Baby?? No daddy...

[SLOWLYbtngU]

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.

[The BUCKY]

i am fertile. i know from experience


















i have a feeling that will be most popular answer on here

[SLOWLYbtngU]

i am fertile. i know from experience



i have a feeling that will be most popular answer on here

I figured that I would get that too... Partially why I posted it here instead of the WL.

[efman]

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.
i think that the child is much better with two parents, a kid needs a father and a mother in the picture to mature properly, i dont think it would be fair to the kid (especially if its a boy) to not give it a chance to have a father. thats what i think

[quickdodge®]

I'm with efman. I think it would be a very selfish and wrong decision to do what you are wanting to do. I posted, just the other day about the causes and effects on one parent child raising. I think you'd be doing the child a disservice. Later, QD.

[Bballjamal]

That would be a hard decision for most men! A lot would think, sweet, I can have sex with her and have no worries of anything, but at the same time, it'd be their child too, and they'd have that attachment! I don't know if I could handle that! I want to see and spend crazy amounts of time with my son (what im shooting for)!

[Clegger]

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

[Bballjamal]

And I agree with EfMan and QD also!

[Bballjamal]

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums


And that statement was dumb as fuck.................

[quickdodge®]

Here is what I posted in another thread:


Marriage has been shown to provide a safe haven and good moral upbringing for children. Children brought up in a married home are less likely to be brought up poor, uncivilized and irresponsible.

Later, QD.

[william_jeff]

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

reps

[Bruce Leroy]

Bad Idea. NO matter how capable you are of raising a child by yourself, Its better for the child to have both parents in their life. NO matter what anyone says, having one parent is not the same as having 2.

[Clegger]

oh geeze i forgot how easily people are offended on this site

truthfully slowlybtngu you should look at adopting, and what is your reason about not liking artificial insemination??

[efman]

Here is what I posted in another thread:



Later, QD.
thats a good quote qd, reps to you !

[SLOWLYbtngU]

To the all of the men (Clegger this does not include you) that responded honestly and genuinely, thank you. I was really wanting a male perspective. Considering that most of the comments that I received previously were biased b/c they came from my friends. I needed other points of view (except for you Clegger.)


Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums


Listen love, you can call me a selfish bitch all you want but in all honesty it must have been your mother that was a selfish bitch when it came to showing you how you speak to a lady. If you thought that your response was going to be met with kudos and cheers you are a worthless piece of shit that thrives on the attention you receive on the interwebs. OoOoOo..."Look at me, I came up with a good come back to some random bitch in a thread I didnt have to come into with my ignorance." I am glad that you came into it and posted. You showed your ignorance and how you were a waste of sperm and egg for your parents. Your mom should have swallowed you. At least then you would have come out as what you were destined to be...Shit.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

Thank you again to the responses. QD yours does mean the most to me because I have read your other stuff previously talking about your kids and their achievements. Now at the same time, do you think that it is possible to have two people come together and raise a child even though they have no relationship (other than friendship) amongst themselves?

[Clegger]

Listen love, you can call me a selfish bitch all you want but in all honesty it must have been your mother that was a selfish bitch when it came to showing you how you speak to a lady. If you thought that your response was going to be met with kudos and cheers you are a worthless piece of shit that thrives on the attention you receive on the interwebs. OoOoOo..."Look at me, I came up with a good come back to some random bitch in a thread I didnt have to come into with my ignorance." I am glad that you came into it and posted. You showed your ignorance and how you were a waste of sperm and egg for your parents. Your mom should have swallowed you. At least then you would have come out as what you were destined to be...Shit.

No I did not come on here striving for attention I made that comment because sleeping with a homeless guy would probably be the best outcome for what you are looking for.

No guys out there are going to willingly get a woman pregnant if they cant be a part of it. I was actually shocked and outraged by your comment that it drove me to say what I had to say.

That someone can be so selfish to use another man just to produce a kid and then shut them out like they are nothing. Other people who posted think the same thing they just said nice words... I didn't. Get over it

And if you think taking a stab at my late mother (RIP May 20th 2007) is an appropriate thing in your book. You are just as ignorant

[Bballjamal]

wOOt, I love my real chicks on IA! I have no problem with you clegger, but that was just a dumb statement on a more serious topic of this site!

[quickdodge®]

QD yours does mean the most to me because I have read your other stuff previously talking about your kids and their achievements.

I appreciate that, but I don't want to take all the credit for saying the same thing that others have posted.


Now at the same time, do you think that it is possible to have two people come together and raise a child even though they have no relationship (other than friendship) amongst themselves?

If I were forced into a "YES/NO" answer, I'd go, 100%, no. I think a situation like that would be very stressful for all 3 parties involved. As far as the child is concerned, he/she is going to realize the living accommodations going on(Mother and Father sleeping separate beds). This will be an awkward arrangement for the child to go through. He/she will come to realize that this is not your normal family growing up. A woman's feelings change drastically during pregnancy and after child birth. A woman is going to want to raise a family as a complete whole. Father, Mother and child. It's easy to think and type this now in the initial stages of a future plan, but as time progresses, and you too, things may change. It's all a part of the "mothering instinct."

I think it would be very hard and stressful to have a man and woman living in the same house as friends raising their child. And, as stated above and although probably easier than living together, having the man and woman living apart while both raising their child can be just as hard. On the child.

Now what I said can not be applied to all situations. But I can guarantee you the greater majority of it can be. Later, QD.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

No I did not come on here striving for attention I made that comment because sleeping with a homeless guy would probably be the best outcome for what you are looking for.

No guys out there are going to willingly get a woman pregnant if they cant be a part of it. I was actually shocked and outraged by your comment that it drove me to say what I had to say.

