How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship?

[william_jeff]

:thinking:

[Jaimecbr900]

When you have to ask THIS question......:D ;)

[BluesClues]

When you feel it is time to. You will know when. Oh and if you have to ask yourself this question and if you question your feelings for them

[william_jeff]

what about those times when you say you call it quits then you see you made a mistake then go back?

what if fear of 'making a mistake' scares you from saying...

'its over'

[Jaimecbr900]

what about those times when you say you call it quits then you see you made a mistake then go back?

what if fear of 'making a mistake' scares you from saying...

'its over'

Then maybe you haven't examined your relationship hard enough.

Far too often people like to say it's "over" as a bargaining chip in their arguments. After a while, it loses it's impact. Eventually it doesn't work at all.

I believe there is definetly a time in every relationship when it's "over". Some are just sooner than later. ;)

[william_jeff]

that's what i'm saying...

i don't want to say its over then come back saying i made a mistake and i can't live without bullshit, feel what i'm saying?

i want to make sure its a final decision

[Jaimecbr900]

Then maybe you should re-analyze the situation and see if it's worth ending the relationship over to begin with.

[Jaimecbr900]

BTW, if it's the girl in your pic........you REALLY need to think it over......LOL.

[Tracy]

BTW, if it's the girl in your pic........you REALLY need to think it over......LOL.
:lmfao:

[william_jeff]

BTW, if it's the girl in your pic........you REALLY need to think it over......LOL.

lolol

i'm trying to analyze everything right now...

i wish it were the girl in my sig..

from now on no more black girls:ninja:

[SLOWLYbtngU]

You know honestly, I think that sometimes you just "KNOW" you need to let it go. Like it just gets to a point when you realize that nothing that you two do together seems to produce anything worth owning...Like there is nothing productive from being with that person. At the same time, sometimes you just feel so drained from trying to make things work and it seems like there is no solution... believe me if this sounds familiar..Let it go.

Can you live without the other person in your life or does it feel like you cant breathe the same when they aren't around? does teh thought of losing them bring a tear to your eyes liek it would if it were a close family member?

I just see it like this:

If you're married, do any and everything to make it work, and consider counseling.

If you are engaged, at one point in time you saw yourself with this person FOREVER, what changed it and can you go back to the way things used to be?

If you are dating, and you ask the question you just posed in this thread...Let it go.

[bigdare23]

when your penis cant get up LOL

[william_jeff]

You know honestly, I think that sometimes you just "KNOW" you need to let it go. Like it just gets to a point when you realize that nothing that you two do together seems to produce anything worth owning...Like there is nothing productive from being with that person. At the same time, sometimes you just feel so drained from trying to make things work and it seems like there is no solution... believe me if this sounds familiar..Let it go.

Can you live without the other person in your life or does it feel like you cant breathe the same when they aren't around? does teh thought of losing them bring a tear to your eyes liek it would if it were a close family member?

I just see it like this:

If you're married, do any and everything to make it work, and consider counseling.

If you are engaged, at one point in time you saw yourself with this person FOREVER, what changed it and can you go back to the way things used to be?

If you are dating, and you ask the question you just posed in this thread...Let it go.

i feel drained..

its like any and everything can set her off.

i told her how i felt that i felt she didnt love me anymore, instead of her saying i'm sorry and i'll do better, she flys off the handle like its my fault.

when i'm in the wrong i accept it and do better, her...

she prolongs for days then finally says im wrong, i'm sick of that

[Sammich]

when your penis cant get up LOL

:lmfao:

[Tracy]

Love shouldn't be hard in my opinion. I know I will be with Dan forever because we have been together 7 years and it feels like we just got together yesterday. He is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Sure we fight...A LOT! We are 2 different people with 2 totally different personalities (and he has a penis and I have a vagina) so fighting is expected. We have never broken up, not even for 1 day. I tried to move out once and I made it to the pay phone 5 blocks away, called him and came back home. On the other hand I have had long relationships that were hard work. I felt like I was so in love at the time. I went back to this one guy a million times. Moved stated 5 or 6 times to be with him, just to break up the next month. It went on for years. In the end, I realized we broke up the first time for a reason....getting back together never changed that reason. No matter how many times I tried to make it change the reason we broke up, it was always the same. You can't expect people to change. Sometimes they do, but for the most part you just have to figure out if their flaws are something you are willing to deal with.

[silver]

There are lots of things.. Sometimes you just know... Try to work out your problems, talk about them, maybe the other person doesnt know, I mean one has to know that the other isnt happy but some of us don't take suttle hints. You have to put it right out there for the other to understand. If you are beating around the bush about not being happy or that there is a problem then it really doesnt resolve much if you are not just coming straight out and being like Hey, this is the problem.

