EvasiveEF9
03-18-2007, 09:26 PM
AKA Hulud
You in here, tonight? Got some funny shit for you. And I make it public because she's a public service announcement, LoL.
Here's the added humor ya'll wanted...
So I met this girl about a year ago. Left an AWESOME chick that was pretty much all I'd ever wanted in a girl for this new chick. Uh...name's will be kept anonymous...
Anyways, so this new chick is ballin'. She's cool as hell, parents are strict, but whatever, she's got a rack. We dated a while, got it on a few times, and at a varsity meet, I meet Hulud. Hulud looked at my funny when we met, and I never understood why. He was just short with words when it came to me. So this past...september, I go through FROG week (basically, the corps version of "boot camp") and I break down, tell her she's the one, I love her, I wanna marry her (because we'd been talking about it for a while, and I'd actually been saving for a ring). So after I tell her all this, I find out she's been talking to this other dude. He grabs her and kisses her, and she can't understand why I'm pissed. She tells me she enjoyed it...and can't figure out why I was pissed.
Time moves on, he goes around, tells everyone they slept together and such, so I tell her I love her and will take her back. She says I love you too, let's get back together. Next day, she's with another dude. Meanwhile, I'm not even allowed to talk to this girl Jesse from my biology course.
Time passes, she splits with him, tells me she loves me, misses me, wants me back, and I say I'll take her. She says let's get together. Next day, she's with a new dude. They split after time.
Few weeks later, "Ben, I love you, I miss you, you're who I realyl wanna be with". Like a fool..."cool, let's do it". Next WEEK (she lasted a week this time...) she's with a new dude. At this point, I'd finally slept with another chick. She tells me she hates me for it. Two weeks later, I get a call from her "Ben, I was tested, and they found something, I have to get surgery." LoL, she caught it AFTER we'd slept together, so I'm clean. Karma's a bitch. Cuz I found out that she slept with another dude before we split (this dude was clean) cheated on him with me, then got with dude 3 and slept with him, then wanted to cheat on him with me, but I said no. She then got with dude 4, and cheated on him with dude 3.
So this new dude starts talkin' to me like I"m a threat. I was like "WTF, dude, I'm not a threat" and he asked me everything I could tell him on her. I did. He trusted me. Started to find her in lies, but wanted to see how long it'd go. I told him straight up, "Watch your investments. In two months, you'll be gone". Well, it happened this past week on spring break on a cruise. He was on the boat...but she had other boys in her room. Last week made two months EXACT from when I told him "two months, bro". Not only that but she was his ride to and from the cruise ship. She left him at the dock and said "you need to find your own ride".
Come to find out...she took like 3 grand he spent on her.
Karma's a bitch. She's not got an STD. She's a whore. She's GOTTA be loose as a goose by now. And any guy will be with her two months...tops.
The hulud part, now. About a month ago, he tells me he slept with her (right?) before she became the whore she is today. He told me that the reason he looked at me, and was short with words was because he wanted to warn me of just how jacked up this chick is. He was right. I'd not have listened, but I wish he'd told me. Now, dude 4 is talking to me, and he's saying the same things hulud and I say.
To me, it's funny as shit. To you, it might not be.
Public Service Announcement: Beware the name "Julie," and especially if her hometown is now Orlando. You've been warned.
Glad I never spent my money on her. After we split she asked where all the money came from I was putting into the car. I told her "Your engagement ring". She wanted to get back together. I told her pretty much to fuck off.
Oh, also, I just remembered. She's got this godfather named David (another piece to identify her with) and he gets her drunk and tries to take advantage of her. She's like 18 or 19, and he's like 40. Yet she still goes to his house ALL the time...KNOWING he wants to fuck her. He molested her at age like 13, or something like...i'm begining to wonder now just how much she fought it...
You in here, tonight? Got some funny shit for you. And I make it public because she's a public service announcement, LoL.
Here's the added humor ya'll wanted...
So I met this girl about a year ago. Left an AWESOME chick that was pretty much all I'd ever wanted in a girl for this new chick. Uh...name's will be kept anonymous...
Anyways, so this new chick is ballin'. She's cool as hell, parents are strict, but whatever, she's got a rack. We dated a while, got it on a few times, and at a varsity meet, I meet Hulud. Hulud looked at my funny when we met, and I never understood why. He was just short with words when it came to me. So this past...september, I go through FROG week (basically, the corps version of "boot camp") and I break down, tell her she's the one, I love her, I wanna marry her (because we'd been talking about it for a while, and I'd actually been saving for a ring). So after I tell her all this, I find out she's been talking to this other dude. He grabs her and kisses her, and she can't understand why I'm pissed. She tells me she enjoyed it...and can't figure out why I was pissed.
Time moves on, he goes around, tells everyone they slept together and such, so I tell her I love her and will take her back. She says I love you too, let's get back together. Next day, she's with another dude. Meanwhile, I'm not even allowed to talk to this girl Jesse from my biology course.
Time passes, she splits with him, tells me she loves me, misses me, wants me back, and I say I'll take her. She says let's get together. Next day, she's with a new dude. They split after time.
Few weeks later, "Ben, I love you, I miss you, you're who I realyl wanna be with". Like a fool..."cool, let's do it". Next WEEK (she lasted a week this time...) she's with a new dude. At this point, I'd finally slept with another chick. She tells me she hates me for it. Two weeks later, I get a call from her "Ben, I was tested, and they found something, I have to get surgery." LoL, she caught it AFTER we'd slept together, so I'm clean. Karma's a bitch. Cuz I found out that she slept with another dude before we split (this dude was clean) cheated on him with me, then got with dude 3 and slept with him, then wanted to cheat on him with me, but I said no. She then got with dude 4, and cheated on him with dude 3.
So this new dude starts talkin' to me like I"m a threat. I was like "WTF, dude, I'm not a threat" and he asked me everything I could tell him on her. I did. He trusted me. Started to find her in lies, but wanted to see how long it'd go. I told him straight up, "Watch your investments. In two months, you'll be gone". Well, it happened this past week on spring break on a cruise. He was on the boat...but she had other boys in her room. Last week made two months EXACT from when I told him "two months, bro". Not only that but she was his ride to and from the cruise ship. She left him at the dock and said "you need to find your own ride".
Come to find out...she took like 3 grand he spent on her.
Karma's a bitch. She's not got an STD. She's a whore. She's GOTTA be loose as a goose by now. And any guy will be with her two months...tops.
The hulud part, now. About a month ago, he tells me he slept with her (right?) before she became the whore she is today. He told me that the reason he looked at me, and was short with words was because he wanted to warn me of just how jacked up this chick is. He was right. I'd not have listened, but I wish he'd told me. Now, dude 4 is talking to me, and he's saying the same things hulud and I say.
To me, it's funny as shit. To you, it might not be.
Public Service Announcement: Beware the name "Julie," and especially if her hometown is now Orlando. You've been warned.
Glad I never spent my money on her. After we split she asked where all the money came from I was putting into the car. I told her "Your engagement ring". She wanted to get back together. I told her pretty much to fuck off.
Oh, also, I just remembered. She's got this godfather named David (another piece to identify her with) and he gets her drunk and tries to take advantage of her. She's like 18 or 19, and he's like 40. Yet she still goes to his house ALL the time...KNOWING he wants to fuck her. He molested her at age like 13, or something like...i'm begining to wonder now just how much she fought it...