That someone can be so selfish to use another man just to produce a kid and then shut them out like they are nothing. Other people who posted think the same thing they just said nice words... I didn't. Get over it

And if you think taking a stab at my late mother (RIP May 20th 2007) is an appropriate thing in your book. You are just as ignorant

I made my comment the same way you made yours...Out of my ignorance because I know as much about you as you know about me. You can be outraged and upset, but at the same time you should probably read thoroughly before responding. I asked for advice, not to be belittled. I wanted honesty and no bullshit, which you provided of so adaquetly. I took a stab at your mom the same way you took a stab at me without knowing me. Dont get your e-feelings hurt homey. If you start something you should be able to finish it. Dont be a pansy now. Take it like a man..Oh wait we established that you arent one. How about just get the fuck over it and get the fuck out???

[Killer]

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.


i'm not even gonna bother reading the posts in this thread..

this is one of the most efed up things i've ever heard...
who are you to decide that your child doesn't need a father?!?!?!?!?

seriously one of the most retarded threads/ideas i've ever seen....

[quickdodge®]

i'm not even gonna bother reading the posts in this thread..

this is one of the most efed up things i've ever heard...
who are you to decide that your child doesn't need a father?!?!?!?!?

seriously one of the most retarded threads/ideas i've ever seen....

Wow. Judging another. How appropriate. Later, QD.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

I appreciate that, but I don't want to take all the credit for saying the same thing that others have posted.



If I were forced into a "YES/NO" answer, I'd go, 100%, no. I think a situation like that would be very stressful for all 3 parties involved. As far as the child is concerned, he/she is going to realize the living accommodations going on(Mother and Father sleeping separate beds). This will be an awkward arrangement for the child to go through. He/she will come to realize that this is not your normal family growing up. A woman's feelings change drastically during pregnancy and after child birth. A woman is going to want to raise a family as a complete whole. Father, Mother and child. It's easy to think and type this now in the initial stages of a future plan, but as time progresses, and you too, things may change. It's all a part of the "mothering instinct."

I think it would be very hard and stressful to have a man and woman living in the same house as friends raising their child. And, as stated above and although probably easier than living together, having the man and woman living apart while both raising their child can be just as hard. On the child.

Now what I said can not be applied to all situations. But I can guarantee you the greater majority of it can be. Later, QD.

Thanks man. I have thought this all out and while yes I have doubts and insecurities, I did need to hear other people's opinions. Considering that normally friends to tell me what I want to hear I needed to hear opinions of those outside my circle.

Thanks again...Oh and Killer...Maybe you should read the posts.

[Killer]

Wow. Judging another. How appropriate. Later, QD.

show me again where i judged anyone???


pretty sure i said retarded thread/idea.... not person....

[Killer]

Thanks again...Oh and Killer...Maybe you should read the posts.

why??? you're point is you want to raise a child and not deal with the father.... if there was more to it than that you would have posted it in the original thread, and explained yourself there...

i'm not saying you're a bad person.... at all.... you may have your reasons for not wanting a man around...

i just think it's an extremely stupid idea to purposely raise a child without a father.

[quickdodge®]

show me again where i judged anyone???


pretty sure i said retarded thread/idea.... not person....

Nevermind. I guess I should have made it easier to understand. Carry on. Later, QD.

[cornercarver78]

Why don't you look for a guy that you would like to spend your life with that you think would also be a good father? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but it just sound like you've given up trying to find the right guy.

[Killer]

Nevermind. I guess I should have made it easier to understand. Carry on. Later, QD.

yeah... maybe....

[Killer]

Why don't you look for a guy that you would like to spend your life with that you think would also be a good father? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but it just sound like you've given up trying to find the right guy.


^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....


why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

[SLOWLYbtngU]

why??? you're point is you want to raise a child and not deal with the father.... if there was more to it than that you would have posted it in the original thread, and explained yourself there...

i'm not saying you're a bad person.... at all.... you may have your reasons for not wanting a man around...

i just think it's an extremely stupid idea to purposely raise a child without a father.

I do not need the father in the picture but I did state in the original post that he is welcome to be a part of the child's life. It is more of a statement where I am making sure that it is noted I am not tryin to "trap" a guy into being with me. That is why I said you should read.

[quickdodge®]

^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....


why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

Why not try to post and give advice instead of being, ...well....your usual Christian acting self? I'm way worse/better than you are at providing witty, intelligent, well thought out, rep-receiving sarcastic posts than you and even I know how to be serious and post accordingly to a simple query. Later, QD.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

Why don't you look for a guy that you would like to spend your life with that you think would also be a good father? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but it just sound like you've given up trying to find the right guy.

I havent given up on men, I have given up on "searching." I am fine right now, I have a great family, great friends, I dont really see the problem of being a single mother. I made this thread asking for advice because I am a little unorthodox in my thinking and figured that I could see what other people thought. I am not a man hater or anything of the sort...I am thinking about it and considering it, but wanted more opinions.. Wow and i think I repeated myself all throughout this thread. I am still young, I know that love is possible.

[william_jeff]

cornercarver makes a valid point also, it seems like the thought of meeting someone that you would like to spend the rest of your life with, you have cast off to the side. i believe that if you regain that 'feeling' that you can/will meet someone you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, you will wait for that person to have a child with.

IMO it's all about patience right now and whether you can wait to have your own child. Having children can be a wonderful thing for you, but it can be an even more wonderful for the child, to have both mother AND father in their life. I grew up without a father, not because my mother or I wanted to, but because of an untimely death. I grew up without a father since the age of 6 and i wish many days that i had a father that was there with me. Granted it was no ones fault in this situation, but you have the choice that you can make, to not forsake your child the opportunity and privilege, that you can control to have that father in their life.

