I just got the funniest text from my wife..

[Sammich]

she asked if i think she's fat or think she's getting fat:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

PS. can i lie??:thinking: :ninja:

[81911SC]

Its a test, kill her.

[Sammich]

Its a test, kill her.

or i can do like u and bang a retarded chick:tongue1:

[Echonova]

she asked if i think she's fat or think she's getting fat:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

PS. can i lie??:thinking: :ninja:Tell her the truth, lie to her now = Flannel PJs after you're married...



Edit:yeah, I shudda read more carefully.... You are doomed.

[4dmin]

Tell her the truth, lie to her now = Flannel PJs after you're married...

bahhhhhhhhhh

[Sammich]

Tell her the truth, lie to her now = Flannel PJs after you're married...

im already married tho...wtf:bump:

[Crazy Asian]

just tell her she looks monica lewinsky and you want her suck you **** so hard that the skin of you face starts to look like bill clinton.

[1000cckiller]

I give you permission to kill yo self fool.

[The Ninja]

Just tell her the truth. Or if she's on the border..tell her she's already fat so she can stay fit. XD Threaten to leave her if she doesn't.

[Wurm]

send her juelz santana - Fat ***** mp3

[Sammich]

LAWLERGAGGERS

[rndockery98]

tell her she's fat. whenever a girl asks me that, i always tell her she's fat. i hate when girls ask that stupid question. it really has nothing to do with you, but whatever you say is going to be the wrong answer.

[Sammich]

TR00F...therefore i didnt answer

[Ran]

TR00F...therefore i didnt answerWhen in doubt, run away!

[Crazy Asian]

or just tell her she's too beautiful to be even to be considered fat. That should work

Or just tell she looks like pork chop but not as bad <3integra.

[Sammich]

or just tell her she's too beautiful to be even to be considered fat. That should work

Or just tell she looks like pork chop but not as bad <3integra.

bahhhhhhhhhhh lol:lmfao: :lmfao:

[Killer]

or i can do like u and bang a retarded chick:tongue1:


gross, not only is she fat.. but she's retarded.... great taste in women pbs....

[Sammich]

gross, not only is she fat.. but she's retarded.... great taste in women pbs....

great way to test me killer:goodjob:

[1000cckiller]

great way to test me killer:goodjob:I have a test you can give her. Send her to my house, so she can see my one eyed willie.

[Sammich]

LOL ill send you a one eyed barrel...how bout those bullets

[Kevykev]

be like: "Girl you know I like 'em thick"

[1000cckiller]

LOL ill send you a one eyed barrel...how bout those bulletsmy one eyed willie shoots back son.

[Sammich]

my one eyed willie shoots back son.

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:



be like: "Girl you know I like 'em thick"


:lmao::lmao:

i used that a couple of times

[ZeD]

tell her you like her big, and if she doesn't stay jumbo you'll leave her? :dunno:

[Hulud]

just tell her that she is considered morbidly obese, not fat

[Sammich]

HULUD...HOW'D U GET 25K POSTS???? u were at like...15k last time i saw...wtf u lurkin post whore sonuvuhbish

[Hulud]

HULUD...HOW'D U GET 25K POSTS???? u were at like...15k last time i saw...wtf u lurkin post whore sonuvuhbish
it takes a lot of work LOL

i dunno, i guess by posting atleast 25k times? :thinking:

[Sammich]

FYP lol...nice miata..i'm starting to grow an infatuation for those piece cars...a friend of mine just put a LS1 swap in one..i know 'LS1/SBC is put in everything'...but it looks so purdyyyyyyy

[Hulud]

lol thanks

[Killer]

great way to test me killer:goodjob:

you said it home slice... not me...

[Leisa]

You guys dont have a clue at all!

[YoTa_BoX]

Just Stuff a Twix in your Mouth and Mumble some ****....Hey it works on TV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8eR4mDKH_c&feature=related

[Sammich]

You guys dont have a clue at all!

inform me:goodjob:

[ahmonrah]

how bout, "your bewbz are big....you know i like big 'em big :ninja:..."

[Sammich]

lol b00bies are big

[ahmonrah]

SEE!!
~that way she thinks only of the fact you like bewbz and totally forgets about what holds them up! buying you about 45 seconds before she asks you again....~

[Sammich]

baahwhwhawhahahahahahahahaha:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

[Kdanzig]

I say tell her what you really think. She might be mad at first, but she'd get over it. She asked the question, she'll appreciate the truth, I know I would

[Jimmy B]

tell her the truth.. my wifey jsut had a baby(6mo ago) and shes still got the babyfat, she asked me, i told her im not answering that or you will get mad.. so, she got the truth from me.. lol

[Slow Motion]

KDANZIG has a nice avatar i hope that her...with a face to match.


Phatboimuhhamadacbarslim, pm'd solution.

[Frög]

i hate those questions.. tell she isn't fat, but if she lost couple pounds she would be hotter.. sucks to be you right now.. lol

[ahmonrah]

kinda reminds me of that cingular(?) commercial.....

butcher: "hey phil, i need 50lbs of beef today.."

other guy: "i dont have it."

butcher: "what....your wife scarf it down for breakfast this morning?"

other guy: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

~butcher doesnt hear laughter, due to dropped signal, gets nervous~

butcher: "nah....i'm sayin.....hey....loo....look at me, we're almost the same size..."

