So...(male and female perspectives please)

[Sammich]

Im engaged, been engaged for eight months and the wedding date is set at Nov. 10. But the dilemna presents itself. I am IN love with my fiancee, and a month ago realized my feelins for my last ex (first love) didnt go away i just 'put them to the side' if you will. I figure being the man that i am, i'd tell my fiancee the truth so that i can keep the truth out there ya know..cuz this situation has been bothering me for a month now.

Well i tell her and at first i felt good about gettin it off my chest and letting her know, but now i have regrets about telling her. I feel that she really wants out of the relationship but is just too afraid to admit it. I told her that the money her and her family already spent, if she wanted to cancel the wedding i would payback to them. She's mad, and i feel not trusting me right now. i dont know what to do, should i continue to console her and tell her im sorry and hopefully as she says she wants to, 'just forget about it', or encourage her to leave? what do i do:thinking:

[con]

if you loved her and were ready to jump the broom, the feelings for the ex would not of been heavy on your heart.

IMHO, you weren't ready. Hope all goes well with working through this with the recent lady, but it's highly unlikely that Nov. 10th will be the day.

Good Luck!

[Sammich]

isnt the 'first love' one that will always be on ur heart? even after u are 'over' them?

[Killer]

Im engaged, been engaged for eight months and the wedding date is set at Nov. 10. But the dilemna presents itself. I am IN love with my fiancee, and a month ago realized my feelins for my last ex (first love) didnt go away i just 'put them to the side' if you will. I figure being the man that i am, i'd tell my fiancee the truth so that i can keep the truth out there ya know..cuz this situation has been bothering me for a month now.

Well i tell her and at first i felt good about gettin it off my chest and letting her know, but now i have regrets about telling her. I feel that she really wants out of the relationship but is just too afraid to admit it. I told her that the money her and her family already spent, if she wanted to cancel the wedding i would payback to them. She's mad, and i feel not trusting me right now. i dont know what to do, should i continue to console her and tell her im sorry and hopefully as she says she wants to, 'just forget about it', or encourage her to leave? what do i do:thinking:

you can't be in love with two people at once man... really think about that one... trust me... i've been there before... with kelly as a matter of fact... i wanted to lover her, but i couldn't at the time cause i wasn't over my ex....

once my feelings for my ex went away, i was free to love who i wanted...

[Killer]

isnt the 'first love' one that will always be on ur heart? even after u are 'over' them?


yeah, you'll never forget them... but that shouldn't get in the way of anything.

[Sammich]

you can't be in love with two people at once man... really think about that one... trust me... i've been there before... with kelly as a matter of fact... i wanted to lover her, but i couldn't at the time cause i wasn't over my ex....

once my feelings for my ex went away, i was free to love who i wanted...

its like the second i finally told her..my 'feelins' i had for the ex went away. i can understand u cant be IN love with two people, and that wasnt my issue. im IN love w/ my current lady..feelins resurfaced when my ex hit me up...



yeah, you'll never forget them... but that shouldn't get in the way of anything.

i mean its not its just that those feelins were like takin me over and i knew i needed to tell her, at least i thought, to keep trust on the table..i mean did i evn do the right thing tellin her?

[1000cckiller]

you can't be in love with two people at once man... really think about that one... trust me... i've been there before... with kelly as a matter of fact... i wanted to lover her, but i couldn't at the time cause i wasn't over my ex....

once my feelings for my ex went away, i was free to love who i wanted...you can be in love with more than on person, there's no rule that says you cant. Your heart and you have to make the decision on what you want to do.

[Killer]

its like the second i finally told her..my 'feelins' i had for the ex went away. i can understand u cant be IN love with two people, and that wasnt my issue. im IN love w/ my current lady..feelins resurfaced when my ex hit me up...




i mean its not its just that those feelins were like takin me over and i knew i needed to tell her, at least i thought, to keep trust on the table..i mean did i evn do the right thing tellin her?

yes, telling her was the correct thing to do.... if she's not woman enough to try to work things out with you, when you're being honest with her.. maybe you should give that ring to the ex...