[quickdodge®]

the man with 2 first names makes a good point. I know you may not want to spill all your life's thoughts and goals, but is marriage something you have already told yourself is out of the question? Honestly(if this is the case), I would only see this ringing true for one thing. You don't want to settle down with a man because you like the single, party lifestyle. Not a thing wrong that, but if you do like that and don't want to give it up, a child is NOT what you need to be thinking of. A child is going to need you to hang up those days.

But if you do see a chance of you getting married and raising a child, that's what you should wait on. Later, QD.

[Killer]

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.

i do apologize for not seeing this remark.... i read over the post 3 times before i posted, and i missed it everytime...
honestly... my mistake.




Why not try to post and give advice instead of being, ...well....your usual Christian acting self?.

first off this has nothing to do with my religion, and has everything to do with how my mother tried to keep my sister and i from our father... and even used us to hurt our father. had him arrested for showing up to pick us up on the weekends (as he was supposed to be doing... she would call him and say "come get the kids, they're ready" and then tell the police a different story and have them waiting on him. my parents have been divorced longer than i can remember... (i was a baby.. not sure my age.. like no more than a year) and i know first hand what it's like to have to go without seeing my father... and missing that male role model for quite some time as a child.



I'm way worse/better than you are at providing witty, intelligent, well thought out, rep-receiving sarcastic posts than you and even I know how to be serious and post accordingly to a simple query. Later, QD.


you want a cookie?

[william_jeff]

QD is in hate mode and wishes he had my name lol

back no topic:D

[Killer]

cornercarver makes a valid point also, it seems like the thought of meeting someone that you would like to spend the rest of your life with, you have cast off to the side. i believe that if you regain that 'feeling' that you can/will meet someone you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, you will wait for that person to have a child with.

IMO it's all about patience right now and whether you can wait to have your own child. Having children can be a wonderful thing for you, but it can be an even more wonderful for the child, to have both mother AND father in their life. I grew up without a father, not because my mother or I wanted to, but because of an untimely death. I grew up without a father since the age of 6 and i wish many days that i had a father that was there with me. Granted it was no ones fault in this situation, but you have the choice that you can make, to not forsake your child the opportunity and privilege, that you can control to have that father in their life.

agreed

[SLOWLYbtngU]

^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....


why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

Why not? You do realize that marriage is not for everyone and at the same time a possibility for everyone, right? I am a little bothered by the fact that everyone seems to see a family as consisting of a father and a mother and yet we all know that single parenthood is prevalent in America. The same country founded on Christianity and yet we cant seem to keep marriages together...Hmm.

I am taking many opinions into consideration but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time and at the same time it is something that is frowned upon in society. I love how some of these posts make it seem like I am cold-hearted and a bitch, yet I am the one asking for advice instead of just going out and doing as I please and calling the future father a "sucker" when I get what I want.

I know that I am going to be judged in life and that isnt a problem for me, but at the same time please look at yourself first. I have yet to act on anything that I am typing and yet I am being judged by Bible pushers that live their life fornicating and participating in things that Jesus wouldnt be too proud of...But it is ok... "Cast the first stone," right?? (and killer this isnt just for you.)

[josh green]

Honestly there are just some things that children need to learn or experience with its father. I mean, what guy doesnt remember looking up to your dad and wanting to be just like him when you were little. (That is assuming that your parents stayed together for quite some years.) Camping, fishing, cars, sports, and other things that are more important. None of which my father did with me or my brothers until we were 14yrs of age or so. I feel that I learned a lot of my life lessons from my father. Some things that my mom just couldnt do with us. I feel that a father figure is also a sign of discipline for a child, I know when I got in trouble it was my father that took care of business. I think PROPER discipline is a huge factor in a childs behavior, and I am a FIRM believer in spanking. There were plenty of time my ass got beaten, but my parents never beat my ass. I would say that a child needs a father figure AT LEAST until they are in their teens. Watching my little cousins grow up (ages 19 months, 2 and 4 all girls) they really need their father and have a different love for both parents.
If you dont mind me asking or have previously stated, what is the reasoning behind not wanting the father around?

I think this is on topic?...

P.S. I am not a very religious person and could not care about marriage.

[quickdodge®]

first off this has nothing to do with my religion, and has everything to do with how my mother tried to keep my sister and i from our father... and even used us to hurt our father. had him arrested for showing up to pick us up on the weekends (as he was supposed to be doing... she would call him and say "come get the kids, they're ready" and then tell the police a different story and have them waiting on him. my parents have been divorced longer than i can remember... (i was a baby.. not sure my age.. like no more than a year) and i know first hand what it's like to have to go without seeing my father... and missing that male role model for quite some time as a child.

You break my GODdamn heart. You thought you had it bad, huh? I wonder what it'd be like if my Father left my Mom, sister and I and got married to another woman. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father had two more children with that lady not a year later. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father then came back and got a divorce from my Mom. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father then went to court and willingly disowned my sister and I so that he wouldn't have to have anything to do with us. I wonder what it'd be like if after we moved on(here to GA-2100 miles) if my Father and his new family moved across country and ended up living 15 minutes from us until the day he died without never hearing a word since I was 1 year old. I wonder how that woul........oooops, my bad. I know exactly how that feels. So save your sob stories for someone who hasn't had it worse. Later, QD.

[Killer]

Why not? You do realize that marriage is not for everyone and at the same time a possibility for everyone, right? I am a little bothered by the fact that everyone seems to see a family as consisting of a father and a mother and yet we all know that single parenthood is prevalent in America. The same country founded on Christianity and yet we cant seem to keep marriages together...Hmm.

