things you have said during sex to ruin it

[thinkfast®]

I remember the first time I was gonna bang this one hoodrat (first date too, god damn I am a sexy pimp) I had gave her a backrub and told her she had to be topless. She got naked and then she got iffy bout ****ing so quick and I blurted out "come on I am desperate". Wow that **** didnt go good. Still got some ass though, cuz I mean lets face it how many O.G.s like me you gonna come across

Another time she is laying naked on the bed and I was being an ass. I took her ***** lips and started to making them talk (ace ventura style) and I was amused until she let out a earth shattering queef right when I spread em. I burst out in ****ing laughter and so did she (I thought she is laughing all is well) I thought ****ing wrong cuz she boycotted the ***** from me the that night, the skanka

anybody else? oh so Im the only one huh, cmon putos

[Ran]

lulz @ Ace Venture Style

[HalfBaked]

I was ****ing this really young ho this one time, she was probably like 15 and on some sort of drugs, I was kinda desperate and this was like a sunday afternoon and this was some ho I had met at the gas station. I made the mistake of asking the ho how many guys she had ****ed. At first I thought she said none so I was like "oh **** no" and then I realized that she said some like huge number. And I was like "oh **** no" I ain't catching some disease from some 15 year old who had slept with more guys then years she had been on this earth.

But I was younger and stupid, now I know I should have rammed it into her ******* and made her sing disney songs before sending her back to the playground.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

:lmfao::lmfao::lmfao:
I was ****ing this really young ho this one time, she was probably like 15 and on some sort of drugs, I was kinda desperate and this was like a sunday afternoon and this was some ho I had met at the gas station. I made the mistake of asking the ho how many guys she had ****ed. At first I thought she said none so I was like "oh **** no" and then I realized that she said some like huge number. And I was like "oh **** no" I ain't catching some disease from some 15 year old who had slept with more guys then years she had been on this earth.

But I was younger and stupid, now I know I should have rammed it into her ******* and made her sing disney songs before sending her back to the playground.

[Ran]

But I was younger and stupid, now I know I should have rammed it into her ******* and made her sing disney songs before sending her back to the playground.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Nismosis/Anime%20Banners/1179764286264.jpg

[Psycho]

Ask if they've ever seen 2girls1cup.

[Stormhammer]

I did a flying camel once - the girl burst out laughing so hard we both fell off the bed

FYI - falling on your hard **** is not a pleasant feeling. That resulted in more laughter.

[thinkfast®]

I tried a donkey punch, it didnt go so good.. she didnt wake up so I left

[Alan®]

i was goin to **** a ***** one time and when i went to go stick it in i could barely feel it the ***** was so loose and i was like "what the **** have you been having sex with your dog? cause the **** is loose as hell" she started to throw me off but i started giving it to her and she sang like a canary

[Echonova]

Allison
















that wasn't her name...

[Psycho]

I tried a donkey punch, it didnt go so good.. she didnt wake up so I left
The best thing to do, is grab her by the nipples, and stretch her titties all the way down to her feet. Then let them go and watch them hit her in the face. B*tches love that sh*t... Maybe even more than they love smiley faces.

[Revmaynard]

One time I was tit-****ing this chick and I was sitting on her chest and happened to fart, it got really quiet and the only thing I could think to say was, ''Do you have a pet frog'' and she said no and then I finished and gave her some baby juice on her face.

[Killer]

One time I was tit-****ing this chick and I was sitting on her chest and happened to fart, it got really quiet and the only thing I could think to say was, ''Do you have a pet frog'' and she said no and then I finished and gave her some baby juice on her face.


i've got a funny one kinda similar to that.. minus the ripping one on her chest... lol...


kelly? mind if i tell???

[BobbyFresco]

The best thing to do, is grab her by the nipples, and stretch her titties all the way down to her feet. Then let them go and watch them hit her in the face. B*tches love that sh*t... Maybe even more than they love smiley faces.



LIRL:lmfao:

[AnthonyF]

^^^hahaha nice recovery!

i am sure i have a few but cant think of anything.

[Revmaynard]

One time I told this ***** I couldn't keep ****ing her because her ***** was too cold so I couldn't stay hard. It was a one-timer thing we had so I didn't care.

[Hulud]

said her moms name

[SE-Rious1]

telling the g/f she has to take a shower before we fuk always leaves me hangin in the wind :(

[Stormhammer]

telling the g/f she has to take a shower before we fuk always leaves me hangin in the wind :(

dude nobody wants to go down on a stinky poon or a bang a chick doggy and have to smell wafts of anal smells

[SE-Rious1]

dude nobody wants to go down on a stinky poon or a bang a chick doggy and have to smell wafts of anal smells
yeah i know and she is all like "Why we are just gona get dirty again" lol

[Tasuki_Civic]

telling the g/f she has to take a shower before we fuk always leaves me hangin in the wind :(



dude nobody wants to go down on a stinky poon or a bang a chick doggy and have to smell wafts of anal smells

what kind of girls are you guys messing.. :no: giiiat dayum??

[Sammich]

dude nobody wants to go down on a stinky poon or a bang a chick doggy and have to smell wafts of anal smells

troof...she already knew the first time she went to take that shower:yes:

[SE-Rious1]

what kind of girls are you guys messing.. :no: giiiat dayum??
Hell she works all day i dont wana touch that thang till its clean

[Echonova]

Sounds like you guys need to start carrying some oven cleaner with you at all times. Couple shots of that will clean that snatch right up.

[Sammich]

Sounds like you guys need to start carrying some oven cleaner with you at all times. Couple shots of that will clean that snatch right up.

tr00f:yes:

[Tasuki_Civic]

one thing i did that ruin sex was

my ex bf was giving me some head and i farted by accident. it was the little soft one that doesnt have any smell to it. it was just a lil **puff** LOL he stopped and i looked down and asked him whats wrong. he had this blank look on his face like he saw a ghost.
LOL

he told me "you farted in my face.." while he said that he sat back up against the wall with this sad look on his face like "i cant believe she just did that issh" look.

i couldnt help but to laugh and tell him "im sorry. i didnt feel i it comming at all. If i had know i would have stopped you."

I kept laughing cause i thought it was funny as i dunno what. he waited a week or so before he went down on me again. and i missed dout on the sex that night as well.

About 3 times after that event he reminded me to not let one out on him.

[§treet_§peed]

i remember back when i was 17 i was banging this 15 year old ****.. good piece of ass ***** would do whatever i told her to do too had her ass in check.. well one night it was raining and she loved on this steep as hill with a gravel drive way and a ****ed up yard. well i acidently pulled on the slipery mud, this was in my old pos car and well i got stuck so i was like ****. called one of my home boys to come and pull me out. so while waiting one of my home boys passed out in the ack seat and the girl satyed in the car with me until they got there well they were about 30 minutes away so while waiting i told her to suck me and she was like but my mom is right there on the porch smoking and i was like so suck my **** right now she was like ok ok. so she pulled it out and proceed to blow me and masssage my balls. well about 10 minutes later i get the urge to fart so i tell her to deep throat and when she gets all the way down on it i grab her head and hold it there while i let out this loud stinking fart. she starts to gag and cough and i thought i almost killed her she stops and is like wtf baby that was messed up and im like my bad now finish and she's like but baby and i'm finish what you start and she goes ok ok just tell me when you start to nut so i can catch it in my hand cause i don't like to swallow so i'm like yeah kool whatever.. i say that to eery girl. so when i start to nut i force her all the way down and hold her head there feeling her fighting me and trying to swallow and not gag lols ***** swalloed every last drop too. and i told her if she wanted to kiss me before i left she best go brush her teeth and use some mouth wash lolz.

[The_ CaneCorso]

I said when the clothes came off to this one person, WOW you do alot of FASLE advertising!!!

[§treet_§peed]

I said when the clothes came off to this one person, WOW you do alot of FASLE advertising!!! :gay:

[Nittanys1]

I didnt really say anything but you could hear a sound......I farted...lolololololol

[§treet_§peed]

i think that is what most of us have done to **** **** up

[thinkfast®]

i remember back when i was 17 i was banging this 15 year old ****.. good piece of ass ***** would do whatever i told her to do too had her ass in check.. well one night it was raining and she loved on this steep as hill with a gravel drive way and a ****ed up yard. well i acidently pulled on the slipery mud, this was in my old pos car and well i got stuck so i was like ****. called one of my home boys to come and pull me out. so while waiting one of my home boys passed out in the ack seat and the girl satyed in the car with me until they got there well they were about 30 minutes away so while waiting i told her to suck me and she was like but my mom is right there on the porch smoking and i was like so suck my **** right now she was like ok ok. so she pulled it out and proceed to blow me and masssage my balls. well about 10 minutes later i get the urge to fart so i tell her to deep throat and when she gets all the way down on it i grab her head and hold it there while i let out this loud stinking fart. she starts to gag and cough and i thought i almost killed her she stops and is like wtf baby that was messed up and im like my bad now finish and she's like but baby and i'm finish what you start and she goes ok ok just tell me when you start to nut so i can catch it in my hand cause i don't like to swallow so i'm like yeah kool whatever.. i say that to eery girl. so when i start to nut i force her all the way down and hold her head there feeling her fighting me and trying to swallow and not gag lols ***** swalloed every last drop too. and i told her if she wanted to kiss me before i left she best go brush her teeth and use some mouth wash lolz.

HAHAHAAHA

now thats funny

[§treet_§peed]

i try lols

[OneSlow5pt0]

i try lols

lol...u crazy honkie

[§treet_§peed]

well do live in gainesville so i have to find something to do to pass the time.. and btw this girl was orignally from winder hahaha

[The_ CaneCorso]

:gay:
wtf

[§treet_§peed]

you said a person instead of saying a girl lol

[§treet_§peed]

there was this one time i was drunk at a party last year and this 16 year old started blowing ***** was way to drunk she couldn't do ****. so i was like **** it i had to piss anyways so i'm like im cuming and she started wacking me saying she wanted it on her face so i pissed all over her face and started laughing then i went and got another beer.

[dnugs03rsx]

aha nicee one time i was banging this chick and we get done n she jumps up on her bed and decides to like effin leap off like a dayum tard and hit her head on the fan that was on full speed..ne ways she goes flying across the room and i sit up cause i hear a thud im like wtf.. shes like passed out on the floor and had a deep cut on her head

i didnt really saaying ne thing to ruin that moment but one time i told this chick her tits were nicer than my ex and she got pissed of i was like damn im trying to compliment you

[Dracc]

once... with my ex.. i was driving down this road.. Polo road in columbia where all the rich ppl stayed.. she was giving me head while i was driving... and she knows i like wanna fawk da hell outta keisha cole so while she was succin my dicc i said.. i wonder if keisha cole can succ a dicc better then you... she punched me in the arm and got up.... lol hahaha none for me that nite

[Dracc]

aha nicee one time i was banging this chick and we get done n she jumps up on her bed and decides to like effin leap off like a dayum tard and hit her head on the fan that was on full speed..ne ways she goes flying across the room and i sit up cause i hear a thud im like wtf.. shes like passed out on the floor and had a deep cut on her head

i didnt really saaying ne thing to ruin that moment but one time i told this chick her tits were nicer than my ex and she got pissed of i was like damn im trying to compliment you


never bring up an ex.. under and circumstances .. NEVER:no:

[SE-Rious1]

one thing i did that ruin sex was

my ex bf was giving me some head and i farted by accident. it was the little soft one that doesnt have any smell to it. it was just a lil **puff** LOL he stopped and i looked down and asked him whats wrong. he had this blank look on his face like he saw a ghost.
LOL

he told me "you farted in my face.." while he said that he sat back up against the wall with this sad look on his face like "i cant believe she just did that issh" look.

i couldnt help but to laugh and tell him "im sorry. i didnt feel i it comming at all. If i had know i would have stopped you."

I kept laughing cause i thought it was funny as i dunno what. he waited a week or so before he went down on me again. and i missed dout on the sex that night as well.

About 3 times after that event he reminded me to not let one out on him.
eww if a chick ever did that to me id shyt in her face lol
thats one thing i cant stand most of all is when a chick farts during sex but while im giving oral HELL NO!!

[JuStCrUzIn]

I tried a donkey punch, it didnt go so good.. she didnt wake up so I left

(got tiered of reading so i gave up after that one)


:lmfao::lmfao::lmfao::lmfao: f*ucking great. I had a girl that i use to work with come to my apt. one time she was sexy as hell and i wanted to :idb: her the first time i saw her. turned out that the sex was :upchuck:so i stopped alittle while into it and said " i cant do this im thinking of my girlfriend" she started to get upset but then she said "just let me suck your d*ck" so i shot one in her mouth made her leave and never talked to he again. :goodjob:

[ahmonrah]

dude nobody wants to go down on a stinky poon or a bang a chick doggy and have to smell wafts of anal smellsbwahahahahahahahaha!!!! lirl!!! point!!! >STORMHAMMER! :goodjob:

Once when meeting with "agent skully", the agent wanted to give AHMONRAH a frickin reverse Bjizzle, and since i'd never recieved one was like "umm, ok..." she commences to serve me up and suddenly i'm smiling to myself like "gawd this is funny, this chick is giving me a reverse bj while lookin at my azz!! lirl!"
so, me bein known to say some of the oddest shat in the worst situations i look back at her with a smirk and say " enjoying the view!?"

she stops, mid suction with me bawlz on her nose, and says "you know what? fvck you! why you try to ruin shat!?"

didnt stop the poundage but she pouted for a minute til i put her up on the counter and played with clyttee til she relaxed.

later on she was the same chick that i found her dildos and slipped one under a pillow and did a stealth DP while doggy.

lmfao! i'm weird! but it's amusing!