[Sammich]

well personally my decision is made..from the first day those feelins came back to the day when they went away (sunday/yesterday) i knew i still only wanted to be w/ my fiancee, but i dnt want her doing something(marrying me) if shes gona regret it

[Sammich]

yes, telling her was the correct thing to do.... if she's not woman enough to try to work things out with you, when you're being honest with her.. maybe you should give that ring to the ex...

well i believe she wants to work it out..according to her words, but by the vibe i get, its feels like she wants out:thinking:

[Killer]

well personally my decision is made..from the first day those feelins came back to the day when they went away (sunday/yesterday) i knew i still only wanted to be w/ my fiancee, but i dnt want her doing something(marrying me) if shes gona regret it

don't do anything to make her regret it man!

[Killer]

well i believe she wants to work it out..according to her words, but by the vibe i get, its feels like she wants out:thinking:


i know that feeling man... for sure...

[Sammich]

don't do anything to make her regret it man!

im trying not to. thats why i told her. but thats why im leavin open the option for her to leave if she wants, cuz i dnt want her to feel like shes obligated to me. if she leaves, i guess its my fault for not makin sure i was over my ex...

[Kelly]

yes, telling her was the correct thing to do.... if she's not woman enough to try to work things out with you, when you're being honest with her.. maybe you should give that ring to the ex...

Uh, if you came up to me after we were engaged and told me you still had feeling for Sarah, I don't think I'd be willing to work it out. You wouldn't either, if the roles were reversed.


Sorry...

[Sammich]

aww damn that just put a hole in my boat right there man..

[1000cckiller]

aww damn that just put a hole in my boat right there man..8 months down the drain fuck no. you ex is you ex for a reason. work it out.

[Kelly]

yeah, you'll never forget them... but that shouldn't get in the way of anything.

You had to learn this one too...

And it sucks that Killer had a "first love" that wasn't me...
And he is my first love.

Sucks real bad

[Killer]

Uh, if you came up to me after we were engaged and told me you still had feeling for Sarah, I don't think I'd be willing to work it out. You wouldn't either, if the roles were reversed.


Sorry...

you're also immature when it comes to those kind of things because you've never really had any other relationships...

[Sammich]

8 months down the drain fuck no. you ex is you ex for a reason. work it out.

i wana work it out(with my fiancee) i really do. i hate to lose her over this, but i mean ill just have to cope with the lost if she decides to leave me

[Kelly]

aww damn that just put a hole in my boat right there man..

3 years is a lot different than 8 months


I just for sure couldn't marry him at that time.

I'd wanna go on a "break" for him to figure out what he really wanted.
Which I think is what needs to happen in your situation.

[Killer]

You had to learn this one too...

And it sucks that Killer had a "first love" that wasn't me...
And he is my first love.

Sucks real bad

and some how that's my fault....

[Killer]

3 years is a lot different than 8 months


I just for sure couldn't marry him at that time.

I'd wanna go on a "break" for him to figure out what he really wanted.
Which I think is what needs to happen in your situation.

besides... what are you doing in this thread anyway?????

[Leisa]

Get over it people... you will always have a special feeling for your first love I dont care what people say...

PBS.. I think you were fine in telling her your feelings, atleast you were honest with her.. I feel you both can work it out... Just talk about it..

[Kelly]

you're also immature when it comes to those kind of things because you've never really had any other relationships...

And you're not understanding to the fact that if after 3.5 YEARS of being together, you told me you still had feelings for her... I'd be an idiot to keep trying. Why beat a dead horse?

Definietly not marriage.

Say I dated smith for 3 years and then we dated 3, got engaged and I told you I still had feelings for him. Think about that one.

You wouldn't give us a 2nd thought. Period

[Sammich]

3 years is a lot different than 8 months


I just for sure couldn't marry him at that time.