I am taking many opinions into consideration but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time and at the same time it is something that is frowned upon in society. I love how some of these posts make it seem like I am cold-hearted and a bitch, yet I am the one asking for advice instead of just going out and doing as I please and calling the future father a "sucker" when I get what I want.

I know that I am going to be judged in life and that isnt a problem for me, but at the same time please look at yourself first. I have yet to act on anything that I am typing and yet I am being judged by Bible pushers that live their life fornicating and participating in things that Jesus wouldnt be too proud of...But it is ok... "Cast the first stone," right?? (and killer this isnt just for you.)


again, i'm not basing anything i said on religion.... and i'm not saying a child can't grow up to be a great person.. they can... and i've seen many that have...

but for that child there will always be something missing,(i've seen it, and dealt with it) i don't know if you had or didn't have both of your parents... for the most part i've had mine.. they were divorced though.. and it wasn't a pretty one at that..... there were many times i "wished" my dad was there to show me how to do this, or teach me how to do that.... let me work on his car with him... the things a father should be doing.. and as a child i was robbed of a lot of that.... there were times i was with my father as a young child.. and i did get to do some of the things a son should do with his dad.... so i'm not asking for a pity party.. just giving my insight.... like i said, i completely missed where you said the father could be in the childs life.... i read over it more than once, don't ask how, but i did...

[quickdodge®]

but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time

As in a previous post of mine, I stated that it does happen. But the chances are very slim. It is shown/proven that children reared in single parent homes are more likely to end up on the wrong side of the tracks. I won't judge you for your decision. But I hope you reconsider. Later, QD.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

cornercarver makes a valid point also, it seems like the thought of meeting someone that you would like to spend the rest of your life with, you have cast off to the side. i believe that if you regain that 'feeling' that you can/will meet someone you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, you will wait for that person to have a child with.

IMO it's all about patience right now and whether you can wait to have your own child. Having children can be a wonderful thing for you, but it can be an even more wonderful for the child, to have both mother AND father in their life. I grew up without a father, not because my mother or I wanted to, but because of an untimely death. I grew up without a father since the age of 6 and i wish many days that i had a father that was there with me. Granted it was no ones fault in this situation, but you have the choice that you can make, to not forsake your child the opportunity and privilege, that you can control to have that father in their life.

Thank you. I realize that my post makes it seem as if though I want the kid like tomorrow. I am more looking for opinions, information, and different options. I have not ruled out adoption either. I have volunteered at a couple of foster homes through the children's hospital that I work with and have definately seen the need for parents in these kids' lives.

[BluesClues]

I have to agree with majority in this thread. It is extremely hard and tough on the child growing up without a father. My father died when I was two. I constantly envy those with both mother and father. I will never know what it feels like to call someone daddy. To be "daddy's little girl." I want those things so bad that my heart hurts. I feel that there are so many things in life I missed out on because my father isn't around. You know, the special moments only a father and daughter can have. Plus I have a sister I have never met and probably will never meet. You have to also consider that. Do they have other children? Will my child get to meet them? It's a lot of factors in that equation. I just don't think it is a good idea. If you want your child to be happy, give them what they will need and will be thankful for in the future. Think about it

[DinanM3atl]

This is quite possibly the dumbest thread I have ever read...

You obviously have a couple options... This is a BIG choice and something it sounds like you need to think of yourself because you are completed confused.

1. Artificial... I don't know what the problem is but this is the ONLY way you are going to find the situation you are looking for

2. Dad will be in the kids life(good thing)


I don't know where you are going to find someone to just have sex with you and "trying" to get a kid... I don't think many dudes would like to be in the situation... HELL maybe you are trying to set someone up for some child support... That is just fucked up...

[SLOWLYbtngU]

the man with 2 first names makes a good point. I know you may not want to spill all your life's thoughts and goals, but is marriage something you have already told yourself is out of the question? Honestly(if this is the case), I would only see this ringing true for one thing. You don't want to settle down with a man because you like the single, party lifestyle. Not a thing wrong that, but if you do like that and don't want to give it up, a child is NOT what you need to be thinking of. A child is going to need you to hang up those days.

But if you do see a chance of you getting married and raising a child, that's what you should wait on. Later, QD.

I may not be the typical (girly girl) female on here, but of course I would love to get married. I would love to one day have a husband to call my own. I have not ruled that out and have considered how having a child would work against me when it comes to finding a mate.

[Killer]

You break my GODdamn heart. You thought you had it bad, huh? I wonder what it'd be like if my Father left my Mom, sister and I and got married to another woman. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father had two more children with that lady not a year later. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father then came back and got a divorce from my Mom. I wonder what it'd be like if my Father then went to court and willingly disowned my sister and I so that he wouldn't have to have anything to do with us. I wonder what it'd be like if after we moved on(here to GA-2100 miles) if my Father and his new family moved across country and ended up living 15 minutes from us until the day he died without never hearing a word since I was 1 year old. I wonder how that woul........oooops, my bad. I know exactly how that feels. So save your sob stories for someone who hasn't had it worse. Later, QD.

first of all, this isn't a fucking competition to see who the hell had it worse! and i never said i had it worse than anyone!!! i'm telling her that growing up with out a dad is rough, and i know that because i've dealt with it first hand.... and that i'm not basing my thoughts on the situation because i grew up in church being taught that way(because i did not grow up in church) at all....

everyone has different situations qd.... some harder than others... i'm sorry you had to read part of mine, and that it wasn't worse than yours.... you sir are a fucking tool... and i personally, am tired of hearing your sob stories as well... every chance you get you tell one, and let us all know how much of a west coast gangsta you were, and how hard your life has been. yet when someone else throws some insight out there it's not good enough cause it doesn't compare to your story!?!?!?!?