People grow and change. Its not anyones fault. Someone that you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread might not be the same person 2, 3 years down the road. And like I said that is no ones fault. People grow and whether you grow and change together is all part of being compatible and being for each other. Sometimes you grow and change and go different directions, thats ok.. its called life and taking what you learned from that person, that relationship and moving on and taking what you learned to the next.

Relationships are always gonna have their moments.. good and bad.. when it gets to a point when there is more bad and you cant remember the good and you think that you have done what you can to salvage the relationship and nothing is working, then it might be time to move on. When you have become a totally different person and don't even know yourself anymore and are just not happy, might be time to move on. I think too many times when relationships last a lot longer than they should, people blind themselves to the actual reality of what is going on. They tend to think that unfixable problems can be fixed and they hang on to that hope that things will get better cause this person is the one, or they don't want to be alone or whatever reason.

I'm no relationship expert but, its hard when going through a break up.. and things will get alot harder before they get better, but they DO get better..

[SLOWLYbtngU]

i feel drained..

its like any and everything can set her off.

i told her how i felt that i felt she didnt love me anymore, instead of her saying i'm sorry and i'll do better, she flys off the handle like its my fault.

when i'm in the wrong i accept it and do better, her...

she prolongs for days then finally says im wrong, i'm sick of that

:( I cant stand when I hear that the woman is the one that is making it so hard. I can almost guarantee that she has been hurt before and doesnt know how to let go of the past. Even though you could be everything that she ever wanted and needed, she was hurt so much before by last guy she thought that about that she just doesnt know how to let down her guard.

I am the SAME way. I meet Mr. Right, Mr. Right^2, and all of his cousins and family members...But Cant allow myself to let my guard down. What happens? The guy quits. Can I blame him? Hell no. I do it to myself.

You need to talk to her and if she avoids this conversation, you can expect to avoid any future convos also. I say back off for a while. Take a break. BOTH of you. See if this is who you want to be with.

[silver]

Love shouldn't be hard in my opinion. I know I will be with Dan forever because we have been together 7 years and it feels like we just got together yesterday. He is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Sure we fight...A LOT! We are 2 different people with 2 totally different personalities (and he has a penis and I have a vagina) so fighting is expected. We have never broken up, not even for 1 day. I tried to move out once and I made it to the pay phone 5 blocks away, called him and came back home. On the other hand I have had long relationships that were hard work. I felt like I was so in love at the time. I went back to this one guy a million times. Moved stated 5 or 6 times to be with him, just to break up the next month. It went on for years. In the end, I realized we broke up the first time for a reason....getting back together never changed that reason. No matter how many times I tried to make it change the reason we broke up, it was always the same. You can't expect people to change. Sometimes they do, but for the most part you just have to figure out if their flaws are something you are willing to deal with.

Totally agree with you.. love shouldn't be hard at all..

And I also agree, I think if you have to break up that first time thats a huge sign that there is a problem.. I was engaged once, and there were several occasions that we would get in fights and he would take the ring back. And in the end I looked back and was like he gave me that ring because he wanted to be with me forever, someone that wants to be with someone forever doesnt take back the very thing that is supposed to symbolize that. If there are ever doubts in a relationship that you should break up or that you would be happy with someone else IMO thats a clear sign that its time to move on

[william_jeff]

Love shouldn't be hard in my opinion. I know I will be with Dan forever because we have been together 7 years and it feels like we just got together yesterday. He is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Sure we fight...A LOT! We are 2 different people with 2 totally different personalities (and he has a penis and I have a vagina) so fighting is expected. We have never broken up, not even for 1 day. I tried to move out once and I made it to the pay phone 5 blocks away, called him and came back home. On the other hand I have had long relationships that were hard work. I felt like I was so in love at the time. I went back to this one guy a million times. Moved stated 5 or 6 times to be with him, just to break up the next month. It went on for years. In the end, I realized we broke up the first time for a reason....getting back together never changed that reason. No matter how many times I tried to make it change the reason we broke up, it was always the same. You can't expect people to change. Sometimes they do, but for the most part you just have to figure out if their flaws are something you are willing to deal with.

the bulk..broke up for different reasons, most of them have been different. i'd say we break up then she'd say it, prolly 3-4 times that we've done that. she has made some changes, but her temper and the way she reacts is the same.