I'd wanna go on a "break" for him to figure out what he really wanted.
Which I think is what needs to happen in your situation.

difference is i basically knew this girl all my life. we've been together for year and a half and have been wantin to get at her since i can remember, literally.


besides... what are you doing in this thread anyway?????

i need all perspectives..let her talk on this one crackuh

[1000cckiller]

Get over it people... you will always have a special feeling for your first love I dont care what people say...

PBS.. I think you were fine in telling her your feelings, atleast you were honest with her.. I feel you both can work it out... Just talk about it..I would have to agree with Wilma

[Sammich]

Get over it people... you will always have a special feeling for your first love I dont care what people say...

PBS.. I think you were fine in telling her your feelings, atleast you were honest with her.. I feel you both can work it out... Just talk about it..

thanks leisa i highly appreciate it. i mean thats what i thought, i just dont want her thinking im running game or something along that line. i want her to know i'm still real, and i dont want anyone else but her

[Leisa]

I would have to agree with Wilma

what is with the Wilma shit? :lmfao:

[Kelly]

Get over it people... you will always have a special feeling for your first love I dont care what people say...


Even when they treat you like shit? Cuz I don't understand that one.

I'm the only girl that's not cheated on Kyle. Yet he tells me he can never give me what he gave his first love which is complete bullshit.

I just now got so mad...

[1000cckiller]

what is with the Wilma shit? :lmfao:I told you in the other thread

[quickdodge®]

I think you did right in telling your fiance. Now is your love for your ex because she was a first love or is it because you might want to try something with her in the future? Do YOU still want to get married to your fiance? Do you love her enough to put your ex behind you and not let it interfere with your marriage? These are things that you should consider. If you want to keep your wedding with your fiance, then you should definitely try to encourage your love for her on her. Let her know that there is nothing that would keep you from taking the leap. And, especially right now, don't do a thing that will lead your fiance to think she should not trust you. Later, QD.

[1000cckiller]

Even when they treat you like shit? Cuz I don't understand that one.

I'm the only girl that's not cheated on Kyle. Yet he tells me he can never give me what he gave his first love which is complete bullshit.

I just now got so mad...now that i agree is bullshit. I dont know, but on my end I loved my first love, but she also broke my heart. So as far as women I treat them all the same wether they we my first love or not.

[Sammich]

ahh shit i done done it again..sorry killer...but i mean..i've given my fiancee more than ive given my first love. to me that was a good experience, although, my first love, i couldnt imagine leaving what i have now. it was just depressing having those feelins come back when the love of my life is right in front of me

[bigdare23]

should of kept your mouth shut homie!

[81911SC]

SARAH IS HOTT

[Killer]

Even when they treat you like shit? Cuz I don't understand that one.

I'm the only girl that's not cheated on Kyle. Yet he tells me he can never give me what he gave his first love which is complete bullshit.

I just now got so mad...


^^^ and this is exactly what i mean.....

[Sammich]

I think you did right in telling your fiance. Now is your love for your ex because she was a first love or is it because you might want to try something with her in the future? Do YOU still want to get married to your fiance? Do you love her enough to put your ex behind you and not let it interfere with your marriage? These are things that you should consider. If you want to keep your wedding with your fiance, then you should definitely try to encourage your love for her on her. Let her know that there is nothing that would keep you from taking the leap. And, especially right now, don't do a thing that will lead your fiance to think she should not trust you. Later, QD.

my love for her is ONLY because she was my first love i swear on that, i dont want to try anything with her. i think i was also partially curious as to why we just 'grew apart/broke off' from one another. i mean even after our break up and prior to my fiancee we kept in contact, just to see how each other was doing. i mean even her son had to get eye surgery and i told her that if she needed me to do something to help out w/ him lemme know, cuz basically his father is a deadbeat...ftl. i still without a shadow of a doubt wana get married to her, no questino in my mind and i have already put my ex behind me, not wanting to let her interfere(which she already has since i told my fiancee) with what i have right now. the only thing i dont want is for my fiancee to get married to me for the wrong reason now

[Killer]

SARAH IS HOTT


was....

she's gross now....





































btw ur an ass for that!