[quickdodge®]

I would love to one day have a husband to call my own.

Thread needs to be locked here. If you really want that in your future. Then, by no means, do not go through with your thoughts currently. Wait. I promise you will NOT regret the decision and your life and your child and possibly your husband will all thank you. Over and over again. Later, QD.

[quickdodge®]

first of all, this isn't a fucking competition to see who the hell had it worse! and i never said i had it worse than anyone!!! i'm telling her that growing up with out a dad is rough, and i know that because i've dealt with it first hand.... and that i'm not basing my thoughts on the situation because i grew up in church being taught that way(because i did not grow up in church) at all....

everyone has different situations qd.... some harder than others... i'm sorry you had to read part of mine, and that it wasn't worse than yours.... you sir are a fucking tool... and i personally, am tired of hearing your sob stories as well... every chance you get you tell one, and let us all know how much of a west coast gangsta you were, and how hard your life has been. yet when someone else throws some insight out there it's not good enough cause it doesn't compare to your story!?!?!?!?

You say something that was worth a shit?



Hmmm...

I didn't think you did. I'm sure the people with good insight and posting skills all thank you for destroying a decently took topic. Later, QD.

[Killer]

I may not be the typical (girly girl) female on here, but of course I would love to get married. I would love to one day have a husband to call my own. I have not ruled that out and have considered how having a child would work against me when it comes to finding a mate.

then wait.... imho it's the best thing to do.

[william_jeff]

Why not? You do realize that marriage is not for everyone and at the same time a possibility for everyone, right? I am a little bothered by the fact that everyone seems to see a family as consisting of a father and a mother and yet we all know that single parenthood is prevalent in America. The same country founded on Christianity and yet we cant seem to keep marriages together...Hmm.

single parenthood for the most part though is unvoluntary. some cases either a father/mother dies, divorce resulting in custody issues, is incarcerated(sp?), or just doesn't care at all about the child. i know of little cases where someone outright says before ever being pregnant that the father doesn't have to be a part of the situation, that they just want a child. most cases where i hear this is when someone already has a person in mind that they would love/like to spend the rest of their life with, not just a 'donor' as it were.


I am taking many opinions into consideration but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time and at the same time it is something that is frowned upon in society. I love how some of these posts make it seem like I am cold-hearted and a bitch, yet I am the one asking for advice instead of just going out and doing as I please and calling the future father a "sucker" when I get what I want.

There are many cases where fatherless children grow up to be successful, and there are also times where fatherless children grow up to be heathens. FORTUNATELY, i have beaten the odds and have been semisuccessful, and have not been a menace to society, as it were. I'm not looking at you as cold hearted, just stating my opinions, that waiting would be the best option.


I know that I am going to be judged in life and that isnt a problem for me, but at the same time please look at yourself first. I have yet to act on anything that I am typing and yet I am being judged by Bible pushers that live their life fornicating and participating in things that Jesus wouldnt be too proud of...But it is ok... "Cast the first stone," right?? (and killer this isnt just for you.)

*mouth zipped* pwnt

[Dirty Octopus™]

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.
You speak of fathers as if they are children themselves... or extra baggage if you will...
It's fine and dandy that you are in the i'm an independant woman and i dont need help from anyone club.
But... you have to give men a chance. We deal with the frivolities of women on a daily basis and carry on as normal. We say you can't live with them but the can't live without them always reigns. You and I both know this. Look at our parents... What if one decided to "not deal with the drama" that came with the other upon meeting?
I wouldn't have a father to love me and tell my mother how much he missed me when i moved out. Sure there have been a lot of bad times and a load of not seeing eye to eye but the potency of the Good Times soooo outweighs the bad.
You wouldn't have a father to help you in your MANY times of need at the drop of most every dime...
Sure our Mother's can do most everything themselves while our father's are gone but their deeds cannot be looked over.

Exactly what "drama" are you talking about?
It SEEMS as if you are indeed being selfish and just want everything YOUR way. YOU don't seem to want a man of any sort to tell YOU how to or help YOU raise YOUR child. And that's just not cool. :no:

[Killer]

You say something that was worth a shit?



Hmmm...

I didn't think you did. I'm sure the people with good insight and posting skills all thank you for destroying a decently took topic. Later, QD.

first off, i openly admitted my mistake to jos about not seeing where she said the father could be a part of the childs life, and completely changed my tone with her after that... you're the one keeping the bullshit going with your "i've had it worse than you" bull crap... i simply stated my situation, as did william_jeff telling us his father passed at an early age. and you had to (like always) be better/worse than everyone else.

now the bullshit will stop when YOU and I stop going back and forth, and letting the topic be the only thing we discuss....





again SlwlybtngU, i in no way am judging you, or think your child would grow up to be a horrible person... I do think that you will save the child a lot of stress, and drama if you wait to find a father for the child... not just a sperm donor.

[josh green]

I am not deterred by a woman that already has a child, its just the reaction that the child has to me that is scary. I mean, depending on its age how are you going to act towards it, try to be a father figure to it or not?... I think this also has to do with the age of a child. I know it would be hard for me to be disciplined by someone that wasnt my father if I was 6-8yrs of age or older.
I think that is what might scare someone off when they hear the other has a child.

[quickdodge®]

first off, i openly admitted my mistake to jos about not seeing where she said the father could be a part of the childs life, and completely changed my tone with her after that... you're the one keeping the bullshit going with your "i've had it worse than you" bull crap... i simply stated my situation, as did william_jeff telling us his father passed at an early age. and you had to (like always) be better/worse than everyone else.

Yes you did, but in that same post, you decided it best to keep the shit up and post back me instead of just ignoring it.


now the bullshit will stop when YOU and I stop going back and forth, and letting the topic be the only thing we discuss....


