View Full Version : SUMMER POEM...
BABY J
08-20-2007, 12:17 PM
I am kinda sensitive about my craft - but I want to know what you guys think about this. I wrote this over the last few summers and I finally got it finished.
Sammich
08-20-2007, 12:22 PM
shits got potential dude..i've never written a more true heart warming poem in my life..definitely better maya angelou
81911SC
08-20-2007, 12:24 PM
I like the wide vocabulary and use of stentance structure. The underlying meaning is a nice touch as well. Overall great story, Mr. Frost.
BABY J
08-20-2007, 12:34 PM
** whew **
I was beginning to think that younger audiences would not understand all the play on words... and maybe my delivery was a bit slow. But those are the chances that we artists take when we live on the edge.
Sammich
08-20-2007, 12:40 PM
u must live on the edge, u must
if u dnt u will live, in the dust
Required Reading Grades 4-6
BABY J
08-20-2007, 12:43 PM
My next poem is entitled: "George Bush and Paris Hilton"
and the poem reads:
"Ummmm. No."
It's for a more mature audience.
Sammich
08-20-2007, 12:44 PM
i cnt wait to read that one or even the winter poem ur going to have comin out..u r goin to have one right?
BABY J
08-20-2007, 12:51 PM
Yeah - winter poem reads:
"OMG! STFU! GTFO"
Sammich
08-20-2007, 12:52 PM
now thats deeper than pamela andersons....
RISKYB
08-20-2007, 04:39 PM
damn good, i agree
BABY J
08-20-2007, 08:17 PM
:)
BluesClues
08-20-2007, 08:22 PM
Just wow! That's some deep shit dude. Like it took me a minute. I had to get deep into thought and see how I could relate this to my life at the moment in order to understand. Way deeper than that shit they have you read in school
amberghini
08-20-2007, 09:18 PM
I really like the imagery, it helps the reader visualize the poem. Great play on words too. You've found your calling.
BABY J
08-21-2007, 08:28 AM
Thanx every1 for the support. I am gonna write a movie script next to expand on my skillset.
1st scene:
Blues Clues naked
* enter J'son, naked *
* kissing, rubbing, moaning *
fade to black
2nd Scene:
Blues smoking a cigarette w/ fucked up hair and a smile.
** roll credits **
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