[Sammich]

was....

she's gross now....


btw ur an ass for that!

:lmao::lmao:



should of kept your mouth shut homie!


i wish i did, but i dont know if i coulda kept it inside

[Leisa]

The thing is falling in love that very first time is a feeling that you wont ever get again. each person that experiences this feeling will always have that, whether the relationship was good or bad... you still fell in love... period!

[Sammich]

The thing is falling in love that very first time is a feeling that you wont ever get again. each person that experiences this feeling will always have that, whether the relationship was good or bad... you still fell in love... period!

whats kinda funny about it though, as much as i wanted to say it i could never fix my lips to tell my ex that i love her, w/ my fiancee i tell her just to tell her...fawkin wierd. makin this thread has helped...still some hurt and confusion goin on but i think by the end of the wk i can figure it out

[quickdodge®]

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

http://jlarocco.net/images/geek_fight.jpghttp://tell.fll.purdue.edu/JapanProj/FLClipart/Verbs/fight.gif
http://www.hickerphoto.com/data/media/166/polar_bear_fight_sc52.jpghttp://www.colonialzone-dr.com/images/festero%20cock%20fight%20ring.jpg
http://www.ldesign.com/Images/Essays/OnReality/OnReality%20Part%206/Wall/wall_fight.jpghttp://www.armchairempire.com/images/Reviews/XBox/def-jam-fight-new-york/def-jam-fight-new-york-2.jpg
http://www.suwanneeriverranch.com/photos/boarPorkyFight1.jpghttp://www.maniacworld.com/hockey-fight.jpg
http://www.catcrazy.info/cat-fight.jpghttp://www.thetoddlerbedcompany.com/images/pillowfight.jpg
http://www.ibiblio.org/j181/gardner/g3.jpghttp://www.newbreedsoftware.com/bill/photos/calif-extreme-2005/foodfight/img_3692.jpg

Later, QD.

[Sammich]

wrong thread much QD? lol

[quickdodge®]

wrong thread much QD? lol

Nah. I was referring to K-Double bout going on in here. Later, QD.

[Killer]

The thing is falling in love that very first time is a feeling that you wont ever get again. each person that experiences this feeling will always have that, whether the relationship was good or bad... you still fell in love... period!


exactly, your first love is completely blind... and you are completely vulnerable... and selfless...

i've learned through past relationships that if i don't watch out for myself that i will get run over and treated like crap...

that does not mean that i'm not gonna love the next (kelly)more.. because i do...

just means when things get shady, i no longer put up with it....

[quickdodge®]

should of kept your mouth shut homie!

Wrong answer. In a life event such as marriage, all playing cards MUST BE ON THE TABLE. Without a doubt. If not, something will happen and it will be (more times than not) catastrophic. Later, QD.

[NevrNufTorq]

Get over it people... you will always have a special feeling for your first love I dont care what people say...

PBS.. I think you were fine in telling her your feelings, atleast you were honest with her.. I feel you both can work it out... Just talk about it..

she speaks truth! :goodjob: once you get old as all of you call me now a days and i get that 'sir thing' all the time like i did this weekend at nopi!! :rolleyes: your perspective changes on alot of things. when i was your age i wouldve said you need a break. now, i know better and i have ?'s to back up this thought that you need to ask yourself and answer(to yourself) about this situation.

1. there will always be special people in your life and they will have special places. you gotta ask yourself, do you need to act on this or is it just that, a special place in your heart or...?

2. and probably shoulda been a big #1!! is this a sex thing? we've all had them and some are just better than others. and as good as it is, we all get old one day and it will just not be the same. dont start on the advances of medical science and any man can get it up til he's 80 now! :eek: we all know this.