Keep your posts worthwhile and I won't say anything about it. Don't judge or assume if you're not going to find out all the facts. And no need to argue the previous sentence because you admitted that you just assumed. Later, QD.

[william_jeff]

again, i'm not basing anything i said on religion.... and i'm not saying a child can't grow up to be a great person.. they can... and i've seen many that have...

but for that child there will always be something missing,(i've seen it, and dealt with it) .... there were many times i "wished" my dad was there to show me how to do this, or teach me how to do that.... let me work on his car with him... the things a father should be doing.. and as a child i was robbed of a lot of that.... there were times i was with my father as a young child.. and i did get to do some of the things a son should do with his dad.... so i'm not asking for a pity party.. just giving my insight.... like i said, i completely missed where you said the father could be in the childs life.... i read over it more than once, don't ask how, but i did...

such a true post, edited for the same things i had to deal with


I have to agree with majority in this thread. It is extremely hard and tough on the child growing up without a father. My father died when I was two. I constantly envy those with both mother and father. I will never know what it feels like to call someone daddy. To be "daddy's little girl." I want those things so bad that my heart hurts. I feel that there are so many things in life I missed out on because my father isn't around. You know, the special moments only a father and daughter can have. Plus I have a sister I have never met and probably will never meet. You have to also consider that. Do they have other children? Will my child get to meet them? It's a lot of factors in that equation. I just don't think it is a good idea. If you want your child to be happy, give them what they will need and will be thankful for in the future. Think about it

quoted for truth also

IMO that child will grow up with thoughts of having their father in their life. i know my sister took it hard and so did my brother when my father died, even though i am the youngest, they still at the same time wish that dad was their.

[Jimmy B]

i agree with alot of the people in here a child NEEDS a father...

who are you to say that YOU dont want the child to have a father??? that proves you dont need a child!

you said that the nation was based on christianity, yes.. true, but "we" cant keep marriages together, its because a divorce is the easy out, jsut liek you are trying to do, with volountarly(sc) rasing a child with no father?? (God help your child if you have one)

i wish i read this topic sooner.. i would have alot more responces,.. all telling you that you are a dumbass

[Scrilla]

[QUOTE=Dirty Octopus

[Kyle]

i think that the child is much better with two parents, a kid needs a father and a mother in the picture to mature properly, i dont think it would be fair to the kid (especially if its a boy) to not give it a chance to have a father. thats what i think

I'm with efman. I think it would be a very selfish and wrong decision to do what you are wanting to do. I posted, just the other day about the causes and effects on one parent child raising. I think you'd be doing the child a disservice. Later, QD.
Agree with both of these guys.

Having a kid may be ideal for you, but it's not the right thing to do. Think of the kids future and his/her needs, not only your own.

[Scrilla]

[QUOTE=Dirty Octopus

[Black R]

I am not deterred by a woman that already has a child, its just the reaction that the child has to me that is scary. I mean, depending on its age how are you going to act towards it, try to be a father figure to it or not?... I think this also has to do with the age of a child. I know it would be hard for me to be disciplined by someone that wasnt my father if I was 6-8yrs of age or older.
I think that is what might scare someone off when they hear the other has a child.



J. Green, MILFhunter! :goodjob:

[SLOWLYbtngU]

Lol...To the people calling me a dumbass for asking advice....Jesus fucking christ...Do you realize that in the very first post I say that if the father wants to be a part of the childs life I am not the one to deny him that...I am jsut not going to force him to be around...Lol...You people humor me...You really do. Not all. Just some. I love how you come in here judging me and yet you are the same fuckers that post all kinds of ignorant ass bullshit in other forums... Why dont some you ask yourselves what makes up a family.

Forgive me for not being a uptight bitch and forcing the child's father to be in the picture...Forgive me for not wanting to remind the child on a daily basis that their father didnt want to be a part of their life. Forgive me for wanting some opinions and advice on a certain topic that I have considered. Thank you for calling me a dumbass because some of you are so fucking narrow minded that you dont even take into consideration that I am asking for advice and comments without the judgmental bullshit. For cryin out loud. State your opinion without attacking the person. Shit...Do some of you even realize how a discussion works? You break the subject down...Not the person..This isnt fucking war...IT is a discussion about what I have considered. Did I say it was today? No. Did I say it was tomorrow? No. What I did say is that I do want to have a child and it is up to the father whether or not they want to be a part of their life. What is so wrong in that? Is it the fact that I am a female saying that I am fully capable of providing a loving home without a father. Is it the fact that I am challenging society's beliefs on what constitutes a family? I mean seriously...How often are females used for only one thing and it is socially acceptable to certain people??? Would it not be the same thing for me to admit that all I need is male ejaculate so that I may conceive a child with no desire of keeping him in my life?

Who are you people to say what MY child will feel when we are all different.

For those of you that have shared your experiences, I am defiantely taking them into considerations but please dont make it seem like i dont know what it was like to not have a dad because my parents are still married. I know what it is like to grow up with a drug addict/alcoholic father that was rarely "around" mentally to realize I was around him physically. I know what it is like to go through my teenage years with my father in jail and have him blame me for the reason he is in jail. I also know what it is liek to be 18yrs old and have a father that wants to be there for me but it is too late. Hence, why I said it is up to the fahter to be in the picture...I will not force him to be...Please for crying out loud read the fucking posts before you share your fucked up ignorance.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

This is quite possibly the dumbest thread I have ever read...

have you been to whores lately? Have you heard of Kainejuice??? And this is the dumbest...Get the fuck outta here dude...You're crazy.... :screwy:

[SLOWLYbtngU]

You speak of fathers as if they are children themselves... or extra baggage if you will...
It's fine and dandy that you are in the i'm an independant woman and i dont need help from anyone club.
But... you have to give men a chance. We deal with the frivolities of women on a daily basis and carry on as normal. We say you can't live with them but the can't live without them always reigns. You and I both know this. Look at our parents... What if one decided to "not deal with the drama" that came with the other upon meeting?
I wouldn't have a father to love me and tell my mother how much he missed me when i moved out. Sure there have been a lot of bad times and a load of not seeing eye to eye but the potency of the Good Times soooo outweighs the bad.
You wouldn't have a father to help you in your MANY times of need at the drop of most every dime...
Sure our Mother's can do most everything themselves while our father's are gone but their deeds cannot be looked over.