There are lots of things.. Sometimes you just know... Try to work out your problems, talk about them, maybe the other person doesnt know, I mean one has to know that the other isnt happy but some of us don't take suttle hints. You have to put it right out there for the other to understand. If you are beating around the bush about not being happy or that there is a problem then it really doesnt resolve much if you are not just coming straight out and being like Hey, this is the problem.

this is what the argument is about right now. i JUST told her what was on my mind, with no beating around the bush and BAM explosion to hell.




:( I cant stand when I hear that the woman is the one that is making it so hard. I can almost guarantee that she has been hurt before and doesnt know how to let go of the past. Even though you could be everything that she ever wanted and needed, she was hurt so much before by last guy she thought that about that she just doesnt know how to let down her guard.

I am the SAME way. I meet Mr. Right, Mr. Right^2, and all of his cousins and family members...But Cant allow myself to let my guard down. What happens? The guy quits. Can I blame him? Hell no. I do it to myself.

You need to talk to her and if she avoids this conversation, you can expect to avoid any future convos also. I say back off for a while. Take a break. BOTH of you. See if this is who you want to be with.

but you missed a valid point, i admit when i'm wrong while she doesn't, that's the major kicker. i approached her about my present feelings, when all she had to do to remedy the situation was figure out, what she can do to make it better, she didn't instead she took the chicago bears defense and blew up like hiroshima, no ish. but i think a break is in order:goodjob:

[Tracy]

There are lots of things.. Sometimes you just know... Try to work out your problems, talk about them, maybe the other person doesnt know, I mean one has to know that the other isnt happy but some of us don't take suttle hints. You have to put it right out there for the other to understand. If you are beating around the bush about not being happy or that there is a problem then it really doesnt resolve much if you are not just coming straight out and being like Hey, this is the problem.

People grow and change. Its not anyones fault. Someone that you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread might not be the same person 2, 3 years down the road. And like I said that is no ones fault. People grow and whether you grow and change together is all part of being compatible and being for each other. Sometimes you grow and change and go different directions, thats ok.. its called life and taking what you learned from that person, that relationship and moving on and taking what you learned to the next.

Relationships are always gonna have their moments.. good and bad.. when it gets to a point when there is more bad and you cant remember the good and you think that you have done what you can to salvage the relationship and nothing is working, then it might be time to move on. When you have become a totally different person and don't even know yourself anymore and are just not happy, might be time to move on. I think too many times when relationships last a lot longer than they should, people blind themselves to the actual reality of what is going on. They tend to think that unfixable problems can be fixed and they hang on to that hope that things will get better cause this person is the one, or they don't want to be alone or whatever reason.

I'm no relationship expert but, its hard when going through a break up.. and things will get alot harder before they get better, but they DO get better..


PROPS to you smarty pants!!!!!! Good post.

[silver]

this is what the argument is about right now. i JUST told her what was on my mind, with no beating around the bush and BAM explosion to hell.

Comunication is a big thing in a relationship.. if Communication is important to you and she cant handle it when you are being honest with her about how you feel then you might want to rethink the fact that unless she starts communicating better you will never be able to talk to her, eventually probably leading to you never talking to her about something that is bothering you, you bottleing it up inside and then probably ending up a bigger problem than it should of been and just overall not happy...

A good book to read.. if you really want to make this work.. or maybe even a last resort.. is "The Five Love Laguages" Going through my last break up, I started reading this book and I learned alot of things that probably would have done me alot of good if I had read it along time ago, lol.. I basically learned that when in a relationship its give and take and there are things that each person needs in order to compromise almost.. It might even be a good book to sit and read with her.. Just a thought

[william_jeff]

Comunication is a big thing in a relationship.. if Communication is important to you and she cant handle it when you are being honest with her about how you feel then you might want to rethink the fact that unless she starts communicating better you will never be able to talk to her, eventually probably leading to you never talking to her about something that is bothering you, you bottleing it up inside and then probably ending up a bigger problem than it should of been and just overall not happy...

THIS IS MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY...i've went through that with my mother, she caused me to be that way and it almost seems like i'm heading down the same exact path again to bottling all my emotions inside and not talking, I DONT WANT THAT.

[Killer]

when you leg hump girls all day on IA under a different screen name.....

[Jaimecbr900]

Kelly is right, Tracy is right, and women are just plain nuts sometimes so you have to deal with it....;)


Seriously, how long have you been with this girl?

You have to access the situation from the angle of positives vs negatives. Like Kelly said, if the negatives out weight the positives.....like Bill Engvall says....."Therrrreeessss your sign!!!". If you are an honest person, there's no clean no hurt way to undo this situation. It's gonna be painful, but if it's necessary in the long run it will work out for the best.