3. as pertaining to question 2 that shoulda been #1, is your fiancee someone you truly love in the sense that you can talk and be friends as well as all the other things that you normally associate with being together? i.e. when you take away everything that attracted you to her such as looks, sex, holding hands, kissing, touching. the gooey stuff!!! do you still wanna be with her?

4. another biggee!!! ex's are usually ex's for a reason. you need to ask yourself some ?'s on why the other and you broke up in the 1st place? generally these cant be overcome or are extrmely hard too. not saying people dont overcome breakups and time off but it is alot more difficult.
these reasons of the original breakup just tend to rear there ugly head up again later down the road when the new wears off.

5. you need to do major damage control!!!!! :police: houston, we have a problem!!! while it is great that you need to have honesty around. the last thing your 'wie to be' wants to hear is you might have feelings for another girl. cold feet is one thing, another person is a whole nother bag!! my 1st thought would be flowers depending on the girl. well thought out card just to explain you love her and that you wanna be open and honest about your feelings even when it might not be what she wants to hear. make sure even if its advice from other people it's something you truly beleive b/c women can see thru bs very easily in situations like this. they dont call it 'womens intuition' for nothing.

hope this helps and sorry if i went on too long!!! :blah: i have a bad habit of doing that and i actually did condense this beleive it or not!!! latr

[Sammich]

Nah. I was referring to K-Double bout going on in here. Later, QD.

o yea i feel much text threats goin on between them right now:cheers:




Wrong answer. In a life event such as marriage, all playing cards MUST BE ON THE TABLE. Without a doubt. If not, something will happen and it will be (more times than not) catastrophic. Later, QD.

thats how i feel, everything should be out in the open..but at this time right now i wish i kept my mouth shut..but it was the best thing i did i guess..

[Kelly]

exactly, your first love is completely blind... and you are completely vulnerable... and selfless...

i've learned through past relationships that if i don't watch out for myself that i will get run over and treated like crap...

that does not mean that i'm not gonna love the next (kelly)more.. because i do...

just means when things get shady, i no longer put up with it....


So does this mean I'm to blind and vulnerable and selfless towards you?

[Leisa]

So does this mean I'm to blind and vulnerable and selfless towards you?


Kelly you are turning a situation that doesnt even pertain to you and Killers relationship into a straight out call out ,.... just let it go... seriously...

[Sammich]

she speaks truth! :goodjob: once you get old as all of you call me now a days and i get that 'sir thing' all the time like i did this weekend at nopi!! :rolleyes: your perspective changes on alot of things. when i was your age i wouldve said you need a break. now, i know better and i have ?'s to back up this thought that you need to ask yourself and answer(to yourself) about this situation.

1. there will always be special people in your life and they will have special places. you gotta ask yourself, do you need to act on this or is it just that, a special place in your heart or...?

2. and probably shoulda been a big #1!! is this a sex thing? we've all had them and some are just better than others. and as good as it is, we all get old one day and it will just not be the same. dont start on the advances of medical science and any man can get it up til he's 80 now! :eek: we all know this.

3. as pertaining to question 2 that shoulda been #1, is your fiancee someone you truly love in the sense that you can talk and be friends as well as all the other things that you normally associate with being together? i.e. when you take away everything that attracted you to her such as looks, sex, holding hands, kissing, touching. the gooey stuff!!! do you still wanna be with her?

4. another biggee!!! ex's are usually ex's for a reason. you need to ask yourself some ?'s on why the other and you broke up in the 1st place? generally these cant be overcome or are extrmely hard too. not saying people dont overcome breakups and time off but it is alot more difficult.
these reasons of the original breakup just tend to rear there ugly head up again later down the road when the new wears off.

5. you need to do major damage control!!!!! :police: houston, we have a problem!!! while it is great that you need to have honesty around. the last thing your 'wie to be' wants to hear is you might have feelings for another girl. cold feet is one thing, another person is a whole nother bag!! my 1st thought would be flowers depending on the girl. well thought out card just to explain you love her and that you wanna be open and honest about your feelings even when it might not be what she wants to hear. make sure even if its advice from other people it's something you truly beleive b/c women can see thru bs very easily in situations like this. they dont call it 'womens intuition' for nothing.

hope this helps and sorry if i went on too long!!! :blah: i have a bad habit of doing that and i actually did condense this beleive it or not!!! latr

1. i realized that its just a place in my heart that she holds thats all..the place where FIRST love resides.