Exactly what "drama" are you talking about?
It SEEMS as if you are indeed being selfish and just want everything YOUR way. YOU don't seem to want a man of any sort to tell YOU how to or help YOU raise YOUR child. And that's just not cool. :no:


Kashime..Read next time... please. It would have saved you typing time

[Tasuki_Civic]

Joss i feel the same way! believe me not! you can ask Jesse. i told him all about it. "I" personaly would want a relationship and all that lovelyness but lets be real...and not blind ourselves on what happens in alot of relationships.

so if it is your choice to make children without a relationship father. its totaly fine. you shouldnt feel bad about it. and dont let others tell you wrong.

on another note.....dont miss out on having a complete family only because you are mad at men.

lol but i agree with still

[SLOWLYbtngU]

Joss i feel the same way! believe me not! you can ask Jesse. i told him all about it. "I" personaly would want a relationship and all that lovelyness but lets be real...and not blind ourselves on what happens in alot of relationships.

so if it is your choice to make children without a relationship father. its totaly fine. you shouldnt feel bad about it. and dont let others tell you wrong.

on another note.....dont miss out on having a complete family only because you are mad at men.

lol but i agree with still

Yeah see that is the thing, everyone is taking it as I am some feminist type thing...It isnt that at all, I am not saying screw men...I love men...I love everything about them. I am just saying that even though my child may not have his dad in the picture I have plenty of strong males in my family that will be a part of my child's daily life...No it wont be the same as the child's father, but there will be men in my child's life that they can look up to.

::sigh::

I guess I am done until someon else posts up what a horrible selfish bitch i am....Because you know...They "read" it all... :no:

[Clegger]

oh god this has turned into the biggest sob story thread ive ever seen.

Im glad there are other people on here that think this is the most retarded thread. Almost as bad as that McDonalds should have a delivery service thread.

If the roles were reversed and I posted about how I wanted to get a girl pregnant and have a child and then not want the quote "drama" of having a mother in the picture I would have gotten so bashed.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

oh god this has turned into the biggest sob story thread ive ever seen.

Im glad there are other people on here that think this is the most retarded thread. Almost as bad as that McDonalds should have a delivery service thread.

If the roles were reversed and I posted about how I wanted to get a girl pregnant and have a child and then not want the quote "drama" of having a mother in the picture I would have gotten so bashed.
I am done responding to you on here..Check your pm's. Talk to me there...This isnt on topic so if you have something with me...PM me...Thank you.

:lmao: Dumbest thread...lol....

[tony]

oh god this has turned into the biggest sob story thread ive ever seen.

Im glad there are other people on here that think this is the most retarded thread. Almost as bad as that McDonalds should have a delivery service thread.

If the roles were reversed and I posted about how I wanted to get a girl pregnant and have a child and then not want the quote "drama" of having a mother in the picture I would have gotten so bashed.

I think its moreso about understanding the situation and understanding women. Don't know the OP at all but my sister went through the same thing, ended up having two daughters with the guy and I think all she wanted was the children. Was she selfish? Its my sister and its hard to say, on the outside looking in I'd say yes but seeing how happy she is.. its what she truly wanted in her heart, then again my sister is in her mid 30's, established and knew her time was running out.

My advice, think LONG and hard on this one.. a child changes your life drastically, some for the good and others for the worse. There isn't much room to make dumb decisions when you have a child that looks to you and only you. And like everyone else said, having both parents together does so much for a child.. having a stable loving home sets the standard for when they grow up and build their own relationship, it also helps with their confidence.

I could go on and on about it, I have a son out of wedlock and growing up I went through seeing my parents happy together.. then watch them go through divorce. Just be sure with whatever you choose that there is a strong male figure in your childs life.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

I think its moreso about understanding the situation and understanding women. Don't know the OP at all but my sister went through the same thing, ended up having two daughters with the guy and I think all she wanted was the children. Was she selfish? Its my sister and its hard to say, on the outside looking in I'd say yes but seeing how happy she is.. its what she truly wanted in her heart, then again my sister is in her mid 30's, established and knew her time was running out.

My advice, think LONG and hard on this one.. a child changes your life drastically, some for the good and others for the worse. There isn't much room to make dumb decisions when you have a child that looks to you and only you. And like everyone else said, having both parents together does so much for a child.. having a stable loving home sets the standard for when they grow up and build their own relationship, it also helps with their confidence.

I could go on and on about it, I have a son out of wedlock and growing up I went through seeing my parents happy together.. then watch them go through divorce. Just be sure with whatever you choose that there is a strong male figure in your childs life.


Thank you! That is all I can say...You were kind of a sigh of relief after all of the insults. Thank you.

[Tasuki_Civic]

Yeah see that is the thing, everyone is taking it as I am some feminist type thing...It isnt that at all, I am not saying screw men...I love men...I love everything about them. I am just saying that even though my child may not have his dad in the picture I have plenty of strong males in my family that will be a part of my child's daily life...No it wont be the same as the child's father, but there will be men in my child's life that they can look up to.

