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Brett
06-20-2007, 09:06 AM
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!












The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. She is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. She is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now....

The Yousef
06-20-2007, 09:10 AM
:lmfao:

sometimes i think my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep.... :eek:

Killer
06-20-2007, 09:12 AM
LOL!!! hilarious!

Ed
06-20-2007, 09:14 AM
lmao thats funny...

but a repost from 1930...

lol +1

Nomad!
06-20-2007, 09:30 AM
Bad kitty!

Brett
06-20-2007, 10:06 AM
:lmfao:

sometimes i think my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep.... :eek:

us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs :lmfao:

Mike Lowrey
06-20-2007, 11:22 AM
:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:

kelly marie
06-20-2007, 11:36 AM
hahahahaha

ep9716
06-20-2007, 12:00 PM
LMAO....Dogs FTW...I Don't Like Cats That Much..Funny As Hell +1

ironchef
06-20-2007, 12:11 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOfCCtG6fDg Cats FTL.

thepolecat
06-20-2007, 12:14 PM
that sounds like one of my cats- but my other cat seems more like the dog one- weird

Leisa
06-20-2007, 01:01 PM
us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs :lmfao:




its not that he tries to kill you when you walk up the stairs.. he wants to see between the two of you which one can reach the top of the stairs quick... its always him that wins. :)

Psycho
06-20-2007, 02:10 PM
funny stuff

Brett
06-21-2007, 07:53 AM
its not that he tries to kill you when you walk up the stairs.. he wants to see between the two of you which one can reach the top of the stairs quick... its always him that wins. :)

WHATEVER!!! HE WANTS TO KILL ME

BlkCD5
06-21-2007, 07:58 AM
He could cause brett to trip, causing him to fall down the stairs

Brett
06-21-2007, 12:18 PM
Damn straight

Mike Lowrey
06-21-2007, 12:23 PM
He could cause brett to trip, causing him to fall down the stairs

Hmmmmmmm.......

*I need to have a talk with Vtec*

Z0_o6
06-21-2007, 10:10 PM
fucking hilarious!

Driftk1d350z
06-22-2007, 12:56 AM
LMAO

BlkCD5
06-22-2007, 12:02 PM
originally posted by richw131

Hmmmmmmm.......

*I need to have a talk with Vtec*



:???:

death®
06-22-2007, 12:04 PM
I hate dogs and cats

collins
06-22-2007, 12:05 PM
us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs :lmfao: that damn uniballer!!

Mike Lowrey
06-22-2007, 12:45 PM
:???:

That is the name of Brett's cat.

Leisa
06-22-2007, 01:14 PM
us cat owners crack up at this Im sure, I know my cat tries to kill me when I walk up the stairs :lmfao:



How could something that looks this sweet wanna kill anyone?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b161/Leisa0567/vtec.jpg