2. it wasnt a sex thing w/ her. my ex and i actually never had sex:eek: . it was all convo. i mean we made out, but that was the extent of it.

3. yes i can see myself getting old with her with her saggy tits and body and just sittin on the porch and just sittin there with her being quiet..i can see all of that

4. this i dont know, i dont know the reason we broke up, i think that was a major role in my feelins coming back of my curiousity of wat made us grow apart, i mean it was like, shit all the girls i was w/ before her i never took the time or ever stayed on the phone with someone this long. only time we would text was when i was in class or i was at work, other than that we'd be on the phone til we fall asleep, so i guess figuring out what happened to us was something that stayed on my mind. she finally answered it and it calmed me down ALOT as far as my feelins for her went.

5. she's not a flowers type girl but i think i know what i can do, i do plan to stop by tonight, i wont stay because i doubt she wants to be around me that long right now, but i am curious right now as to the extent of the damage. she says she's still in love w/ me but the hurt is extensive.

[Kelly]

Kelly you are turning a situation that doesnt even pertain to you and Killers relationship into a straight out call out ,.... just let it go... seriously...
Leisa, really... It's always been an issue with me and he threw that first comment out there so he brought it on us.

Edit: 3rd comment

Because I know him and that he would never "be man enough" to work it out if the tables were turned.

[Leisa]

Leisa, really... It's always been an issue with me and he threw that first comment out there so he brought it on us.


Bringing up old girl friends/boyfriends... is not good for the relationship.. whats in the past is in the past... just look towards the future

[Kelly]

He brought her up, not me

[Leisa]

Leisa, really... It's always been an issue with me and he threw that first comment out there so he brought it on us.

Edit: 3rd comment

Because I know him and that he would never "be man enough" to work it out if the tables were turned.


"man enough"????

[Sammich]

u'd be suprised what love will make u do..love is strong if its real.

[Killer]

He brought her up, not me


are you kidding??? brought her up??? i gave a guy my opinion based on what i've gone through!!! i didn't bring up an ex and just talk about her!!! just stop already! lord!

[Kelly]

Maybe I should've said I would need some serious thinking time.

We both, obviously, would.

[NevrNufTorq]

1. i realized that its just a place in my heart that she holds thats all..the place where FIRST love resides.

2. it wasnt a sex thing w/ her. my ex and i actually never had sex:eek: . it was all convo. i mean we made out, but that was the extent of it.

3. yes i can see myself getting old with her with her saggy tits and body and just sittin on the porch and just sittin there with her being quiet..i can see all of that

4. this i dont know, i dont know the reason we broke up, i think that was a major role in my feelins coming back of my curiousity of wat made us grow apart, i mean it was like, shit all the girls i was w/ before her i never took the time or ever stayed on the phone with someone this long. only time we would text was when i was in class or i was at work, other than that we'd be on the phone til we fall asleep, so i guess figuring out what happened to us was something that stayed on my mind. she finally answered it and it calmed me down ALOT as far as my feelins for her went.

5. she's not a flowers type girl but i think i know what i can do, i do plan to stop by tonight, i wont stay because i doubt she wants to be around me that long right now, but i am curious right now as to the extent of the damage. she says she's still in love w/ me but the hurt is extensive.

sounds like your over your ex but please keep in mind that only you can answer that. you def need to do something for your fiancee so she still feels loved and that she can feel secure that you'll be there for her and yet, you'll give her a lil 'breating room' to think and be secure in her decision to marry you. let her know you're available to talk if she needs you. def tell her she needs to talk to someone older that she trusts. nothing wrong with her friends but she needs someone older that she trusts. hope it all works out for you :goodjob: :D

[Sammich]

thanks man i appreciate it

[man]

This is some crazy shit.

pbs, I think you are in the right here. You told her because you love her and want to be open with her.

Killer and Kelly, wow.

[Sammich]

This is some crazy shit.

pbs, I think you are in the right here. You told her because you love her and want to be open with her.

Killer and Kelly, wow.

thanks man..and yea wow to kelly and killer

[NevrNufTorq]

thanks man i appreciate it

np whatsoever. just remember to be honest with yourself and both you and her can get thru this! :goodjob: not saying it will be easy b/c she's not gonna give you the normal level of respect that you're use too but it will improve if your feelings for her are true. :D

[Kelly]

What do you mean "wow"?

Everyone has issues.

Mine is currently that I have terrible PMS.

[Sammich]

yea i definitely will

[Sammich]

Mine is currently that I have terrible PMS.

REASON REVEALED..killer you should be good in a week lol

[man]

What do you mean "wow"?

Everyone has issues.

Mine is currently that I have terrible PMS.

I understand that everyone has issues, I've had my share with my current girlfriend. I'm not saying either of you are wrong here. I just don't think IA is the best medium to handle this.

[Kelly]

You're right. I don't know what came over me.

I have the worse PMS ever. I get so emotional.

That's it, i'm starting a woman thread.

[Sammich]

aww lawd gona be too much estrogen lol

[man]

aww lawd gona be too much estrogen lol

Maybe they should start a new PMS club, I bet they could run Project Motorsports outta here, lol.

[itsjustdee]

i give you credit for telling her. that was a good thing to do.
so for now, i think you should give her time to think about it and push the wedding date back.
november 10 is coming up soon and she is definitely going to need more than two months to think about what you told her even if it was a good thing.

i mean, i know when my ex lied to me about the real reason why he wanted to break up (of course, i found out the truth after), it made me see him in a lot of different ways. it made me question our whole relationship.
if he told me the truth, i would have a lot more understanding and i would have appreciated him for being honest.

[Sammich]

Maybe they should start a new PMS club, I bet they could run Project Motorsports outta here, lol.

LIRL

[Sammich]

i give you credit for telling her. that was a good thing to do.
so for now, i think you should give her time to think about it and push the wedding date back.
november 10 is coming up soon and she is definitely going to need more than two months to think about what you told her even if it was a good thing.

i mean, i know when my ex lied to me about the real reason why he wanted to break up (of course, i found out the truth after), it made me see him in a lot of different ways. it made me question our whole relationship.
if he told me the truth, i would have a lot more understanding and i would have appreciated him for being honest.

thats what im thinkin but this would be the second time we pushed the date back. i asked her if she wanted to she said no, but ima give her a lil time to her self, maybe a week so she can think about everything, but we gota work no the invitations so we'll see whats up.

[Killer]

I understand that everyone has issues, I've had my share with my current girlfriend. I'm not saying either of you are wrong here. I just don't think IA is the best medium to handle this.


werd...

[ahabion]

i "almost" know what you mean... tho i didn't have feelilngs about this other one... anyway, i told my wife about a woman that offered herself to me (was a coworker, and she was good lookin) and my wife thought that it was the end of our marriage and that i was going to throw away our marriage life and little girl for this blonde hot body woman... she thought all hell was openning up... but i just simply told her that she offered herself to me and that "in my mind" took her up on it, but in all reality, didn't do anything...

wife thought it was done for... but i just told her cuz it happened in my mind and wanted to get it off my chest... didn't go to well and 2 yrs later still plays on her mind...

women are insecure, telling them anything that takes away thier security (you) kills them. was best not to tell them...

in any case, you can use the whole "i told you cuz i loved you, not her. i told you cuz i needed to be completely open and honest with you, now and even when we get married. don't make me regret me doing a good thing for us."