::sigh::

I guess I am done until someon else posts up what a horrible selfish bitch i am....Because you know...They "read" it all... :no:


I AM THE SAME WAY your not alone. everything doesnt have to be the "american way" ive met plenty of pple that came out great in a single parent home all because the support they lack of one parent they got from the family and that is all that counts. nothing is wrong with this idea and it is not unhealthy. lol some pple rather stay in a marriage being miserable all for the kids and being stupid as if they are hiding whats going on when the kids see it all along. then its not healthy. alot can come from that......believe me i know

[Tasuki_Civic]

I think its moreso about understanding the situation and understanding women. Don't know the OP at all but my sister went through the same thing, ended up having two daughters with the guy and I think all she wanted was the children. Was she selfish? Its my sister and its hard to say, on the outside looking in I'd say yes but seeing how happy she is.. its what she truly wanted in her heart, then again my sister is in her mid 30's, established and knew her time was running out.

My advice, think LONG and hard on this one.. a child changes your life drastically, some for the good and others for the worse. There isn't much room to make dumb decisions when you have a child that looks to you and only you. And like everyone else said, having both parents together does so much for a child.. having a stable loving home sets the standard for when they grow up and build their own relationship, it also helps with their confidence.

I could go on and on about it, I have a son out of wedlock and growing up I went through seeing my parents happy together.. then watch them go through divorce. Just be sure with whatever you choose that there is a strong male figure in your childs life.


you do seem the only sincere person on this thread

[Tasuki_Civic]

Lol...To the people calling me a dumbass for asking advice....Jesus fucking christ...



those are the people who kept in their own box. dont take them serious unless they sound somewhat sincere or have some overstanding of how you feel.

[TIGERJC]

Get a dog

[BTEC]

I read some of this, not all of it so excuse me if i repost.

I personally dont like the idea of being a sinlge parent bc that the way I was raised (dad died on the job when i was 6) and I saw how rough it was on my mom. I love the idea of an independent woman but only if she has to. For instant if the guy who got the woman pregnant is a piece os shit or if he dies or whatever. But to just choose to be a single parent puzzles me. Me and Tasuki had several conversions about this and I didnt the idea then and I dont like it now for the simple reason that its hard raising a kid and doing all the work alone is alot for 2 ppl let alone one. I understand that u have family to help and all but its still good to have the other half to help out IMO.

I dont like the idea of good woman being alone or abandoned by humans with sperm and left with the duty of raising a kid alone. Slowly, from what I know of u so far, id classify you as a good woman and should be treated well. Therefore you shouldnt have to worry about putting up with ne abnormal relationship shit from a dude, but it happens. I can go on forever on this so ill end it now.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

Get a dog
I have three and a cat. :goodjob:

[SLOWLYbtngU]

I read some of this, not all of it so excuse me if i repost.

I personally dont like the idea of being a sinlge parent bc that the way I was raised (dad died on the job when i was 6) and I saw how rough it was on my mom. I love the idea of an independent woman but only if she has to. For instant if the guy who got the woman pregnant is a piece os shit or if he dies or whatever. But to just choose to be a single parent puzzles me. Me and Tasuki had several conversions about this and I didnt the idea then and I dont like it now for the simple reason that its hard raising a kid and doing all the work alone is alot for 2 ppl let alone one. I understand that u have family to help and all but its still good to have the other half to help out IMO.

I dont like the idea of good woman being alone or abandoned by humans with sperm and left with the duty of raising a kid alone. Slowly, from what I know of u so far, id classify you as a good woman and should be treated well. Therefore you shouldnt have to worry about putting up with ne abnormal relationship shit from a dude, but it happens. I can go on forever on this so ill end it now.

Thank you Jesse. It means a lot to me that you think highly of me. I appreciate that. I understand your view as well. Everyone that has explained and answered truthfully have given me things to think about. Once again, I am not doing this today or tommorow...I am sorry if that is how it came off.

[BTEC]

Thank you Jesse. It means a lot to me that you think highly of me. I appreciate that. I understand your view as well. Everyone that has explained and answered truthfully have given me things to think about. Once again, I am not doing this today or tommorow...I am sorry if that is how it came off.
no, i didnt think that u were doing it soon. Just giving my opinion on the subject right now. Either way we're gonna be cool like we are now (we USED TO talk alot more), maye cooler then. Im with u either way hommie. Do yuh ting gyal.

[Extrememustang]

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

wow

[BTEC]

wow
yeah that shit had me pretty steamed how he just went off like that. and then to throw in the ghetto black guy thing. I let it ride but just to put it out there, my pissosity level hit max boost when i read that.

[SLOWLYbtngU]

yeah that shit had me pretty steamed how he just went off like that. and then to throw in the ghetto black guy thing. I let it ride but just to put it out there, my pissosity level hit max boost when i read that.

I think everyone's did...He is actually a decent guy. Well at least through PM's. I mean think about it...It is easy to attack people you dont know and have no background on. He made a couple of dumb remarks...So did I. It is squashed.

Pissosity?? lol...Love it!

[BTEC]

I think everyone's did...He is actually a decent guy. Well at least through PM's. I mean think about it...It is easy to attack people you dont know and have no background on. He made a couple of dumb remarks...So did I. It is squashed.

Pissosity?? lol...Love it!
glad to hear it got squashed. I realized u wasnt that made over it so i let it go. gotchow back hommie. U dnt know nun bout that max boost though. maybe ill school u one day.

[cactusEG]

if u have the money and time and space.. go for it

[speedminded]

wowwait a min...i knew i'd seen that car somewhere before! You were parked up front at the fights at Wild Bills the other night...the HRE's caught my eye across the parking lot :tongue: