AM): I also didnt expect you to be raging with PMS
Dark87Fire (4:42:02 AM): ..............................GET OF THE RAG
Dark87Fire has signed off (4:42:09 AM)

that was a bad incounter with PMS at its worst. first she claimed to be having a GOOD time with some friends, then turned all into you ruined everything.

[81911SC]

Seriously

Dark87Fire (2:37:39 AM): <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

Auto Response from jewish female friend (2:37:41 AM): call/text

jewish female friend (4:35:55 AM): um, **** YOU too.
Dark87Fire (4:36:15 AM): i just found that online on bash.org .....

Auto Response from jewish female friend (4:36:15 AM): call/text

Dark87Fire (4:36:36 AM): sorry?
jewish female friend (4:36:38 AM): UH....
jewish female friend(4:37:09 AM): I seriously don't care... why the hell would you send something like that to me?
Dark87Fire (4:37:31 AM): eh, I found it amusing actually
jewish female friend (4:38:42 AM): I found that really disrespectful. I just got home from a night out with some good friends of mine, and was in an exceptionally good mood until I saw that.
jewish female friend (4:38:48 AM): Thank you SO much.
jewish female friend (4:38:51 AM): Really.
Dark87Fire (4:38:59 AM): lol I didn't mean to piss you off
jewish female friend (4:38:59 AM): I do appreciate it.
jewish female friend (4:39:20 AM): I'm sure.
Dark87Fire (4:39:38 AM): er, why would I want to piss you off?
jewish female friend (4:40:16 AM): beats me. but for some reason you felt like doing it.



see??? :lmao:

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

That should be on there

[Schugg]

you can get on there and ad your own

[OneSlow5pt0]

LOL

[1SICKLEX]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
that is f'd up but I am lmao

[Stormhammer]

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

That should be on there

submitted and pending moderation

http://bash.org/?834226

[Stormhammer]

<Felon> What is a leet? Is that a type of ferret?


OMG!!! LOOOOLLL

[OneSlow5pt0]

lol,that site is full of win

[81911SC]

I heart that site.

[OneSlow5pt0]

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

[81911SC]

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

[81911SC]

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

[OneSlow5pt0]

<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little ****s in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the ****ing skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little ****’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little **** he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “****! ****!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “****! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! ****!.” By now, the kid is scared ****less and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m ****ING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my **** from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the **** she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.









BAHAHA

[81911SC]

I JUST LOST IT

[AnthonyF]

i didnt read them all but def some funny ass ones in there!

[autumnk5]

#50891 +(9477)- [X]

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^


dumbass.



#670375 +(9791)- [X]

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, ****


haha isn't that like an inch or less?

[autumnk5]

#488793 +(6388)- [X]

<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
<mcm310>: what is it?
<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore



damn.




#349135 +(5601)- [X]

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes



hmmm?


i'm really bored.

[81911SC]

That is from South Park.

[green91]

funny **** on there. are all of them quotes from irc chat? what chan/network is it?

[The Yousef]

:lmfao:

for the internet geek in us all it's hilarious

[The Yousef]

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

ahahahahahhaha!!

[MistaCee]

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible *****.

Lmao

[The Yousef]

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

OMG this site has my cracking up....lol

[AnthonyF]

Blood Reaper: on a scale of 1 to 10
Blood Reaper: how old do you think michael jackson's boyfriend is?

[AnthonyF]

ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of **** so high that you're ****ed no matter what you do.

[Got Milk?]

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> *****.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

OMG this site has my cracking up....lol

Reps are welcome :) reps will also be returned

[HeLLo iM iZzY]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?



LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

[HeLLo iM iZzY]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh ****!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

LLOLOLOLOLOL


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back ******"

OMG, hahah !