GL

[ahabion]

OH! and um... i wouldn't let her have her space... the whole time, she'll be thinkin that your not wanting the wedding... or relationship. She'll think that your probably out with the ex...

call her, go to her house, talk to her mom (believe it or not, you could try to win her on your side if you play your cards right) talk to her dad... biggest allies and ppl she will listen to

[PRiMAdonna]

It is just common knowledge that you will always have feelings for your first love. Everyone knows that. You probably shouldn't have said anything to your fiancee, and I can't blame her for the way she feels. She is getting ready to marry you and then you announce to her that you still have feelings for your ex..
I can't say whether it's best to break it off or try to save the relationship, but i can tell you that this will always be in the back of her mind and will probably spark some trust issues between the 2 of you. good luck, and for future reference, keep the feelings for the exes on the DL!

[Stormhammer]

You did the right thing. I know the girl I'm seeing now, I laid it out to let her understand that my ex was my first love, and we were close emotionally, and that she and I are still best friends and that I will hang out with her from time to time. Listen to QD, the man has some pretty wise things to say. I don't really have much to say beyond this because everyone else has already said it, just I guess explain to her like what you said, you were curious as to why you had broken up and some old feelings welled up that you had thought were gone, and you've rid yourself of them after confronting her. It's important that she knows that you love HER, and nobody else. Period.

[3.5altman]

^^^well put

[Sammich]

thanks for the other info..i went to her last night..i couldnt confront her parents as much as i wanted to i had a hard enough time talking to her face to face about it. she SAYS she don't want to talk about it anymore..i continue telling her im sorry(after i left last night) i wrote her a letter and gave it to her last night..i just hope that she will be happy. i mean if she cant be/isnt happy, then why should she marry me. so my main focus is to make sure that she IS happy with me.

[1000cckiller]

thanks for the other info..i went to her last night..i couldnt confront her parents as much as i wanted to i had a hard enough time talking to her face to face about it. she SAYS she don't want to talk about it anymore..i continue telling her im sorry(after i left last night) i wrote her a letter and gave it to her last night..i just hope that she will be happy. i mean if she cant be/isnt happy, then why should she marry me. so my main focus is to make sure that she IS happy with me.I hope it works out for the best, playa.

[Sammich]

i have grim outlooks man..

[1000cckiller]

i have grim outlooks man..dont because most time things, turn out for the best.

[Sammich]

u prolly right

[metalman]

Bringing up old girl friends/boyfriends... is not good for the relationship.. whats in the past is in the past... just look towards the future

Bingo.
Take it from me..I've been with my woman way longer then most people here have been alive. Some things are WAY better left unsaid. The concept of 'total honesty' is a good one...within the realm of your relationship, but first loves etc are the past. Its over. Blabbing about every little lingering emotion or feeling you have for past GFs...not a good plan.
The special feelings you have for a first love never leave, they just evolve and change into what I'd call a fond memory...not to be confused with love.

[Sammich]

Bingo.
Take it from me..I've been with my woman way longer then most people here have been alive. Some things are WAY better left unsaid. The concept of 'total honesty' is a good one...within the realm of your relationship, but first loves etc are the past. Its over. Blabbing about every little lingering emotion or feeling you have for past GFs...not a good plan.
The special feelings you have for a first love never leave, they just evolve and change into what I'd call a fond memory...not to be confused with love.

too late now..i wish i asked first

[Stormhammer]

Well, if she SAYS she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, just ask her if she's really sure about it, because once you're done talking about it, you're done for good ( and try to smile about it as well lol ) - at least that was my experience, my ex that I hung out with, when she didn't want to talk about it anymore, she meant it. And she didn't tell me by beating around the bush either.

[Sammich]

yea this is the 3rd time she's told me..so ima try to move on..but still show her i love her now

[Evil Goat]

you can't be in love with two people at once man... really think about that one... trust me... i've been there before... with kelly as a matter of fact... i wanted to lover her, but i couldn't at the time cause i wasn't over my ex....

once my feelings for my ex went away, i was free to love who i wanted...


you should write cards for halmark or some shit :D