[Sammich]

kinda reminds me of that cingular(?) commercial.....

butcher: "hey phil, i need 50lbs of beef today.."

other guy: "i dont have it."

butcher: "what....your wife scarf it down for breakfast this morning?"

other guy: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

~butcher doesnt hear laughter, due to dropped signal, gets nervous~

butcher: "nah....i'm sayin.....hey....loo....look at me, we're almost the same size..."

i love that commercial...classicalness:lmfao:

[Frög]

kinda reminds me of that cingular(?) commercial.....

butcher: "hey phil, i need 50lbs of beef today.."

other guy: "i dont have it."

butcher: "what....your wife scarf it down for breakfast this morning?"

other guy: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

~butcher doesnt hear laughter, due to dropped signal, gets nervous~

butcher: "nah....i'm sayin.....hey....loo....look at me, we're almost the same size..."


hahahah my FAVORITE facking comercial ever!!!!!!!!!1

:lmfao::lmfao:

i love it!!!!

here is the link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0lT-VNW46gs

[Repost Squintz]

need a moment? grab a twix

[Sammich]

well i stole her snickers in the fridge:D

["B"]

She said that she was just leaving "B"s house anad that she would be home in a few hours. i know it isn't funny for me, but i thought you bas tards would get a kick out of "B" bangin my wifey.

I told that hooker not to tell you where she was.

[Sammich]

Bullsh*t..u got one coming u pink muhfugga

["B"]

lmfao


I had to throw her ass out last night. The chick kept trying to swallow my entire d!ck and keep it to herself.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

Bout to go psycho b1tch on your a$$!!!!!

[Sammich]

lmfao


I had to throw her ass out last night. The chick kept trying to swallow my entire d!ck and keep it to herself.

the whole 2in???:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

dumba$$

[DrivenMind]

Tell her you think you're both "going to seed" slightly...

That way she can't get mad.

Or tell her "Yea... you are getting a little big around the middle, but having sex burns lots of calories." Agree to have her "mate on demand."

/I'm going to hell.

["B"]

Bout to go psycho b1tch on your a$$!!!!!


On who?


DOn't get slapped by a PIMP!!!

[Sammich]

Or tell her "Yea... you are getting a little big around the middle, but having sex burns lots of calories." Agree to have her "mate on demand."


im so going to use that ****:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

["B"]

the whole 2in???:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

dumba$$
Hey, I may only have two inches; but both of them are MINE!!!

[Sammich]

Hey, I may only have two inches; but both of them are MINE!!!

:lmao::lmao: proud white man...cant get mad at that

[Mach1DrmGrl]

you fool

and you ain't no pimp...how many times do I have to tell you.

now get out on that corner and make my money b1tch!!!


On who?


DOn't get slapped by a PIMP!!!

["B"]

:lmao::lmao: proud white man...cant get mad at that
You really want to check the size, ask DrmGrl.

["B"]

you fool

and you ain't no pimp...how many times do I have to tell you.

now get out on that corner and make my money b1tch!!!


And people wonder how a nice guy like me was able to catch a charge. I'm fixin' to catch another one around Christmas time too.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

Nice??? HAHAHAHA!!! You need to quit lying to people. You know you choked that girl! She deserved it anyway. Hell, I'd a done it too.

And as far as Christmas goes...bring it baby!!! you already know what its gonna be like. I'm ready!


And people wonder how a nice guy like me was able to catch a charge. I'm fixin' to catch another one around Christmas time too.

["B"]

We will see.

["B"]

BTW- Those aren't your ****ing cars. Quit trying to confuse people. The least you could do is put of a pic of my old mustang.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

F*U* fat boy


BTW- Those aren't your ****ing cars. Quit trying to confuse people. The least you could do is put of a pic of my old mustang.

["B"]

Screw you, i am sensitive about my growing gut.

[Mach1DrmGrl]

Awe...does daddy want some candy???

Come grab it out my pocket

["B"]

lol


Oh hell nah.

[Kdanzig]

KDANZIG has a nice avatar i hope that her...with a face to match.


Phatboimuhhamadacbarslim, pm'd solution.

:D Thanks!!

[Tracy]

Just say "I think you are hot!"

[ZeD]

Just say "I think you are hot!"

shut up scribbles, what do you know?

[Tracy]

shut up scribbles, what do you know?I know that sometimes I think I am fat....when I ask I am just looking to hear that my man still loves me and thinks I am hot. :tongue1:

["B"]

they don't let fat chicks drift. DUH

[Sammich]

I know that sometimes I think I am fat....when I ask I am just looking to hear that my man still loves me and thinks I am hot. :tongue1:

so lie about the weight??

[Tracy]

so lie about the weight??
Just avoid the direct question. Tell her she is hot instead.

["B"]

Tell the b!tch to work out. I am tired of being smashed by her.

[Sammich]

ayo B....you got yours coming...i just bought a new broom JUST FOR YOU

[Tracy]

Trust me, she doesn't want to hear the "truth"...she wants to be assured that you love her and still think she is fine. If that's not the case (you loving her and thinking she is fine)...then I don't know what to tell you :)

[ahmonrah]

hahahah my FAVORITE facking comercial ever!!!!!!!!!1

:lmfao::lmfao:

i love it!!!!

here is the link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0lT-VNW46gs

hell yeah!!!! +1 that commercial cracks me the hell up everytime i see it!!! tha hilarity still hasnt worn off!!!

[ahmonrah]

i love that commercial...classicalness:lmfao:
was gonna +1 ya, but :

~You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to phatboislim again.~

seems i've repped you too much since you've been a member.....:goodjob:

[MistaCee]

just tell her she looks monica lewinsky and you want her suck you **** so hard that the skin of you face starts to look like bill clinton.

I actually laughed at this

[Sammich]

was gonna +1 ya, but :

~You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to phatboislim again.~

seems i've repped you too much since you've been a member.....:goodjob:

lol tis all gewd homie:D