Friday Funny or 2 or 3

[Princess12]

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

*************************************************

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."


*************************************************


What did the bra say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."

[Sammich]

lol ur best post ever..not too long and were funny

[Princess12]

lol ur best post ever..not too long and were funny

Thanks! :D I'm trying!!

[MachNU]

all 3 are repost!!!!

[UpSideDownDesi]

What does one old boob say to another old boob?
"If we don't get a lift soon, people are gonna think we are going nutts."

[MachNU]

What does one old boob say to another old boob?
"If we don't get a life soon, people are gonna think we are going nutts."

had to read that one a couple times and still couldnt find the funny! :dunno:

[Spectic Tank]

had to read that one a couple times and still couldnt find the funny! :dunno:

I believe life should have been lift...

[UpSideDownDesi]

had to read that one a couple times and still couldnt find the funny! :dunno:
keep on reading till you do lol

Once upon a time a Blonde goes to a doctor complains
Blonde: "Doctor I don't know what going on, but my whole body hurts really bad :cry: ." She touches her knee and screams "ahhhh" then she touches her nose and screams again.
Doctor: "Hold on let me check...hold still"
Blonde: "Is everything okay doctor? :thinking: "
Doctor: "Oh it's nothing much..You just have a broken finger."

[KPowerEP3]

keep on reading till you do lol

Once upon a time a Blonde goes to a doctor complains
Blonde: "Doctor I don't know what going on, but my whole body hurts really bad :cry: ." She touches her knee and screams "ahhhh" then she touches her nose and screams again.
Doctor: "Hold on let me check...hold still"
Blonde: "Is everything okay doctor? :thinking: "
Doctor: "Oh it's nothing much..You just have a broken finger."
lol. you win.

[Sammich]

keep on reading till you do lol

Once upon a time a Blonde goes to a doctor complains
Blonde: "Doctor I don't know what going on, but my whole body hurts really bad :cry: ." She touches her knee and screams "ahhhh" then she touches her nose and screams again.
Doctor: "Hold on let me check...hold still"
Blonde: "Is everything okay doctor? :thinking: "
Doctor: "Oh it's nothing much..You just have a broken finger."

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

[MachNU]

AH found the funny on the blonda joke....still am bewildered on he life joke!

[UpSideDownDesi]

Two homeless walking on a street see a dog licking his balls...
Homeless1: Man i sure wish i could do that
Holmeless2: Just make sure you pet him before you do...

[MachNU]

Two homeless walking on a street see a dog licking his balls...
Homeless1: Man i sure wish i could do that
Holmeless2: Just make sure you pet him before you do...

/funny not found

[UpSideDownDesi]

Once upon a time Tom and Bill go to a bar and Tom get drunk and pukes on himself...
Tom: "Damn man now my wife is gonna find out i been drinking again...shit."
Bill: "Don't worry man just take this $20 bill and stick in ur shirt pocket...go home tell her that some guy threw up on you and gave u $20 to dry clean the shirt."
Tom: "You are a life saver man" *fall down hard on his ass*.
Later that night.....Tom walks in his house....
Wife: "WTF u puked all over yourself...u been drinking again :rant:."
Tom: "No No No some other guy was drunk and puked on me...look he even gave me $20 for dry cleaning."
Wife: "But this is $40?"
Tom: "Oh he shit in my pants too....."

[MachNU]

Once upon a time Tom and Bill go to a bar and Tom get drunk and pukes on himself...
Tom: "Damn man now my wife is gonna find out i been drinking again...shit."
Bill: "Don't worry man just take this $20 bill and stick in ur shirt pocket...go home tell her that some guy threw up on you and gave u $20 to dry clean the shirt."
Tom: "You are a life saver man" *fall down hard on his ass*.
Later that night.....Tom walks in his house....
Wife: "WTF u puked all over yourself...u been drinking again :rant:."
Tom: "No No No some other guy was drunk and puked on me...look he even gave me $20 for dry cleaning."
Wife: "But this is $40?"
Tom: "Oh he shit in my pants too....."

/funny not found

wow dude you need to stop while your behind!

[UpSideDownDesi]

/funny not found

wow dude you need to stop while your behind!
i am bored at work...let me throw some dirt here and there.

[UpSideDownDesi]

AH found the funny on the blonda joke....still am bewildered on he life joke!
lol my bad i misspelled the key work in that joke....fixed