[Killer]

seriously, don't let this fag fool you guys.... IT'S PHATBOISLIM!!!! the biggest ia leg humpin son of a bitch there is...

[Jaimecbr900]

seriously, don't let this fag fool you guys.... IT'S PHATBOISLIM!!!! the biggest ia leg humpin son of a bitch there is...

I know it is, but maybe he's just feeling a little emo today and we're trying to help him out. ;) :D

[silver]

Kelly is right, Tracy is right, and women are just plain nuts sometimes so you have to deal with it....;)


Seriously, how long have you been with this girl?

You have to access the situation from the angle of positives vs negatives. Like Kelly said, if the negatives out weight the positives.....like Bill Engvall says....."Therrrreeessss your sign!!!". If you are an honest person, there's no clean no hurt way to undo this situation. It's gonna be painful, but if it's necessary in the long run it will work out for the best.

You mean Heather??? lol or was there a Kelly in this thread?? lol

[Killer]

I know it is, but maybe he's just feeling a little emo today and we're trying to help him out. ;) :D


well, maybe he should MAN up, not hit on other girls.. then maybe try talkin to his girl... until then he needs to shut his pussy mouth and deal with his own problems.. and keep his shit out of others.

[Jaimecbr900]

You mean Heather??? lol or was there a Kelly in this thread?? lol

My bad Heather.....and I called you Kelly not once, but twice....:doh: . Sorry. :(

[81911SC]

Yea ask pbs Jeff. He will know.

[silver]

My bad Heather.....and I called you Kelly not once, but twice....:doh: . Sorry. :(

Lol its ok.. well maybe.. I will forgive you if you ever send me those pictures, lol

[Sammich]

killer gtfo stfu and ask ur girl of the txt that she sent me initially ite before i started 'leghumpin' ur 'gf'...thanks for all the look outs in this thread all is taken into consideration +8 to all minus the oblivious killer

[Killer]

killer gtfo stfu and ask ur girl of the txt that she sent me initially ite before i started 'leghumpin' ur 'gf'...thanks for all the look outs in this thread all is taken into consideration +8 to all minus the oblivious killer

lol... ok

[Sammich]

did u ask?

[Killer]

u've got a pm ******

[gtikid]

There are lots of things.. Sometimes you just know... Try to work out your problems, talk about them, maybe the other person doesnt know, I mean one has to know that the other isnt happy but some of us don't take suttle hints. You have to put it right out there for the other to understand. If you are beating around the bush about not being happy or that there is a problem then it really doesnt resolve much if you are not just coming straight out and being like Hey, this is the problem.

People grow and change. Its not anyones fault. Someone that you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread might not be the same person 2, 3 years down the road. And like I said that is no ones fault. People grow and whether you grow and change together is all part of being compatible and being for each other. Sometimes you grow and change and go different directions, thats ok.. its called life and taking what you learned from that person, that relationship and moving on and taking what you learned to the next.

Relationships are always gonna have their moments.. good and bad.. when it gets to a point when there is more bad and you cant remember the good and you think that you have done what you can to salvage the relationship and nothing is working, then it might be time to move on. When you have become a totally different person and don't even know yourself anymore and are just not happy, might be time to move on. I think too many times when relationships last a lot longer than they should, people blind themselves to the actual reality of what is going on. They tend to think that unfixable problems can be fixed and they hang on to that hope that things will get better cause this person is the one, or they don't want to be alone or whatever reason.

I'm no relationship expert but, its hard when going through a break up.. and things will get alot harder before they get better, but they DO get better..

Wow that is probably the best advice in this thread... :goodjob: That was very very very well expressed...

[cactusEG]

when theres nothing left..

[kppk1986]

when you find yourself not being happy with the person your with.

[Tasuki_Civic]

When you have to ask THIS question......:D ;)
:lmfao: **ding ding ding ding ding***!!!!!!!

You have just won a brand new car of your choice with any and every accessory you heart desires.

[Tasuki_Civic]

what about those times when you say you call it quits then you see you made a mistake then go back?

what if fear of 'making a mistake' scares you from saying...

'its over'

thats means
your a pussy

when it comes out with ease to say its over. lol thats how you really feel.

listen that instead of all that other bullshit that runs thru your head. many pple get caught up cause its convenient.

[DJ Raijin]

You need to talk to her and if she avoids this conversation, you can expect to avoid any future convos also. I say back off for a while. Take a break. BOTH of you. See if this is who you want to be with.

9 times outta 10, a break means the end. Especially at younger ages (IE below 25).

If you are to the point where you are considering breaking up or you're wondering if you should or if it's worth staying together, break it off now before shit gets too deep to crawl out of.