Brett
07-20-2007, 07:28 AM
I, or anyone else who lives in ATL or has ever been to ATL especially
>driving on I-285 (my weekday commute), can verify most of the items below.
>I can certainly vouch for #'s 2, 3, 7 and 9. There has been a detour
>on the street by my house since March 14th with the sign "Bridge Out Ahead"
>Every time I call the Dept. of Transportation at 8:00a.m. I get the
>recording our office is closed and opens at 8:30a.m. When happened to
>government offices opening at 8:00a.m.? If I call one of the News
>Channel investigation teams then I'm sure the road would be reopened
>within 1-2 days (ha,ha,ha).
>
>HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA
>
>1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Etlanna.
>
>2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
>is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
>
>3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. Anything
>less is considered "Wussy" and you could be charged with impeding the
>flow of traffic.
>
>4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Atlanta has its own
>version of traffic rules. For example, cars or trucks with the loudest
>muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
>go second. However, in Roswell & Alpharetta, SUV-driving, cell
>phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>
>5. If you actually stop at a caution light, you will be rear ended,
>cussed out, and possibly shot.
>
>
>6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
>get you shot.
>
> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Atlanta
>and surrounding counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your
>entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next
>day's driving a bit more exciting.
>
> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
>cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell
>phone users, deer and other road kill, and the buzzards feeding on any of these items.
>
> 9. MapQuest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say
>they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway on and off
>ramps are moved each night.
>
>10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
>shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
>activated."
>
> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph
>zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
>accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
>
>
> 12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for
>Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments and right
>after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
>
>13. Above all else, enjoy your driving experience, because if you
>actually
>get where you are going on time, everybody else will be late.
>driving on I-285 (my weekday commute), can verify most of the items below.
>I can certainly vouch for #'s 2, 3, 7 and 9. There has been a detour
>on the street by my house since March 14th with the sign "Bridge Out Ahead"
>Every time I call the Dept. of Transportation at 8:00a.m. I get the
>recording our office is closed and opens at 8:30a.m. When happened to
>government offices opening at 8:00a.m.? If I call one of the News
>Channel investigation teams then I'm sure the road would be reopened
>within 1-2 days (ha,ha,ha).
>
>HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA
>
>1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Etlanna.
>
>2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
>is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
>
>3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. Anything
>less is considered "Wussy" and you could be charged with impeding the
>flow of traffic.
>
>4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Atlanta has its own
>version of traffic rules. For example, cars or trucks with the loudest
>muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
>go second. However, in Roswell & Alpharetta, SUV-driving, cell
>phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>
>5. If you actually stop at a caution light, you will be rear ended,
>cussed out, and possibly shot.
>
>
>6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
>get you shot.
>
> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Atlanta
>and surrounding counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your
>entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next
>day's driving a bit more exciting.
>
> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
>cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell
>phone users, deer and other road kill, and the buzzards feeding on any of these items.
>
> 9. MapQuest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say
>they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway on and off
>ramps are moved each night.
>
>10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
>shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
>activated."
>
> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph
>zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
>accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
>
>
> 12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for
>Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments and right
>after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
>
>13. Above all else, enjoy your driving experience, because if you
>actually
>get where you are going on time, everybody else will be late.